Following Boris Johnson's astonishing refusal to help clear up the mess he'd created in the referendum, his companion-in-arms in their 'leave and let die' campaign to destroy the United Kingdom has now also fled the stage. "I want my life back," w...
There was fury last night when it emerged that England's entire Euro 16 squad (with the exception of Jack Wilshere) have been refused Personal Independence Payment (PIP). Manager Roy Hodgson resigned in disgust, with a close friend claiming, "Roy...
Brexit campaigners Leave UK have controversially claimed that the UK would be 4 degrees warmer if it leaves the EU. However, the claim is disputed by both the UK's own Met Office, and the International Bureau Meteorologique (IBM) which is based in An...
UKIP has decided to forego its political ambitions in favour of becoming an all-singing, all-dancing musical theatre troupe. The party's leader Nigel Farage is believed to be pursuing the extreme change of directions in the hopes of achieving a le...
With only a day to go until the final, UK entry Evacuated Bowel say that they want to go one better than the last few dismal efforts and actually register a negative score. Their song, 'I Want Your Ear Wax All Over Me', is an up-beat reggae song that...
The BBC has announced that the election debate on Thursday will borrow the format of the popular quiz show; "Eggheads". "Dickheads" (BBC1, Thursday, 8.00pm) will feature several themed rounds. Round 1; "cliché repetition". Ed Miliband is odds-on favourite to win this with "world banking crisis" and "I hated Blair and Brown as much as you!" Round 2; impassioned ideology. Natalie Bennett should w...
UKIP's Naughty Nigel has made a few blunders in a recent notable humanitarian agitprop outlet. Now, I do warn you that I'm a little tired today; or indeed, fatigué, cansado, distrutto... See, I said it in French and some other languages that foreigners speak, so TECHNICALLY, I'm not being racist. Indeed, if anything, I'm being rather less racist than, say, the GENUINE BIGOT Tommy Robins...
Nigel Farage has finally had it with the intransigence of the EU. So he's offering the following nuclear option for Europe, which has terrified sundry Eurocrats and politicians of all the once proud and arrogant former states of Europe. Nigel genially smirks: If you don't give us what we want, we will stay in the EU forever! Apparently the whole continent's quaking in their seven-l...
The Conservative Party UK has just announced that David Cameron has promised not to serve a third term as PM, YES! After the announcement was made towns all over the country are planning street parties, celebrations and firework displays in a show...
Pint size rocker Squiggle, formerly known as Prince has publicly announced that Nigel Farage' s new book entitled, 'the Purple Revolution' infringes on his intellectual rights that pertain to that of the Revolution rock band which was his intellectu...
UKIP leader, Nigel Farage, went public today with his immigration spearhead, 'Boot out the Soccer Wetbacks'. Wetbacks is derogatory slang for illegal Mexican immigrants who attempted crossing the Rio Grande river into the US which originated from...
CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) star reporter, Heinz Neo-NonNazi, has just jackbooted out of Nigel Farage's mansion through the bog and sewer and relayed this report to Neo-Non-Nazi HQ in a bunker near Berlin. Nigel was chatting to his German mi...
Talks have been held between a (still somewhat) cocky UKIP and a (more and more by the hour) desperate Labour Party, with a view to constructing a possible future coalition. Hopes were originally high, with optimistic and even downright ecstatica...
With the current series of Celebrity Big Brother soon coming to an end there is already speculation to who will be entering the Celebrity Big Brother house come the next series in the summer, but one of the most interesting names to be rumored is tha...
The results of a survey of people carried out in over 50 countries show that over 98% of them are 'foreigners'. The Daily Mail allegedly stated that this is the way things are going and soon there could be even more foreigners abroad. The Daily Expre...
UKIP, right wing Tories and red-top tabloids have all today condemned the entrance of an illegal immigrant into Paddington. The suspect believed to be named as Paddington Bear was taken in my a suburban family believed to be known as 'The Browns' and...
David Cameron is reported to be "livid" about rumours that he has not been informed about negotiations for his possible defection to the "highly popular" YUKIP party. Nigel Farage is said to be delighted about the rumours and is said to be keen to...
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