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Funny story: Report - 57% of Aristo Kids Now Carry Muskets

Report - 57% of Aristo Kids Now Carry Muskets

As knife crime grips the nation's inner cities, and gangs run amok on council estates across the country, a shocking new report has revealed how teen violence is now spreading to other social demographics. Square-jawed, ruddy-faced groups of youth...

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Funny story: New knife-crime website criticised

New knife-crime website criticised

A new 'amnesty' website aimed at reducing knife crime has attracted fierce criticism from people who criticise such things. Operated by the Metrololitan Police as a site where teenagers, hoodies and Gordon Ramsay can own up to their crimes against...

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Funny story: London Knife Fighters Unit to Be Deployed !

London Knife Fighters Unit to Be Deployed !

British war accomplishments since the defeat of the Hun over fifty years ago have been hard to come by. If you don't count their overwhelming defeat of the Falkland Island penguins, you don't have much to talk about.

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Funny story: New UK Knife Menace From Homicidal Butchers

New UK Knife Menace From Homicidal Butchers

As the UK knife-crime epidemic spirals out of control on a hour-by-hour basis, it has been sensationally revealed that the UK faces a new menace in the growing knife culture.

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Funny story: Come to Britain to Die

Come to Britain to Die

The British Tourist Board,announced that it was launching an all inclusive holiday package designed for people who wanted to die.

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Funny story: Gordon Ramsey backs youth knife culture

Gordon Ramsey backs youth knife culture

As the number of knife attacks increase in the UK, celebrity chef Gordon F Ramsey has come to the defence of youths involved.

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Funny story: Suits Of Armour Go On Sale In Harrods

Suits Of Armour Go On Sale In Harrods

The shocking rise of Knife Crime in Britain is having a direct effect on the retail sector, it has been claimed, with world-famous Harrods of London being the first retailer to introduce Suits of Armour in its Autum...

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Funny story: Knifed teen was not 'life and soul of the party' or 'loved by everyone'

Knifed teen was not 'life and soul of the party' or 'loved by everyone'

In an unusual turn of events, it was revealed that Dean Fenton, 17, of Peckham, who was stabbed to death last night in an apparent dispute outside a KFC, was not 'the life and soul of the party', 'loved by all who met him' or indeed &...

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Funny story: Teenager not stabbed in Harrogate - leaders dismayed

Teenager not stabbed in Harrogate - leaders dismayed

The scene outside the "Spinal Taps" public house in Harrogate was chaotic last night as revellers spilled onto the street to find that a teenager had not been stabbed.

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Funny story: Government Unveils 'Total Knife Ban' - Even In Kitchens

Government Unveils 'Total Knife Ban' - Even In Kitchens

The Government has today announced plans for a new and improved knife ban, after another teenager died as a result of a knife attack in London at the weekend.

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Funny story: School Finds Little Knife on Yani

School Finds Little Knife on Yani

Traylor Park, New Jersey (IP) - Seven year old Yani Finootch was walking home from school one day last month when suddenly he spotted something shiny reflecting sunlight up through the blades of grass. He had found a tiny pocket knife laying on the ground. The knife had a blade that was only a half inch long and it also had a tiny pair of scissors, a screwdriver, file, a pair of tiny tweezers, a...

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Funny story: Schools blame wi-fi technology for teenage knifings pandemic

Schools blame wi-fi technology for teenage knifings pandemic

London - (Ass Mess): Compensation payments totalling literally billions of £££ could be payable if teachers are proved right that wireless technology emissions are cooking pupils' brains and turning them into violent knife-mad killers.

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Funny story: Ginsu Introduces the Psycho Knife

Ginsu Introduces the Psycho Knife

Ginsu of Japan, makers of the famous Ginsu Knife collections, has introduced the latest addition to its culinary prepartions line. The newest kitchen tool is the "Psycho" knife.

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Funny story: Cheney to Pack "Serious Heat" for Debate with Edwards

Cheney to Pack "Serious Heat" for Debate with Edwards

Vice President will be armed with knife, handguns, possibly assault rifle, "just in case"...

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Funny story: The knife to be discontinued!

The knife to be discontinued!

Shock news on that Trevor McDonald show last night, what's it called? Well whatever it is called, the basic fact is that the humble knife, that modest kitchen utensil, is to be discontinued from production.

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