A green light was signaled earlier today, clearing the way for the House and Senate to take a vote on the controversial suspicion of whether or not Frank Sinatra is or isn't the father of Mia Farrow's son, Ronan, born while she was the inamorata of f...
Anonymous NSA sources are now revealing the latest surveillance deep inside an old textbook building where current tea party aficionados are planning strategy. The nature of this surveillance is not clear although deployment of tiny insect drones...
With the recent success in shutting down the government, the "gang of thirty" tea party members who are currently steering the GOP decided to celebrate. They dispersed to the home of one of their benefactors with its three swimming pools and sund...
Harry Reid, the Democratic Senate Majority leader, recently delivered a series of blistering attacks from the Senate floor on his Republican colleagues. "They are anarchists," Reid was quoted as saying, "because they hate government. And hating gover...
Washington, DC - Come on down. It's time to play "America's Got Congress" --television's first ever legislative quiz show. That's the battle cry you'll hear every weekday afternoon, thanks to a new law that turned the Senate and the House of Repr...
Special to TPN - Following a meeting described as "amicable," Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and John Boehner (R-OH) announced that Congress will adjourn until after the 2016 election cycle. Pelosi opened a joint news conference by saying, "We both felt th...
Steely blue eyes ablaze with conviction, Speaker of the House John Boehner (R - Ohio) expresses the will of the American People. In virtually every speech, the phrase "the American People want" passes his righteous lips with prophetic certainty and...
This week GOP politicians, led by House Speaker Mr. Boehner and his conservative colleagues, will use a stunning new technique in an effort to further persuade congress and the American people on the wisdom of shutting down the government. An ent...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama said that he is thrilled that the NFL football season is finally here. The commander-in-chief talked with Rufus Reno of Sports Balls Illustrated Daily and said that there is nothing he likes better than betting o...
A new whistleblower from Booz Allen Hamilton has emerged to offer insights into game-playing habits of congressional leaders. This development occurred yesterday after Senator McCain was caught playing poker on his iPhone during a three and a hal...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The First Lady was asked how she thinks her hometown Chicago Bears are going to do in the NFL this year. She smiled and said that she has a real good feeling about the team. She pointed out that she had met with several players...
APALACHICOLA, Fla. - House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) today signed into a long-term Alzheimer's center long-established Arizona Senator John McCain. When asked why he did it, the terse and taciturn Boehner quipped, "It was a Republican thing to do.
WASHINGTON, D.C.--After tweeting, "Fuck it! My wife's toy poodle could get more done with these guys than I can!", the besieged Speaker of the House stepped down on Friday to allow his wife's toy poodle, Knuckles, to take over as Majority Leader.
Washington, DC -- America is about to pay a high price for its love affair with its five favorite letters. The vowels -- A,E,I,O,U -- have become so popular that there aren't enough of them to go around, according to a recently published FB* report.
Speaker John Boehner took to the floor of the US House of Representatives this morning demanding the immediate arrest and extradition of Edward Snowden from Russia. He also demanded an immediate trial and execution of Snowden as a traitor to the coun...
Washington DC -- With the nation trembling from recent threats by film critics, pressure cooker salesmen, wise guy journalists and wanna-be movie stars, enforcement agencies are demanding greater authority to monitor and control America. Meanwhile...
Washington, DC -- The Obama Administration's top lawman has officially arrested the entire population of the United States. In an unprecedented Justice Department directive, Attorney General Eric Holder outlined a plan to imprison every American...
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