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Funny satire stories about New Jersey

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Funny story: New Jersey Home Depot to Partner with Miley Cyrus

New Jersey Home Depot to Partner with Miley Cyrus

At a recent press conference in the parking lot of the Egg Harbor Township Home Depot, local ad manager Tom Turvey announced his plans to feature Miley Cyrus in all of the store's in-house, print and local television advertising in 2014. Based on th...

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Funny story: New Jersey Boardwalk Fire Will Be Ruled "Accidental"

New Jersey Boardwalk Fire Will Be Ruled "Accidental"

NEW YORK, NY - Investigators have determined that the fire last week that destroyed 68 businesses on the boardwalk in Seaside Park, N.J., was not set intentionally, according to the person who was seen running from the fire with an empty gas can.

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Funny story: A List of Governor Chris Christie's 12 Favorite Foods

A List of Governor Chris Christie's 12 Favorite Foods

There is perhaps no politician in the United States who enjoys eating more than Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey. Governor Christie adheres to the adage popularized by 70s musical icon David Crosby who said on many occasions that he had never met food that he did not like. The New Jersey governor has revealed that he weighs 351 pounds and chuckles that about 198 pounds is water weight.

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Funny story: Governor Chris Christie Says New Jersey Will Come Down Hard On Computer Hackers

Governor Chris Christie Says New Jersey Will Come Down Hard On Computer Hackers

TRENTON, New Jersey - Governor Chris Christie has just announced that the state's seedy individuals who think that it is funny to mess with New Jersey's computer system are in for a mighty rude awakening. The governor has issued a Governor's Direc...

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Funny story: Hurricane Sandy Takes Gigantic Shit On US East Coast and It's All Your Fault.

Hurricane Sandy Takes Gigantic Shit On US East Coast and It's All Your Fault.

Hurricane Sandy Takes Gigantic Shit On US East Coast and It's All Your Fault. 1) Browbeating Jersey Shore cast members and Jersey Mike's via Twitter isn't the same as actually helping fellow New Jerseyans.  2) I wish I was as motivated to be a community advocate and humanitarian even if there weren't flattened houses in my neighborhood. That's a character defect I intend to rectify.  3)...

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Funny story: Gov. Chris Christie: I'm Voting For President Obama

Gov. Chris Christie: I'm Voting For President Obama

BRIGANTINE, New Jersey - New Jersey Governor Chris Christie rode with President Obama in the official presidential helicopter Marine One. The two men took a tour of the devastation that Hurricane Sandy caused in Governor Christie's state. As th...

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Funny story: Romney hands out two-hundred Happy Meals at devastated New Jersey shore

Romney hands out two-hundred Happy Meals at devastated New Jersey shore

Mitt Romney flew to the New Jersey shore today with a camera crew and handed out Happy Meals to a crowd of seven hundred hungry and homeless New Jersey residents. According to the traveling press corps Romney realized his largess was more than a...

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Funny story: Flash Mob Teens Met By Flash Mob Police Dogs

Flash Mob Teens Met By Flash Mob Police Dogs

HACKENSACK, New Jersey - A group of about 20 teenagers who went into Stefano Silvestri's Shirt Shop got the surprise of their young lives. The teens thought that they could just barge in and help themselves to whatever shirts they wanted free of c...

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Funny story: Heidi Montag To Star As Patricia Krentcil In The Horror Movie "The Attack of The Tanorexic Woman"

Heidi Montag To Star As Patricia Krentcil In The Horror Movie "The Attack of The Tanorexic Woman"

HOLLYWOOD - Cinema Castle Pictures will soon begin production on the Sheboygan Saddlewood film based on the New Jersey "Tanning Woman" Patricia Krentcil. Saddlewood noted that Heidi Montag has been signed to portray Krentcil who is considered to b...

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Funny story: Tebow encouraged by friends not to live in the City, but instead in Holy Jersey

Tebow encouraged by friends not to live in the City, but instead in Holy Jersey

New York City - Tim Tebow is coming to New York and those close to him are already painting the City as Sodom and Gomorrah. Instead, Tebow is being advised to jump on Interstate-95 and head south to Jersey, home of such whole television dramas as The...

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Funny story: Not So Fast, Homos: Governor Christie Vetoes Same-Sex Marriage Bill

Not So Fast, Homos: Governor Christie Vetoes Same-Sex Marriage Bill

Homosexuals state-wide are putting their wedding registries at Block Party and Andrew Christian on indefinite hold, now that gigantic, half-witted New Jersey Republican Governor Chris Christie has veto a law which would make same-sex marriage legal i...

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Funny story: Turd Burglars Call For "Brown-Out" Boycotting Gay Sex After Governor Vetoes Same-Sex Marriage Bill.

Turd Burglars Call For "Brown-Out" Boycotting Gay Sex After Governor Vetoes Same-Sex Marriage Bill.

Homosexuals state-wide are putting their wedding registries at Block Party and Andrew Christian on indefinite hold, now that a certain gigantic, half-witted Republican Governor has vetoed a law which would make same-sex marriage legal in his state. [...

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Funny story: First Mandatory NYC Evacuation Ordered - New Yorkers Yawn; Clean Orderly City So Impressive Evacuation Now Extended to New Jersey

First Mandatory NYC Evacuation Ordered - New Yorkers Yawn; Clean Orderly City So Impressive Evacuation Now Extended to New Jersey

NEW YORK - The normally filthy streets emptied out and the mind-numbing roar of the subways came to a stop. Streets emptied until you could actually cross Broadway without taking out an insurance policy. NYC's famous kamikazi cab drivers were no wher...

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Funny story: Millionaires For Christie Website Knocks New Jersey Governor's Wealth, Gigantic Fat Ass

Millionaires For Christie Website Knocks New Jersey Governor's Wealth, Gigantic Fat Ass

A new website, which will not receive a free plug herein, is knocking New Jersey Governor Chris Christie's millionaire status and cholesterol levels in a series of new ads. "Governor Christie cut our schools, women's health care and our public saf...

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Funny story: New Jersey Governor Chris Christie Denies He's Gay

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie Denies He's Gay

A new study suggests that one in thirty people in the United States is gay. That's 8,707,739 or roughly the entire population of New Jersey. New Jersey Governor, Chris Christie, denies he's gay. Okay. So make that 8,707,738, but still...That's a lot...

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Funny story: New Jersey Governor Changes State Motto to "Whatchu Lookin' At?"

New Jersey Governor Changes State Motto to "Whatchu Lookin' At?"

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie didn't take long to make a name for himself in the political world with his shoot-from-the-hip approach to the many problems facing his state. With his recent calls for cutting school budgets and public workers' rig...

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Funny story: China Manufactures 'Smart Ass' Appliances to Compete with 'Smart' Appliances

China Manufactures 'Smart Ass' Appliances to Compete with 'Smart' Appliances

Major appliance manufacturers unveiled their "smart" appliances at the annual Consumer Electronics Show this year in Las Vegas. They claim their refrigerator can tweet you on your twitter page to let you know when your veggies in the bin are spoiling...

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