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Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-Six: Off for Blood Tests

A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-Six: Off for Blood Tests

A diary of one man's (Using the term man loosely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, that had started in August 1947 Chapter 99:: A Pleasant Walk to the QMC for my blood-tests The rain from the day before had relented, so off I set on my marathon hobble to the Queens Medical Centre, from my humble wreck of a two-up-two-down crumbling holed roofed hovel of...

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Funny story: My Senior Moments for W/E: 29th April 2012

My Senior Moments for W/E: 29th April 2012

Sunday 22nd April 2012 * Had to stop using computer, as the pains in hands got worse than ever, and I dropped my dinner, amazingly the plate did not break though! * PM hands a bit better, back on the keyboard! Monday 23rd April 2012 * Had a bath, 5 min's to run it, 16 minutes wash & soak, and 15 minutes to get out of it! * Went over to see Margaret and Stew, but they'd gone out. * Deci...

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Funny story: Nottingham News for W/E: 29th April 2012

Nottingham News for W/E: 29th April 2012

Monday 23rd April 2012 Topic: Crime - Murder "Nottingham murder police in plea to taxi drivers" Source: BBC News Extract Police investigating the murder of a teenager outside a pub in Nottingham have appealed for taxi drivers who were in the area to contact them. Malakai McKenzie, 19, died from a gunshot wound following an attack outside the Hubb, on Hucknall Road, Sherwood, early on Saturday...

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Funny story: Bartholomew Utterswaithe Interview: Teenagers & Web Porn

Bartholomew Utterswaithe Interview: Teenagers & Web Porn

26th April 2012 The Nottingham Pickpocket Supplement The Bartholomew Utterswaithe Column This week, I've been out on the streets of Nottingham, to get peoples views about: Should teenagers be stopped from looking at porn on the web? A matter of great concern for many parents and shoplifters locally. The first person I interviewed, as he came out from the Deltalove Adult Shop, at 147...

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Funny story: Nottingham men in naked Wiccan arson romp

Nottingham men in naked Wiccan arson romp

Nottingham - A packed court has heard how two Nottingham pagans used an ancient 'skyclad' rite as a bit of an excuse for a spot of naked romping around a makeshift indoor fire. The Meadows residents Mr A Mughal and Mr T Williams shed their inhibit...

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Funny story: Nottingham News for W/E: 22nd April 2012

Nottingham News for W/E: 22nd April 2012

Monday 16th April 2012 Topic: Crime "Two people hurt in shooting outside Nottingham hotel" Source: This is Nottingham Extract: Two people suffered leg injuries in a late-night shooting outside a Nottingham hotel. A 17-year-old youth and a 36-year-old woman were standing in front of the Stage Hotel, in Gregory Boulevard, on Saturday when they were hurt. Comment: "Very encouraging, that hotel...

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Funny story: My Senior Moments - W/E Sunday 22nd April 2012 - Two

My Senior Moments - W/E Sunday 22nd April 2012 - Two

Monday 16th April 2012 * Shock of the Spoof being down when I tried to open it, was not as bad as last time. * Had bath, did teggies, shaved, had crap and changed into glad-rags, and went over the road to grope Margaret. (In my dreams!) * Walked to get some nosh, and got the tram back. I hope someone found my fingerless gloves wot I left on the tram platform seat and has made use of them. Tu...

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Funny story: Aliens Letter home from Earth translated

Aliens Letter home from Earth translated

Nottingham reporter and wicker-bottom chair repairer Bartholomew Utterswaith, has deciphered a letter meant for despatch to another planet, by an alien who had to make an emergency landing on earth, in the Nottingham Council Benefits Office toilets, currently under review for closure. Here is the translated wording: Dear Mother & Father, Just to let you know that I am safe after the L...

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Funny story: My Senior Moments - W/E Sunday 15th April 2012 - Two

My Senior Moments - W/E Sunday 15th April 2012 - Two

Monday 9th April 2012 * Up at 0300hrs - To the WC, cup of tea, pain killers, to the WC, on the Spoof, up to the WC, spill tea over me knees... luckily it was no longer hot, to the WC... usual morning up to now (0505hrs). Tuesday 10th April 2012 * Up and on the web at 0020hrs this morning. Determined to keep any senior moments to a minimum! Wednesday 11th April 2012 * Went over too see Ste...

