Aging schoolboy and petrol head Jeremy Clarkson who presents BBC's 'Top Gear' programme featuring cars no ordinary bloke can afford has been offered a contract by French tyre manufacturer Michelin to promote the brand in Britain. Initially, Clarkson, who likes his food, thought it was for a rôle also as a restaurant critic for their popular guides. i.e. a free lunch. Thus he would get to drive...
Indian inventor, A.K. Vishwinath has joined up with Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson with the invention of a car that flies. The vertical lift off, achieved through rotating blades designed by bumble bees who have studied mathematics for years,...
Non related Comedians Alan and Jimmy Carr are said to be in talks to take over the hosting of popular show Top Gear. A spokesman told me: 'We are desperately trying to save money, and appeal to new audiences for all of our shows. We are intereste...
Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May will return for a new series of Top Gear in the New Year, but the popular motoring magazine show will be the subject of severe budget cuts. "We will not be replacing the Stig," said show producer Morr...
Tony Blair's odious and self serving stories seek to show us why he was an inspiring national leader, idealist, radical, reformer, without sacrificing his natural decency and humanity, but just end up making him look a bit of a git, according to one...
In a decision sure to shock Top Gear fans, ex PM Tony Bliar is to reveal the secret identity of the mysterious driver known as the Stig. Fat balding presenter, Jeremy Clarkson intoned " It is truly unbelievable. I can forgive him for Iraq and lyin...
He is known for his outspoken views on just about every topic under the sun and a favourite to be found under The Suns headlines for his controversial opinions on everything from the Welsh to Burkas. There is no stopping him when he gets a bee in his...
Jeremy Clarkson has found himself in trouble with The Welsh again after making a speech to recently graduated students of Chester University. It is alleged that during his talk on, "tolerance within media," Clarkson suddenly remarked, "Your pract...
Having exhausted the number of people and ideas to shit on, the hound dog faced petrol head has just launched a new service for Glastonbury revellers. When the rain and mud has peaked, for a small fee, he will personally come along and piss in yo...
The new Dr Who, Matt Smith, is to appear on the television series Who Do You Think You Are, which is a genealogy programme that traces back peoples family tree which usually results in some surprising results. Former Dr Who David Tennant, was prev...
The "Top Gear" trio of twats, Hammond, May and Clarkson are not happy chappies. Shouting, as usual, Hammond, who makes up for his petiteness by shouting louder than anyone else declared, "This can't be right, these stranded tourists have got better s...
BBC, Top Gear, reports with regret the hospitalisation of Mr Jeremy Clarkson, chief dumbass presenter and almost loudest shouter. Hammond, loudest presenter, (for that is how he is addressed by his public school colleagues) is unable to go on alone.
Having been voted the nation's favourite programme of the decade, it may come as a surprise that the series will cease to exist after 2012. The main issue is funding; not only are the presenters, Jeremy Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond paid o...
Jeremy Clarkson, the high-profile presenter of 'Top Gear', has created controversy yet again - this time by masturbating into the glove compartment of a car belonging to a female guest of the show. The incident, which happened after filming had fi...
Miss Fanny Walker, from Sleaford in Lincolnshire has revealed exclusively to this paper that she was once fingered by TV Prankster Jeremy Beadle. "It was when I was 19 that it happened for the first time", recounted Miss Walker. "I met Jeremy aft...
Top Gear presenter and testosterone-fuelled TV hardman Jeremy Clarkson has revealed today that he is to become a lesbian. The shock announcement will stun his army of adoring female fans who hang on every macho word he utters on the eponymous TV p...
Doncaster, England - Jeremy Clarkson has played down a recent dumping incident, calling his critics "silly little girls", according to my source, Buckwheatsbutt's mother. In the most recent incident, Jeremy dumped a pile of his manure on the drive...
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