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Funny satire stories about Newt Gingrich

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Funny story: Palin Stumps for Gingrich, Newt's End is Near

Palin Stumps for Gingrich, Newt's End is Near

Poking her uninvited nose into one more media hype cycle, Sarah Palin has announced her staunch support of fellow conservative, Newt Gingrich, just in time for the Florida primary. With a political win-loss record of 0-2, Palin somehow felt that h...

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Funny story: Political Facebook - Ron Paul, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, & John Boehner

Political Facebook - Ron Paul, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, & John Boehner

Political Facebook Ron Paul: Okay Mitt, so when are you and Captain Kangaroo Gingrich gonna come on down to Texas and take me up on my offer of that 25-mile bike ride? 9:03 a.m. Mitt Romney: Ron, I have no plans of doing such a thing. And besides I do not even own a bike. 9:07 a.m. Ron Paul: That's not a problem Mitty old boy. You can use my wife's bike. It's pink but hell, I'm pretty...

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Funny story: Nancy Pelosi's "Secret" About Newt Revealed

Nancy Pelosi's "Secret" About Newt Revealed

WASHINGTON, DC - A Congressional aide claims to know the "secret" which Nancy Pelosi (D-California) keeps threatening to reveal. Unfortunately, revealing the "secret" could have the "unintended consequence" of making Newt Gingrich more popular with v...

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Funny story: Newt Gingrich campaign promise: colonize the Moon with Mitt Romney supporters

Newt Gingrich campaign promise: colonize the Moon with Mitt Romney supporters

Newt Gingrich's latest campaign promise has NASA and Dems on tenterhooks: to colonize the Moon with Romney supporters, vegans and telemarketers. While the absence of unwanted masses in those categories might improve American life as we know it, the p...

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Funny story: Newt Gingrich to demolish Old Testament cemetery to make way for US moon base

Newt Gingrich to demolish Old Testament cemetery to make way for US moon base

Washington - The lunar mausoleum is said to contain the remains of Old Testament stalwarts like the Prophet Elijah, renowned for his ascent into heaven in a flaming chariot. Now its very existence is coming under threat as GOP White House wannabe...

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Funny story: Gingrich Responds To Pelosi: She Has Eyes Like Two Piss Holes In A Snowbank

Gingrich Responds To Pelosi: She Has Eyes Like Two Piss Holes In A Snowbank

BILLINGSGATE POST: Responding to Nancy Pelosi's statement to CNN that Newt Gingrich would never be elected president, Newt told CNN that whatever crystal ball she is looking at, "it must be difficult to focus because she has eyes like two piss holes...

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Funny story: Gingrich Lobbies Tiger Woods for Support in Florida

Gingrich Lobbies Tiger Woods for Support in Florida

Emerging like a Phoenix in South Carolina after his second wife dropped the infidelity bomb on him, Newt Gingrich is now lobbying Tiger Woods for campaign support in Florida, says "they're kindred spirits". Referring to Tiger's ability to launch a...

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Funny story: Bad Romance: So What's the Skinny?

Bad Romance: So What's the Skinny?

Given the assignment to write about the subject of Bad Romance, spoof reporter Gail Farrelly grabbed her trusty tape recorder and set out to collect the opinions of a number of experts in the field. A meticulous researcher, Farrelly went to the ends of the earth and beyond to get the whole scoop. Here are her findings -- expressed in direct quotes from the interviewees, who were asked: What...

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Funny story: Gingrich romps in South Carolina, plans to romp with young, sexy aide to celebrate

Gingrich romps in South Carolina, plans to romp with young, sexy aide to celebrate

CHARLESTOWN, Sc. - Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich pulled out a successful showing in South Carolina's primary, beating out Mitt Romney and leaving Rick Santorum in the dust. Insiders feel that the time is ripe for the 68-year-old...

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Funny story: Newt Gingrich Reveals Special Origin of Unusual Name

Newt Gingrich Reveals Special Origin of Unusual Name

Newt Gingrich has tonight revealed the origins of his unusual name. This revelation is set to amuse many, and may shine a light on the dark years of Newt's life when he went missing in the rural countryside of Great Britain. During the late 197...

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Funny story: Sexipedia's Sexual Analysis of South Carolina GOP Race

Sexipedia's Sexual Analysis of South Carolina GOP Race

Sexipedia, the Internet Sexual Proclivity site, has provided a unique analysis of yesterday's South Carolina GOP Presidential race. Through its exit poll analysis, Sexipedia researchers claim that they have dissected South Carolinians' presidential preferences (1= most preferred; 4= least preferred) based upon their rather diverse sexual proclivities. Those who enjoy carnal relations with firs...

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Funny story: Ron Paul Accuses Gingrich Of Squeezing Off A Battery Of Popcorn Farts During Debate

Ron Paul Accuses Gingrich Of Squeezing Off A Battery Of Popcorn Farts During Debate

BILLINGSGATE POST - During Thursday's GOP debate millions of viewers were wondering why Congressman Ron Paul's answers were so incoherent. Inexplicably, the usually laconic Texas Congressman began to babble like a demented chipmunk when asked if he...

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Funny story: It's Official: Romney a Robot

It's Official: Romney a Robot

Sources within Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney's campaign today acknowledged what most Americans have long believed: Romney is a robot. When asked to comment on the report at a Tallahassee, Florida, Jiffy Lube where his car was inex...

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Funny story: Newt's Ex Warned Him: Man Who Looses Key To Girlfriend's Apartment No Get New Key

Newt's Ex Warned Him: Man Who Looses Key To Girlfriend's Apartment No Get New Key

BILLINGSGATE POST - Last night, CNN's John King opened the debate by deliberately throwing a slow pitch into Newt Gingrich's wheel house. Newt turned on it and blasted it out of the ball park to the raucous cheers of his South Carolina fans. Earl...

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Funny story: Gingrich Not as Rich as Romney

Gingrich Not as Rich as Romney

Following a roller coaster news day yesterday replete with ex-wife jabs and tax return eye openers, Newt Gingrich is proving himself to the candidate who isn't as rich as rival Mitt Romney. "I guess that could be taken in multiple ways", says poli...

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Funny story: Gingrich's Daughter's Prayer

Gingrich's Daughter's Prayer

Sounding like a prayer, two of Newt Gingrich daughters issued a statement following wife number two's revelation in a ABC Brian Ross interview: Newton Leroy wanted an open marriage and to continue his relationship with his mistress, Callista. The above fails to sound like a family values candidate of South Carolina. Hence, the daughters statement. Sort of sounding like: Our father, which...

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Funny story: Political Facebook - Newt Gingrich and Rick Perry

Political Facebook - Newt Gingrich and Rick Perry

POLITICAL FACEBOOK Newt Gingrich: Rick I am going to have to ask you to please refrain from mentioning my two ex-wives and the fact that I dumped them. My present wife Callista is upset and she is starting to get a little bit insecure. 11:20 a.m. Rick Perry: I'm sorry Newt, I do recall your first wife and your second wife but I cannot recall your third wife. 11:24 a.m. Newt Gingrich: Lo...

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