Saltzburg, Austria - Elvis has left the dungeon! In a search of dungeon-master Josef Fritzl's holiday house in the Austrian city of Saltzburg, police have found rock and roll king Elvis Aaron Presley, pale but apparently well.
With a fall in the ratings at the hands of EastEnders on the cards, Coronation Street has pulled a fast one by engaging the services of Austrian Josef Fritzl as new cellar man at the Rover's Return.
Amstetten - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): An image of a weeping, shackled Madonna has appeared on the living room window of Austrian incest nutter Joseph Fritlz's hellhole house.
Rudolf Munchenfurburger, lawyer of Austrian sicko and convicted rapist, Josef 'Mengele' Fritzl, has claimed his client is mentally ill. This crushes the previous public perception that Fritzl was just a nice old boy being a tad 'over prot...
Amstetten - (Ass Mess): Parish records indicate that Austrian incest nutter Joseph Fritzl originally came from Fucking.
Amstetten, Austria - (Reuterus): Police are probing reports that a mysterious Opus Dei midwife attended the birth of all seven of Austrian incest nutter Joseph Fritzl's chidlren's dungeon births.
Amstetten - (Reuterus): Military sonar equipment has detected a massive World War II Colditz-style tunnel network under Austrian incest nutter Joseph Fritzl's subterranean dungeon hellhole.
Amstetten - (Preposterious Mess): Austrian incest nutter Joseph Fritzl's wife has hired lawyers who successfully sued a UK satirical rag that claimed the Yorkshire Ripper's wife "wasn't as dumb as she looks" back in 1990.
Amstetten, Austria - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): An omerta style wall of silence has descended on Amstetten CID amid press speculation that the eldest grandchild of incest nutter Joseph Fritzl is herself pregnant.
London - (Excavation Mess): Specialist UK fascist builder The London Abasement Company has been identified as project manager behind the subterranean erection of both Max Mosley's London Nazi S&M orgy cellar as well as Austrian nutter Jo...
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