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Funny satire stories about Joey Barton

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Funny story: Arsene Wenger wants to hire Joey Barton's smoking gun

Arsene Wenger wants to hire Joey Barton's smoking gun

Gunners' boss Arsene Wenger has turned up the heat on football fugitive Joey Barton. Rumours are circulating the North London underworld that 'Frenchie' Wenger has sent a Michael Caine lookalike up to Newcastle with instructions to "Get Joey."...

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Funny story: Friedrich Nietzsche gets respect from Joey Barton

Friedrich Nietzsche gets respect from Joey Barton

Alienated Newcastle footballer Joey Barton has been tweeting fans on Twitter about his "total respect" for German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. Barton has told his 170,000 readers that the author of Beyond Good And Evil was "a real nutter" who...

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Funny story: Joey Barton sparks George Orwell ruck on Twitter

Joey Barton sparks George Orwell ruck on Twitter

Scouse philosopher Joey Barton has the moral support of fellow troublemaker George Orwell in his war of words with Newcastle Football Club. George Orwell's dictum that "In times of universal deceit, telling the truth will be a revolutionary act"...

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Funny story: Joey Barton "I'm innocent!"

Joey Barton "I'm innocent!"

Joey Barton has hit back at accusations that he is a thug and should not be allowed on a football field after allegedly "punching" Blackburn's Morten Gamst Pederson last night at St James Park. "There was a fly on his shirt so I swatted...

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Funny story: Joey Barton to Fight Manny Pacquiao

Joey Barton to Fight Manny Pacquiao

Joey Barton, banned from the Newcastle team for the rest of the season, is to fight Manny Pacquiao. He told reporters he "just wants to smack the little shit for giving his mate Ricky Hatton a good shoeing". "Anyone who punches a mate of mine is...

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Funny story: Alan Shearer targets Joey Barton for punishment

Alan Shearer targets Joey Barton for punishment

Reports are indicating that Newcastle temporary manager Alan "Niceguy" Shearer has already handed out some notable punishment to Joey Barton following his sending off against Liverpool. It is an interesting turn of events, as given his nice guy im...

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Funny story: Barton Blames Hatton

Barton Blames Hatton

Newcastle United badboy Joey Barton has lay the blame for his extraordinary and unnecessary challenge on Liverpool's Xabi Alonso at Anfield yesterday, squarely at the door of his friend and fellow Manchester City fan, Ricky Hatton. Hatton was beat...

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Funny story: Joey Barton To Face New Disciplinary Charges

Joey Barton To Face New Disciplinary Charges

Joey Barton, the Newcastle United midfielder and ex-lag, is to be further disciplined after incidents in the Newcastle v. Aston Villa match on Monday, during which, the player spat, sneezed, coughed, cleared his throat, belched and farted. He was...

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Funny story: Kevin Keegan Secures New Post Holding Joey Barton's Coat

Kevin Keegan Secures New Post Holding Joey Barton's Coat

There was better news today for the ex-Toon hero Kevin Keegan when, after having resigned from the Newcastle United manager's job last week, he was offered a new job: Holding Joey Barton's Coat. Barton, still a player at United, albeit with a six-...

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Funny story: Keegan Sacked Over Joey Barton Birthday Party

Keegan Sacked Over Joey Barton Birthday Party

Kevin Keegan, the sacked Newcastle United manager, lost his job over his loyalty in jailed midfielder Joey Barton, it has been claimed, with the Messiah having organised a birthday party for the Scouse lout this morning. Barton, 26 today, recently...

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Funny story: Barton Boys Spring Barton

Barton Boys Spring Barton

Some of those loveable little urchins last seen on panorama getting high and packing heat. Have in what is being described as an event you did not need a crystal ball to see, sprung pal joey from the big house, were he was imprisoned for take away fo...

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Funny story: Joey Barton Swaps Football For Boxing

Joey Barton Swaps Football For Boxing

Joey Barton, the Newcastle United player who was found guilty on Monday of assaulting one of his ex-teammates whilst he was at Manchester City, has decided to give up playing football, and to turn, instead, to boxing. Barton assaulted a player who...

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Funny story: Joey Barton Escapes From Prison

Joey Barton Escapes From Prison

Joey Barton, the Newcastle United and England boxer who was given a 6-month jail sentence in May, has escaped from prison just weeks after being incarcerated.

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Funny story: Joey Barton Turns To God

Joey Barton Turns To God

Joey Barton, the Newcastle United and England boxer, is a reformed character and, according to his manager, Sir Kevin Keegan, has "turned to God".

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Funny story: "I'll carry on fighting" claims Barton

"I'll carry on fighting" claims Barton

Fans fearing that Joey Barton's football could get in the way of his fighting career were more relaxed today after the Scouse Scrapper pledged to carry on fighting.

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Funny story: Joey Barton Charged With Exposing Himself

Joey Barton Charged With Exposing Himself

Footballer and hatchet man Joey Barton has been charged with 'exposing himself' by police, after he displayed his backside following a match at Everton last season. A lesser...

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Funny story: Troubled Barton's clothes not fresh - "Inconsolable," say pals

Troubled Barton's clothes not fresh - "Inconsolable," say pals

To many he's the mote in the black eye of the unacceptable face of football, but friends of Joey Barton have portrayed an altogether gentler side of the wild man of Manchester City this week.

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