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Funny satire stories about Judges

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Funny story: Confectionery Thief Gets Life

Confectionery Thief Gets Life

A man who stole a packet of Munchies from a major UK supermarket chain will spend the rest of his life behind bars. After a somewhat unnecessary twelve day trial at the Old Bailey, David Francis, 27, was said to have committed "a deliberate and t...

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Funny story: Bolton Man Fined For Littering By Laying Flowers On Town Hall Steps - Claimed It Was A Tribute To The Victims Of Every Disaster That Ever Occurred

Bolton Man Fined For Littering By Laying Flowers On Town Hall Steps - Claimed It Was A Tribute To The Victims Of Every Disaster That Ever Occurred

Bolton man, Vernon Birch (not to be confused with the one who played the wah-wah guitar on the late Isaac Hayes' 'Theme From Shaft') was fined £50 today by Bolton magistrates after placing a bunch of cheap supermarket flowers on the town hall steps,...

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Funny story: The Ultimate Invention - a Threat to Civilization?

The Ultimate Invention - a Threat to Civilization?

A new lie detector said to be accurate to within .000001 of a percent has been hailed by many in America as a major breakthrough in crime detection. Retired CIA scientist and inventor Dr. Ralph Seemore who is currently under police protection is said...

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Funny story: Judge in Assault Trial Loses Plot... completely.

Judge in Assault Trial Loses Plot... completely.

Australia: A QUEENSLAND man has described himself as "a bit of a monster" during his trial for assault outside a Melbourne strip club that left the victim critically injured. Christopher Gibbon, 28, of Brisbane, appeared at Melbourne's Crown Cour...

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Funny story: Arizona Judge in Trouble

Arizona Judge in Trouble

The Third District Court of Appeals, in Flagstaff Arizona has come under fire for some of its inhumane methods of handing out punishment. Judge Manherd Prather recently has been sentencing some offenders to what some consider "cruel and inhuman" s...

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Funny story: Judges given new guidelines to avoid causing offence

Judges given new guidelines to avoid causing offence

Judges have been given new guidelines to ensure that they do not offend people who appear before them in court. These came to light during a recent case when a judge referred to a person as a 'gypsy'. The clerk of the court produced a document and ad...

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Funny story: Dummy's guide to being a family court judge part 2

Dummy's guide to being a family court judge part 2

Continuing our undercover investigations into the dark and seemy world of family law, here is another excerpt from the book, the Dummy's guide to being a family court judge, given to all solicitors/barristers and magistrates about to embark on their first sitting in that Alice in Wonderland world of the Family Courts... Definitions - to make your life a bit easier, we have defined some of the c...

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Funny story: Dummy's guide to being a family court judge

Dummy's guide to being a family court judge

This intrepid under-cover reporter has secretly obtained a copy of the 'Dummy's guide to being a family court judge'. This is supplied to all solicitors and barristers when they offer to do one day a week as a deputy district judge at their local county court. It is also supplied to the volunteer magistrates before they sit on family cases in the magistrates court. Excerpts include: a)...

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Funny story: "Rotten" Booze Ban Girl Told "Your Vagina Probably Stinks To High Heaven Too!"

"Rotten" Booze Ban Girl Told "Your Vagina Probably Stinks To High Heaven Too!"

A local Judge of The Mutton this morning told booze ban girl, 22 year old Heidi Hole that she represented everything that was corrupt and rotten in our society. Adding for good measure that her vagina probably stinks to high heaven too, comparing...

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Funny story: Supreme Court justice yells "Poopy Pants" at President Obama

Supreme Court justice yells "Poopy Pants" at President Obama

In what is being described as the biggest breach of protocol in memory, Justice Samuel Alito yelled out to President Obama during his State of the Union address, "Poopy Pants." As Speaker Nancy Pelosi's face contorted in horror and Vice President...

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Funny story: Victoria Beckham To Be American Idol Judge - You're Having A Laugh. Aren't You?

Victoria Beckham To Be American Idol Judge - You're Having A Laugh. Aren't You?

Unbelievable news emerging from LA indicates that failed caterwauler Victoria Beckham has been appointed as a judge on American Idol by multi-millionaire alleged slimeball Simon Cowell. Mrs Beckham will replace popular dance artiste and one time c...

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Funny story: The Secrets of Avoiding Jury Selection

The Secrets of Avoiding Jury Selection

Many people ....(what am I saying!)...Most people hate receiving a jury summons. This generally requires at least one day off work (without pay, of course), downtown traffic and parking, long lines, hurry up and wait, inadequate bathroom facilities, no convenient lunch, losing coins in vending machines, rude and/or overworked employees (city, county, state, or Federal), sitting on unpadded seats...

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Funny story: Geriatric Judge Cites Antiquated Teaching Processes, Incontinence As Motivation For Ruling

Geriatric Judge Cites Antiquated Teaching Processes, Incontinence As Motivation For Ruling

Brief argues counting change, person-to-person banking contributing to a "near antediluvian society."...

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Funny story: Supreme Thomas Proves to Be Dumb!

Supreme Thomas Proves to Be Dumb!

Judge Clarence Thomas has not spoken a word in Supreme Court proceedings in over two years. His numerous critics have deplored his appointment, by the father of the worst President ever GW Bush, as the replacement for historic First African American...

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Funny story: "Different Strokes" midget Gary Coleman becomes a Judge

"Different Strokes" midget Gary Coleman becomes a Judge

Former "Differenet Strokes" star Gary Coleman has been made a Judge. The diminutive actor admits he has no experience whatsoever but is delighted with his new position of authority.

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Funny story: Judge Orders Government to Pay $101M for Wrongful Convictions framed by George W Bush

Judge Orders Government to Pay $101M for Wrongful Convictions framed by George W Bush

Boston, Mass - (Ass Mess): US District Judge Nancy Gertner ruled today that the government must pay $101.7 million compensattion to the families of four men that George W Bush framed along with bent FBI agents for the 1965 gangland murder of Edward D...

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Funny story: U.S. Judge Admits Unfair System

U.S. Judge Admits Unfair System

New York, New York (IP) - An interview with an off duty judge has revealed what many have suspected: there have been two standards of justice in effect for as long as there have been courts.

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