Washington, DC - Americans are betting that they can select a better president by chance than by choice. The presidential elections, which were scheduled for next November, have been replaced by the nation's first Presidential Lottery. The new rul...
The government plans to launch a new lotto style 'National Hottery' to provide the warmth of hope to those members of the electorate struggling to combat the rising problem of 'fuel poverty', according to a leaked report. The report claims that go...
The latest winners of a hugely obscene amount of money, a couple from Cambridgeshire, have announced that after they have paid their bills, bought a new house, a new car and a more up-to-date mp3 player, they are going to buy Greece. After they have...
Dedicated Chelsea fans and new Euromillionaires, Dave and Angela Dawes, have decided to invest their winnings by buying Chelsea FC from Roman Abramovich. They are so fanatic about the club and have only one desire; to make it British once again.
A very tight Scottish couple have won 161 million GBP on the Euromillions lottery and have promised not to alter their lifestyle. They are devoted scrooges and winning the millions will not change a thing. Scottish people are renowned for their ti...
Glasgow - A pair of middle-aged chinless blobs from Lard - er...Largs! - in Ayrshire won the record breaking jackpot after a seven week-long rollover. Chris and Colin Weird (sic) said today they would be investing some of the dosh in gastric band...
The 1960's pop combo from Solihull in the West Midlands, the Applejacks, who had a monster 60's hit with 'Tell Me When' have announced that they are to form a National Lottery Syndicate. Initially, it is thought that the syndicate will only involv...
Reinhold Reince Priebus, Chairman of the Republican National Committee, recently revealed that plans are being formulated to conduct a National Republican Lottery sometime in August. It will be conducted similar to the Selective Training and Serv...
Accrington man, Farty Arse, who changed his name by deed poll from Julius Woodbine in 1997 has come up trumps on the National Lottery after netting a cool five hundred pounds on a scratch card. Mr Arse - unemployed since 1979 - excitedly revealed...
London - Secrecy shrouds the identity of last October's staggering EuroMillions jackpot ticket-holder who plumped for anonimity when trousering the dosh. But the rumor was all the rage inside Buckingham Palace's gilded walls this afternoon as gues...
Media tycoon Richard Desmond has unveiled a new lottery game which aims to raise awareness of the disparity of healthcare across the UK. Everyone will pay into the lottery from their normal tax contributions, and the fund will be used to pay for a...
The BBC, in which every UK household has a £150 share in order to ensure the director general Mark "bound to soon be a sir or maybe even a lord" Thompson has a huge salary and gives the public wonderful repeats, has decided that, with the impending r...
A leaked memo from UKIP, the United Kingdom Independence Party, has revealed how the minority party intends to reduce the British deficit. The party, which ironical has several European MPs despite it's purported aim of taking Britain out of Europ...
The winners of the £113 million Euromillions prize have finally come forward to claim their money. The winners are believed to be a syndicate of four men, who do not wish their identities to be revealed in case people insist they buy them presents.
London - (Stand & Deliver News): She's said to be gobsmacked after Royal Protection Racket cops foiled a Palace abduction attempt on the mystery Eurosquillions winner. Months of secret phishing expeditions using an adapted Stuxnet virus had se...
Following last weeks revelations that Alex Reid, minnion husband of big titted Jordan, had won the Euromillions jackpot and dumped his "fishlips" missus, she has bounced back to give the actual story on how crossdresser husband "Roxanne" had "fucked...
Alex Reid has sensationally dumped Jordan, real name Katie Price, after he revealed he has won the Euromillions lottery. Alex Reid issued a statement today thanking his adoring fans for all their support but said that wife Jordan can "Go and do...
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