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Funny story: Nottingham News for W/E: 15th April 2012

Nottingham News for W/E: 15th April 2012

Sunday 8th April 2012 Topic: Crime - murder - appeal "Notts man Neil Entwistle appeals against murder conviction" Source: Nottingham Post Extract: Neil Entwistle, 32, convicted of murdering his wife and baby daughter at their US home has launched a formal appeal against his conviction. Entwistle, a former IT consultant from Kilton, Worksop, formally filed an appeal yesterday after arguing he...

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Funny story: Hostage Drama at Nottingham Junior School

Hostage Drama at Nottingham Junior School

Police responded with dogs, helicopter, and ARV (Armed Response Vehicle) to a call for help, from the Some Saints Junior School this morning at 0928hrs. They sealed off all roads surrounding the school, apart from the one to the bookies. A stat...

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Funny story: 'CSI-Nottingham' TV series to be made

'CSI-Nottingham' TV series to be made

Following the huge success of the American CSI series, CSI Las Vegas, CSI New York, CSI Miami, and CSI Los Angeles, the BBC have applied for permission to make an English CSI Nottingham Series. Originally thought to be impracticable by the £406k salaried BBC's Director of Vision, Jana Bennett, as she was made aware that after the cutbacks, Nottingham has only 4 members left in its Forensic Scie...

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Funny story: Historical Walks of Ye Olde Nottingham - Along Bulwell Main Street

Historical Walks of Ye Olde Nottingham - Along Bulwell Main Street

Join our guide for the day, Senior Citizen and Nottingham resident Bartholomew Utterswaite, for a walk down Along Bulwell Main Street today, comparing the same walk with that of 1963, when your guide was working on that same street. We stroll from what today is the KFC take away, at the end of Hucknall Lane along Main Street into Bulwell Market and the train and tram Station. We start off at...

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Funny story: The Bartholomew Uttersthwaite Column: Hospital Local Elections Survey

The Bartholomew Uttersthwaite Column: Hospital Local Elections Survey

Bartholomew Uttersthwaite had originally been out on his mission to obtain the views of the Nottingham public, on the upcoming Local Elections, but suffered failure in that attempt. Bartholomew Utterswaite Column - Local Eklections Survey Hence this, his second effort, done during his stay in ward E19 of the QMC hospital in Nottingham, as a result of his first attempt. As soon as he started to...

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Funny story: My Senior Moments - W/E Sunday 8th April 2012

My Senior Moments - W/E Sunday 8th April 2012

Monday 2nd April: * No Senior Moments to report today, unless of course, one has occurred that had taken affect at a later time, that my limited observational and memory cells had missed, by which time I would have become aware of its happening in which case it may be recorded elsewhere in this log, if I remember it. Or not. (I think) Tuesday 3rd April: * Hobbled to the QMC for weekly...

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Funny story: Nottingham News for W/E 8th April 2012 - with comments

Nottingham News for W/E 8th April 2012 - with comments

Monday 2nd April: Topic: Parking Levy "Workplace Parking Levy begins in Nottingham" Source: BBC News A levy which charges employers for their staff to park at work has begun in Nottingham. Employers with 11 or more parking spaces now have to pay Nottingham City Council £288 a year per space under the Workplace Parking Levy. Many employers have decided to pass on some or all of the c...

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Funny story: Nottingham News for W/E 1st April 2012 - with comments

Nottingham News for W/E 1st April 2012 - with comments

Monday 26th March: Topic: This is Nottingham Poll "After watching Channel 4 show Coppers, has your opinion of Nottinghamshire Police..." Source: Coppers - Nottingham Poll results: Improved - 60% Worsened - 26% Remained unchanged - 14% Comment:Take a peep at the source link video, see what you think. I have no views to air on the subject, but if I do ever see policeman in my area who is n...

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