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Funny satire stories about London 2012

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Funny story: Ross Kemp calls for Snooker to be made Olympic Sport in 2016

Ross Kemp calls for Snooker to be made Olympic Sport in 2016

Former Eastender hardman Ross Kemp (Grant Mitchell in the soap) today called on the Olympic Committee to include snooker in the 2016 Games in Rio, Brazil. In a statement on his website Kemp explained his feelings. "Some people enjoy watching the...

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Funny story: Black gymnast Gabby Douglas stripped of gold medal!

Black gymnast Gabby Douglas stripped of gold medal!

LONDON -- Olympic gymnast Gabby Douglas has been stripped of her gold medal at the 2012 Olympic Games for "not using one's black affiliation to win a match." "Upon further review of the video footage," official Suchet Zwambi said, "we determined t...

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Funny story: Showing support at the Olympics? There's an app for that

Showing support at the Olympics? There's an app for that

In order to show support at the Olympics, it's been necessary to buy a flag for each country supported, but no longer. Lancashire applelet design company, App-N, have launched the iFlag. "I couldn't get tickets for the Olympics," said App World! e...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 2nd August 2012

Football Gossip & comments 2nd August 2012

Olympics Mens Football: GB beat Uruguay to reach quarters The team captained by Luis Suarez will now be known as UruGoingHome. Olympics Womens Football: GB beat Brazil at Wembley. The ladies showed they are as equal if not better than the men, Mainly by missing a penalty which would put them 2-0 up. The match was watched by 75,000, an incredible figure for womens football. Although hal...

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Funny story: Portuguese win gold and silver in Olympic diving

Portuguese win gold and silver in Olympic diving

Nobody was surprised to Portugal atop the podium in the Olympic diving, with Ronaldo and Nani making a clean sweep between them. Nani's dive in the twenty-five metre event was technically perfect, earning him the gold, whilst Ronald's dive lacked ele...

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Funny story: London 2012 is the XXX Olympics

London 2012 is the XXX Olympics

It was finally noticed today that the London 2012 Olympics is the thirtieth in modern times. It being modern times, Roman numerals are used. Thirty in Roman numerals is written XXX. "Oh yes," said Candi Apple, the Gymnastics organiser. "I'd not re...

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Funny story: Empty Settees due to Lack of Olympic Coverage

Empty Settees due to Lack of Olympic Coverage

The scourge of empty seats which are somewhat tarnishing the Olympics came into sharp focus again today. An Olympic watchdog has said too many settees are still far too empty. Lord Coe vented his frustrations at the eyesore he encounters when snoo...

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Funny story: Olympic flame extinguished, David Beckham loses backup flame

Olympic flame extinguished, David Beckham loses backup flame

There's the Olympic cauldron but the Olympic flame is no more. The shocking news that the Olympic flame has been extinguished and the British Olympic organizers can't light it again due to David Beckham losing the only backup flame has just been l...

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Funny story: Surprise in the Olympics at Myanmar's national anthem

Surprise in the Olympics at Myanmar's national anthem

With only six athletes at the London 2012 Olympics, nobody had any hopes that the tiny Burmese state of Myanmar would win a medal. They have, however, beaten the odds to take silver in the shooting, with Maung Kyu, 42, producing his personal best.

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Funny story: Olympic Games 2012 Controversy As Fencing Competition Thrown Out For Being Shite

Olympic Games 2012 Controversy As Fencing Competition Thrown Out For Being Shite

There was more controversy at the London 2012 Olympic Games last night when, following an earlier controversy over the result of a Women's semi-final joust between a South Korean fencer and a German fencer, the Fencing event was shelved, because it i...

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Funny story: UFO in Stratford from the Stratosphere Unimpressive

UFO in Stratford from the Stratosphere Unimpressive

When people watching the Olympics' fireworks display at the end of a tedious march of nations saw something in the evening sky, it was not a bird, a plane, nor Superman. If NBC wanted great ratings, they have apparently caught the interest of thos...

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Funny story: PM Orders More Troops To Olympic Village Following Friday's Security Breach!

PM Orders More Troops To Olympic Village Following Friday's Security Breach!

The Prime Minister has ordered two hundred additional troops to be deployed at London's Olympic Village as a result of the now confirmed breach of security there last Friday night when a black cat somehow managed to slip iundetected into the main Oly...

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Funny story: Britain applauded for filling stadiums with tiny people

Britain applauded for filling stadiums with tiny people

The British Olympic committee have been applauded by the World Equality Movement for giving over so many seats at Olympic venues to very tiny people. "We're very pleased with how many seats have been given over to people with diminished stature,"...

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Funny story: Fifty Shades of Gold for British Olympic team

Fifty Shades of Gold for British Olympic team

British Olympians were expected to have picked up at least one gold so far, with the Road Cycling team failing miserably to do so, and Rebecca Adlington also failing to earn a phone call from Cash 4UR Gold. "It's been a little disappointing," said...

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Funny story: Britain Suspends NATO Membership For Duration Of Olympics

Britain Suspends NATO Membership For Duration Of Olympics

As the world settles down to watch the London 2012 Olympic Games, the British Olympic Committee and Downing Street are staring in horror at tens of thousands of empty seats at the various sporting venues. Many sports fans have complained at the l...

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Funny story: Reasons behind NBC's decision not to live broadcast the London Olympics revealed, dramatic events ensue

Reasons behind NBC's decision not to live broadcast the London Olympics revealed, dramatic events ensue

American station NBC refuses to live broadcast the 2012 London Summer Olympic Games. Jonathan D. Miller, the President of NBC Sports, has just announced that NBC had made a calculated choice to air sport events with 6 to 8 hours delay. "Scientific...

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Funny story: Tear Up the Record Books! Olympic Levels of Crap Spouted in a Few Short Days!

Tear Up the Record Books! Olympic Levels of Crap Spouted in a Few Short Days!

It may be early days, but Britons are already toasting their heroes as it is proved, once again, that when it comes to spouting hour after hour of loud, interminable and annoying drivel, Britain is best. "We've done it!", I was told by an excited...

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