I'm going to go to the polling station and choose the least despicable of x number cynical warmongers who are bombing people in other countries in the name of their own moral charisma and divine mission, destabilising entire regions purely in the name of their petty self-interest, and deliberately and maliciously placing the wellbeing lives of UK citizens at risk... But you don't go to the pol...
New York, NY - Yes, even here in this busy epicenter of the universe, as happens every few years or so, (or how ever you people do it over there,) New Yorkers collectively learn that Britain, otherwise known as England, is currently holding elect...
I've just come back in my time machine from 8th with the election result: After a hung parliament Labour bashed out a deal with UKIP. With this new government UKIP will claim victory with Britain's independence from the European Union's 'tyranny'...
The election is coming! Please don't misread the second word and call the police on us. This is our first in a number of interviews with leading political figures in the run up to the already predetermined election in May. We spoke to king weirdo himself. Ed Miliband. We met Ed in a windowless room as the idea of seeing clouds seemed to distress him to the point where he would rock back and for...
Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government Eric Pickles is to be replaced by a dugong in the General Election. The shock history-making revelation was made in an extraordinary constituency meeting in Brentwood and Ongar yesterday. "I...
The seven largest UK political parties have announced they will partake in a tag-team death match before the results of the looming election are revealed. The event will be staged at Wembley Stadium and fights will involve key members of the Blues...
Talks have been held between a (still somewhat) cocky UKIP and a (more and more by the hour) desperate Labour Party, with a view to constructing a possible future coalition. Hopes were originally high, with optimistic and even downright ecstatica...
Ed Balls has been finding it difficult to come up with a suitable infallible authority to point the way forward for Labour's next election. Yup! He tells us that Marx and Engels are, well, a bit old hat, Stalin a bit nasty, and as for Trotsky, we...
That was today's announcement from Ed Miliband. In an all too brief interview today, he told me. "Flibbly flibbly flobbery, blibble blobble dip dop smoink." Thankfully I'd had the foresight to bring Bill from Bill & Ben and he translated. "...
Labour leader, Ed Miliband, has strenously denied attempting to court positive publicity after announcing that his latest Party Political Broadcast had been "hacked by North Korean hackers off the internet using computers". Unlike other high profi...
Following an unspectacular time as labour leader, a team of Labour MPs have lost patience with Ed Milliband. The group have flown out to Tibet to track down former favourite David Milliband. Who's last whereabouts were said to be in a Tibetan monesta...
Labour front bencher Seely Kau today expressed "regret for any offence I may have caused" after tweeting a photograph she had taken of a Rochester UKIP voter's house on which she had spray painted a phallus. Ms Kau, who lives in a £3 million house...
Westminster was reeling earlier today when the Labour Party announced that, if elected, they would be taxing glasses of water to fund the NHS. "This follows on from yesterday's TV programme, where Myleene Klass criticised our Mansion Tax proposal,...
An apology was issued today by Labour Party leader Ed Miliband. It comes after he was subjected to a slew of criticism following the release of pictures of him posing with a topless 'page 3' model. The picture, which features the model holding a s...
Ed Balls announced an end to poverty in the UK if Labour win the next election. "The Tories are always droning on and on about Labour mismanaging the economy and being responsible for the recession; O.K. it's true but it's boring. They may have b...
For a long time now Back and to the Left news have shouted and screamed at anybody who will listen that MPs are not from this planet. Finally we have proof. Or something like that. A new position has opened up in the Labour party for someone to c...
Labour leader and aardvark impersonator Ed Miliband has announced that the party will not offer a referendum on EU membership if they were to gain power, directly opposed to the current Governments promise of holding an In/Out referendum on the issue...
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