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Funny satire stories about Jesus

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Funny story: Jesus bans chrissy chocolate sales in August in UK supermarkets!

Jesus bans chrissy chocolate sales in August in UK supermarkets!

Several UK supermarkets feel it is quite proper to flog chrissy choccies in AUGUST! Yes people, August! However, after the chrissy choccies were spotted on the shelves several customers thought it was quite disgraceful to sell chrissy products in sum...

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Funny story: "Jesus And His Disciples Were Scottish", Claims Historian

"Jesus And His Disciples Were Scottish", Claims Historian

A leading amateur historian has astonished the world of amateur history by claiming that Jesus of Nazareth and his Disciples were Scottish, writes Religion Correspondent, Mary Mag Delaney. Jock McSporran of Lossiemouth, for it is he, made the asto...

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Funny story: Review of Bethlehem Motel 24th December by Joseph

Review of Bethlehem Motel 24th December by Joseph

TripAdvisor Review of Bethlehem Motel - 24th December -0001 We stayed at the Bethlehem Motel for one night on 24th December and wish we'd never bothered!! I should have known better with just a single star above the hotel sign. I was shattered and really just needed a place to rest my ass and heavily pregnant fiancée for the night. When we arrived the Motel owner told us we were in luck as h...

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Funny story: Jesus comes back to reteach America the Golden Rule. President Trump declares message "Fake News"

Jesus comes back to reteach America the Golden Rule. President Trump declares message "Fake News"

After getting sick of his Facebook feed being flooded with decisive rhetoric and partisan clickbait Jesus, the Son of God, decided to come back to earth early. He originally attempted to just post the Golden Rule on His Facebook page, but it ended u...

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Funny story: Trump Travel Ban Nets Jesus and Mohammed

Trump Travel Ban Nets Jesus and Mohammed

POTUS Donald Trump's latest executive order limiting travelers from 7 Middle Eastern countries has had dramatic and immediate effects and for some of the most high-profile celebrities on earth. Aside from doctors, lawyers, translators, mothers, fathe...

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Funny story: Jesus Stands by His People, Makes Sure Black Lives Matter in Birmingham

Jesus Stands by His People, Makes Sure Black Lives Matter in Birmingham

Jesus found himself in the news again, this time in Birmingham, Alabama, the cradle of the Civil Rights movement. The Savior vowed to stand by His "people" until the "White Devils," as he called them, stopped physically harassing them as they did at...

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Funny story: "I was Trump before Trump." A Chat with Lucifer, the Prince of Darkness, in The End Times

"I was Trump before Trump." A Chat with Lucifer, the Prince of Darkness, in The End Times

Lucifer, Satan, The Devil, The Deceiver, The Prince of Darkness, Azazel, Beelzebub or even Dick Cheney - whatever you choose to call him, the leader of the Legions of Darkness has come here to say one simple thing: "Please, call me Lu. Everyone calls...

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Funny story: Jesus and the No-So-Immaculate Conception

Jesus and the No-So-Immaculate Conception

Since coming out of retirement earlier this year to manage the End Times, Jesus has branded himself as a regular fixture on the club-and-bar scene, drawing attention with his wild drinking and his late-night romps with females and some males who simp...

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Funny story: Marble Bust Found in Tomb of Jesus

Marble Bust Found in Tomb of Jesus

In the first excavations of the newly discovered tomb of Jesus a marble bust and a missing chapter of the Gospel of St. Thomas have been found. The bust, according to the accompanying text is that of none other than Jesus. It bears a strong likeness...

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Funny story: Authorities Called to Governor Pence's Mansion

Authorities Called to Governor Pence's Mansion

A host of authorities were called to 4750 North Meridian Avenue, Indianapolis, the governor's mansion, after a neighbor grew concerned over a raging fire, excessive smoke and an odd scent of burning flesh and hair. "The governor (Vice President to...

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Funny story: Jesus Comes Out of the Closet … Or Does He?

Jesus Comes Out of the Closet … Or Does He?

What a week it has been for the Son of the Almighty. Tuesday, Jesus himself was seen at the Tampa's infamous The Honey Pot night club, a night spot known for its super-hot drag show. A copy of Jesus's bar tab reveals he and his "posse" of Lucif...

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Funny story: Cubs Win World Series; Christ Returns to Earth

Cubs Win World Series; Christ Returns to Earth

CLEVELAND--In a move Vatican officials are calling "purely coincidental," to the Chicago Cubs' victory in the World Series, Jesus Christ, Son of God and Savior of Humanity, left His place at the right hand of the Father early Thursday morning, and ha...

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Funny story: Drinking with Jesus

Drinking with Jesus

Jesus wiped the neck of his Heineken bottle with a damp napkin. "You people down here," he explained as He scrubbed the bottle vigorously, "are pretty disgusting. I mean, you guys really these plagues get out of hand." When he thought it was sufficiently clean, he took a long swig of the beer and slammed the bottle on the bar, sighed heavily and then said, "Damn I needed that! I got friggen dr...

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Funny story: Jesus Makes a Confession: " I messed up…"

Jesus Makes a Confession: " I messed up…"

In a late afternoon press conference, Jesus made a shocking confession: "I screwed up." "I don't get to say that very often, but remember that I'm only mostly divine, you know? Nobody's perfect - well, except my dad. The Creator rarely messes up,...

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Funny story: Nice painting "Looks Like Jesus"

Nice painting "Looks Like Jesus"

"Well, I bought the painting a couple of weeks ago at a garage sale over on Glen drive" explained 56-year-old Martha Flanagan amidst the throng of neighbors and pilgrims in front of her home on Kenmore rd. "I thought it was a nice colorful painting...

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Funny story: Archaeologists unearth Jesus' wank flannel

Archaeologists unearth Jesus' wank flannel

It has been hailed as the greatest religious artefact since the Turin shroud. Biblical archaelogists digging in Montana, USA, believe they have found the cloth that Jesus Christ used to mop up his masturbatory ejaculations. Some scholars have ques...

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Funny story: First Charisma Awards Competition

First Charisma Awards Competition

Hiram Grabbit of Los Angeles PR firm, LUXIFER INC., has set up what could be a global, national contest to rival Miss World and The Oscars. Luxifer has, in the past, worked closely with Scratchi and Scratchi of London in the business of cultivat...

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