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Funny satire stories about John Kerry

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Funny story: UN Inspectors' Report to Confirm Illicit Use of Wig by John Kerry

UN Inspectors' Report to Confirm Illicit Use of Wig by John Kerry

A long-awaited UN report expected next week will "overwhelmingly" confirm that US Secretary of State John Kerry makes use of a wig, the secretary general Ban Ki-moon says. Mr. Ban Ki-moon made no comment on who was to blame for the Washington envo...

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Funny story: John Kerry explains

John Kerry explains

London, England. On a flying visit to to the "Old Dart", US Secretary of State John Kerry has been commenting on the Syrian crisis and the expectation that America will strike at Syrian targets to bring the civil war to a close. One journalist ask...

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Funny story: "Trust us!" with forefinger held high and a whole lot of churning going on

"Trust us!" with forefinger held high and a whole lot of churning going on

It is an absolute rule of administrations throughout the universe that "Trust us!" and the raised forefinger indicate a whole lot of churning going on inside the political brain. Trust me, on this, your roving reporter Pepe Warezabar trotting the globe into its nefarious and terrible hotspots. Once again I landed amidst a bubbling soup of world politics, this time in London at Club Divisad...

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Funny story: John Kerry gives Syria the 'Evil Eye'

John Kerry gives Syria the 'Evil Eye'

Washington, DC - Finding little support for his administration's plan to punish Syria, US Secretary of State John Kerry is taking matters into his own face. The former Senator is activating his evil eye against the regime of Bashar al-Assad in r...

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Funny story: Lunatic of the Year Award

Lunatic of the Year Award

Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Korean dictator Kim Jong Un are the top two contenders for the Lunatic of the Year Award presented by the Nobal Friends of Bedlam. The NFB was created by several eccentric members of the Nobal Peace Prize Com...

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Funny story: Kim Jung-Un Willing To Spare LA For Laker Tickets Next To Jack Nicholson

Kim Jung-Un Willing To Spare LA For Laker Tickets Next To Jack Nicholson

BILLINGSGATE POST - If anyone wonders why Dennis Rodman was granted access to North Korean President Kim Jung-Un, we now know the answer. After making headlines yesterday with his warning that his nuclear missiles are bore-sighted on Los Angeles...

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Funny story: Secretary of State John Kerry: C'Mon man! You must be kidding!

Secretary of State John Kerry: C'Mon man! You must be kidding!

Why should Senator John Kerry be appointed Secretary of State? When he made his run for the presidency against Dubya it was pointed out that if Kerry were to be elected president, America would be just one nut away from having a chipmunk (John Edwards) in the White House. While BILLINGSGATE does not wish to offend members of the genera Tamias and Eutamias species, it is not only Dr. B who has not...

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Funny story: President Obama Diagnosed With Terminal Chicken Lips

President Obama Diagnosed With Terminal Chicken Lips

BILLINGSGATE POST - Being diagnosed as having chicken lips could possibly spell disaster for the incumbent president. As Foghorn Leghorn, who also has chicken lips, so eloquently stated to his friends, Barnyard Dawg and Henery the baby chicken hawk,...

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Funny story: Obama Plans To Tax Infants To Balance Budget: Tax On Tots (TOTS)

Obama Plans To Tax Infants To Balance Budget: Tax On Tots (TOTS)

BILLINGSGATE POST: Last night at the Democratic Convention, President Obama unveiled his plan to cut the 16 trillion dollar deficit by doing something no other president has dared: Taxing infants as they leave their mother's womb. Saying that, "...

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Funny story: John Kerry not sure what he will do with all his money

John Kerry not sure what he will do with all his money

Washington--John Kerry is really rich and not sure what he should do with all his wealth. Should he give it to the poor, find ways to get the economy going by investing it, or find creative ways to shelter his income from the evil IRS? "I joined t...

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Funny story: Obama Dispatches John Kerry and Jane Fonda to Lay Wreath for Osama; Patch Pakistan Relations!

Obama Dispatches John Kerry and Jane Fonda to Lay Wreath for Osama; Patch Pakistan Relations!

Following an outcry from the government of Pakistan over the stealth incursion into the country resulting in the demise of the World's Most Wanted Terrorist, President Barack Obama announced his intention to "make amends" by dispatching Viet Nam Era...

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Funny story: Curt Shilling to Dem Senator Who Questioned 2004 "Bloody Sock" Win: I Can Tell You for Sure it Wasn't Ketchup!"

Curt Shilling to Dem Senator Who Questioned 2004 "Bloody Sock" Win: I Can Tell You for Sure it Wasn't Ketchup!"

Boston Red Sox hero Curt Shilling was the victim again of misinformed Democratic politicians as a former US Rhode Island Senator now running for Governor questioned Shillings famous "Bloody Sock" victory in 2004 while slamming RI for granting a loa...

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Funny story: John Kerry Denied Request for 4th Purple Heart after Wounds Surrounding Tax Battle Over his $7m Yacht Turns Out to be Ketchup!

John Kerry Denied Request for 4th Purple Heart after Wounds Surrounding Tax Battle Over his $7m Yacht Turns Out to be Ketchup!

Massachusetts Senator John "Swiftie" Kerry suffered yet another 'war wound' after it was discovered his $7M yacht, built in Australia, and berthed in Rhode Island, would not be taxed in Massachusetts, his official residence, sparking tax payer outrag...

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Funny story: Madman in number ten

Madman in number ten

A madman known as Mad Marty Morrison was today sectioned under section 4 of the mental health act. Marty was taken away from outside number ten downing street for causing a disturbance. He was sectioned as an emergency case under section 4 of the...

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Funny story: Kerry Downsizes!

Kerry Downsizes!

Kerry Katona the former pop star that recently brought Iceland to its kness and ruined it's economy has been forced to downsize. She has moved herself, her mother and umpteen children into a small flat over the "Wun Hung Lo" Cantonese takeaway on...

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Funny story: Kerry Katona on Ice - Chicago Pimp outbids Colombians for Katona's Services!

Kerry Katona on Ice - Chicago Pimp outbids Colombians for Katona's Services!

Just as the nation of Colombia thought it'd captured the services of Kerry Katona, a distant relative of Barrack Obama, a Pimp Daddy, formally known as "Omar Dimples the Third" has put in a higher counter bid for her services! Omar would only giv...

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Funny story: Kerry Katona to be new "Nose of Colombia"!

Kerry Katona to be new "Nose of Colombia"!

Former pop star, reality star, shopping star, star Mum, Evening star and Star of Wilmslow, fat bird Kerry Katona has been sensationally revealed as the new "Nose of Colombia"! In a brilliantly timed turn of fortune, Katona has managed to find a lu...

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