President Donald Trump declared a national emergency when he found out the White House had run completely out of toilet paper. He made the discovery when he was on the crapper performing a bowel movement. He ended up using the shower curtain to wip...
Cognizant that months of sheltering in place will have made people especially vulnerable to bacterial hazards, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has partnered with Bayer AG, which acquired what used to be Monsanto in June of 2018, to dis...
The United States is taking steps to extradite the country of Sweden, which declined to impose a nationwide lockdown in response to the coronavirus pandemic and, instead, encouraged citizens to practice good judgment and limit contact with vulnerable...
Washington, DC. - New epidemiological studies have found a never-before seen microbe replacing the "Leader of the Free World", President Donald Trump, with some conspiracy paranoia and total ineptitude facing the global pandemic that is taking lives.
Weeks into the COVID-19 lockdown, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention encouragingly reported that social distancing is working - as evidenced by the fact that people are feeling more distant than ever. “I’ve felt disconnected from frien...
Concerned about his 0.1- to one-percent risk of dying from COVID-19 but wishing to support local essential small businesses in economically challenging times, 33-year-old Brian Lewis of Nashville, Tennessee, continues to buy his cigarettes in person...
Triggered by a dirty look he received from a surgically-masked woman when he sauntered barefaced into a Nashville grocery store, 28-year-old Travis Kane momentarily lapsed from political correctness into regular correctness, demanding loudly, "So do...
Want to do the right thing with regard to COVID-19, but uncertain what that right thing is? If so, you're not alone. Weeks into the coronavirus lockdown, many Americans have found themselves torn between the message they are hearing from the left, th...
Congratulating Americans on their response to the deadly worldwide COVID-19 pandemic, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention encouraged people that they'll be able to apply the lessons they’re learning from coronavirus in the next pandemic, w...
After years of questioning United States President Donald Trump’s sweeping use of executive powers and internationally provocative militarism, American progressives, thanks to COVID-19, have embraced a sweeping infringement of civil liberties, explai...
Members of the right-wing movement known as the Pandemic Preppers, who have embraced COVID-19 and its trappings not just as a riveting national crisis but as a lifestyle, have tweaked the Trump “MAGA” motto to “Make America germ-free again.” Said...
(San Louis Obispo, California) The endless media bombardment that has pummeled the public from the Coronavirus pandemic, has overwhelmed the majority of us. Between continual news updates from social media, a cacophony of online broadcasts, and daily...
(Baltimore, Maryland) As the Coronavirus continues its spread to every inhabited corner of the planet, everyday citizens’ appetite for the disease’s telemetry has grown exponentially, mainly to enable them to debate their expertise on epidemiology on...
(Philadelphia, PA) Support The Ribbons, Inc. (a New York state supplier of made-in-China custom-printed magnetic ribbons) announced a new line of products specifically designed to address the needs of the true heroes of this tragic time, the Last Lin...
April 8, 2020 (Cameron Park). Dozens of residents of a middle class Cameron Park neighborhood reported receiving threatening, anonymous notes in their mailboxes. Sheriff Mahoney initially declined to investigate, citing all manpower was dedicated to...
Given that almost all of those who die from COVID-19 have at least one comorbidity factor like hypertension or diabetes, self-describedly “curvy” Meghan Cantwell of Nashville, Tennessee, was extremely encouraged to learn that some research suggests t...
April 1, 2020 (Sacramento, CA). California Governor Newsom has urged all CA residents to storm their local grocery and hardware stores to boost the economy and show support for local businesses. He dismissed critics' concerns about violating soci...
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