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Funny satire stories about John Terry

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Funny story: Chelsea players refuse to shake hands with John Terry!

Chelsea players refuse to shake hands with John Terry!

In the wake of the racist scandal the game between QPR and Chelsea started off in a very strange manner. Chelsea players lined up to shake hands with their QPR opponents, which all went well. After they shook hands John Terry offered his hand to h...

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Funny story: Africa Cup of Nations: John Terry flies in to shake hands with players

Africa Cup of Nations: John Terry flies in to shake hands with players

John Terry made a dramatic flight to Africa last night in a bid to clear his name of racism. Terry will appear before the CPS this week after an incident in October when Chelsea played QPR where tv cameras showed him mouthing something towards Ant...

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Funny story: QPR refuse to bite Chelsea bullet.

QPR refuse to bite Chelsea bullet.

Anton Ferdinand has been sent a recently fired bullet in the post, less than 24 hours before Queens Park Rangers' FA Cup tie against Chelsea. The Metropolitan Police confirmed that they had investigated a sinister package which...

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Funny story: FA Cup Chelsea v QPR: John Terry to wear armband - over mouth

FA Cup Chelsea v QPR: John Terry to wear armband - over mouth

QPR are beefing up security for their FA Cup tie against Chelsea, where Anton Ferdinand and John Terry are set to come face to face. However Chelsea have plans to a avoid further trouble on the pitch by instructing their skipper to wear an armban...

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Funny story: Macclesfield Town striker Ben Mills shocked by pro set-up

Macclesfield Town striker Ben Mills shocked by pro set-up

Macclesfield striker Benjy Mills says he is shocked by the amount of free time he now has after turning professional. The 22-year-old joined from non-league side Nantwich Town last week and made his debut in the 2-1 defeat by Torquay. "It's cer...

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Funny story: John Terry to move back into Barking council house

John Terry to move back into Barking council house

The mysterious finances of Chelsea skipper John Terry took another twist last night when he and his family moved back to the area where he was born - straight into a four bed council house. The 'stun' newspaper revealed he remortgaged his home in...

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Funny story: John Terry's face being used on Indian cigarette packets

John Terry's face being used on Indian cigarette packets

Representatives of John Terry are taking legal advice after an image resembling the footballer appeared on cigarette packs in India. The photograph of a blurred head and pale torso appears above the words SMOKING CIGARETTES CAN LEAD TO BEING CAPTA...

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Funny story: India choose John Terry as their health ambassador!

India choose John Terry as their health ambassador!

India has chosen super-clean Chelsea star and super-monogamist (monogamy is classified as very healthy in India), John Terry, as their health ambassador for 2012. The Indian ministry for sport and health chose John because of his upstanding morals an...

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Funny story: Paul Scholes: John Terry called me Gingernut

Paul Scholes: John Terry called me Gingernut

John Terry is in even more hot water as Paul Scholes has come forward to pour more scorn on the beleaguered footballer with the announcement that Terry called Scholes a Gingernut. "It was when United played Chelsea at Stamford Bridge," said Schole...

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Funny story: Joey Barton, Robbie Savage and John Terry pay tribute to Socrates

Joey Barton, Robbie Savage and John Terry pay tribute to Socrates

The football world was left dazed and confused this week after the untimely death of the legendary philosopher Socrates. Born in 469 BC, Socrates was named after the charismatic footballer Socrates who captained Brazil in the 1982 and 1986 World...

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Funny story: Amateur Lip Reader Hired For John Terry Racism Row

Amateur Lip Reader Hired For John Terry Racism Row

An amateur lip reader was been hired to try his best to work out what he said to QPR defender Anton Ferdinand after the former Sunderland and West Ham man accused him of racism. After the amateur lip reader had studied the conversation, this is the dialogue he discovered it to say: Anton Samuel Isaac Ferdinand (ASIF): Hat did yo juss call me? John Anthony Max Matthew Youssouf Gerald Isia...

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Funny story: John Terry finally apologises?

John Terry finally apologises?

John Terry came forward today to make an apologetic statement regarding the race row that has torn football apart. "I am deeply sorry, for the upset I have caused over the alleged racial comments I might, or might not have made. My conduct has cau...

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Funny story: Manager says he did hear Terry call Ferdinand a 'black c##t'

Manager says he did hear Terry call Ferdinand a 'black c##t'

The manager of the London Wetlands Centre admitted today that he overheard Terry the bird feeder call Ferdinand the Eurasion Coot a 'black c##t'. 'I was shocked' said Mr Warnock who has managed the bird sanctuary in West London for 2 years. 'I can...

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Funny story: John Terry denies having a porcupine on his head

John Terry denies having a porcupine on his head

John Terry has categorically denied having a porcupine on his head during Chelsea's shock defeat at QPR. In a carefully worded statement, John Terry told a reporter "It's not a fucking porcupine you cunt." The FA are investigating the porcupi...

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Funny story: Footballers too stupid to understand concept of racism, report finds

Footballers too stupid to understand concept of racism, report finds

Premier league footballers are to be exonerated for their verbal controversies following the revelation that they are too inherently stupid to understand the literary connotations of what makes a given combination of words racist, a new study has fou...

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Funny story: John Terry denies making intelligent comment

John Terry denies making intelligent comment

Chelsea skipper John Terry has insisted he did not make an intelligent comment during Chelsea's comprehensive defeat by a classy and witty QPR team at Loftus Road yesterday. Videos posted on the internet claim to show JT mouthing the words "Nietzs...

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Funny story: Harry Redknapp bites Didier Drogba's hand off

Harry Redknapp bites Didier Drogba's hand off

Didier Drogba has "got the hump" with Chelsea and has has told manager Andre Villas-Boas that he needs to join a club where footballers "speak proper." The Ivory Coast International has demanded a move to Tottenham and wants to be coached in Cockn...

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