London, England. Her Majesty The Queen has been admitted to hospital after eating dodgy meatballs that were later verified as being made from horse meat. Doctors claimed that Her Maj microwaved the suspect foods before consumption and ate them with a...
LONDON - Brompton Boxgrove, a reporter with Britain's Tickety Boo News, has just reported that merry olde England has just opened up a brand new fast food establishment. Boxgrove reports that The Giddy Up Diner has just opened for business in the...
A leading fish 'n' chip shop has admitted that portions of fried fish were heavily contaminated with traces of sea-horse. The supply of fish was obtained from parts of the North Sea - which links up with France, Holland and Scandinavia. Icelan...
A horse has been found with 60% beef in it. Which technically makes it a cow but the animal is very confused. It has raised concern over how many other horses are infact cows and therefore potentially contaminating our favourite foods. Consume...
Tesco, Findus, Aldi and other food suppliers named in the recent horsemeat revelations, today formed a consortium to try to re-establish confidence in their beef products, and to put the meat-contamination scandal behind them. 'We do not wish to b...
Tesco has shut down its Richard III outlet in Leicester after horse DNA was found in the remains of the last Planted King. The Food Standards Agency, who missed the DNA finding due to cutbacks, advised anyone who had bought Richard III steaks (at...
LONDON - A representative with Britain's Burger Bureau has reported that tests have shown that traces of horse meat have been found in some Burger King burgers. According to The Ta Ta For Now News Agency equine DNA in the form of M&M size mors...
Super market giant Tesco today admitted that one of their prime value beef burgers had been found inside a horse. The horse named Billy after William Shakespeare, was today undergoing intensive surgery to remove the burger which had lodged in its sto...
Washington DC - In a desparate attempt to avoid banishment and deportation, Romney has switched his position once again. Rather than spouting "I stand by what I said what ever it was", he is saying "I reject what I said what ever it was." Other s...
WELLINGTON, New Zealand (ABSNN) - A court in this New Zealand city ruled today that "this country is a Horseshit Free Zone." The ruling came on the heels of the arrest of an anti-monarchist, Sam Bracanov, a seventy-six year old man who made it c...
NEW YORK CITY - Lindsay Lohan seems to attract trouble wherever she goes. Hollywood Innuendo's Fajita San Guacamole stated that Lindsay could be sitting in a convent having dinner with a bunch of nuns and she would probably be accused of spiking...
Washington DC - Aunt Jemima held a brief press conference today. She announced that she would no longer agree to be Gaston's pick for Vice President of the United States of America. "I's no way gunna serve no pancakes with crappy aspartame syrup.
It was finally noticed today that the London 2012 Olympics is the thirtieth in modern times. It being modern times, Roman numerals are used. Thirty in Roman numerals is written XXX. "Oh yes," said Candi Apple, the Gymnastics organiser. "I'd not re...
Loveable, laughable, but not laudable, buffoon and mayor of London, Boris Johnson has admitted that with only days left before the Olympics is due to begin, that they completely forgot about the equestrian events. "What can I say?" said Boris, sou...
LARAMIE, Wyoming - Anderson Cooper, host of CNN's Anderson Cooper 360 has finally done a 360 and revealed that he had finally decided to step out of the "Closet." Cooper was vacationing in Laramie, Wyoming on the Hopalong Cassidy Commemorative Dud...
The 2012 Grand National was won by a horse, we can sensationally reveal, in a nail biting race which went right to the finish line. The horse, a grey one, came first over forty other horses to win the world renowned National Hunt handicap steeplechas...
Swayne O'Garrett, the UK's last surviving cowboy, has sensationally hung up his spurs, as a run of bad luck left him 'tormented and disillusioned'. O'Garrett became a talking point around his home town of Dudley, West Midlands, after parading the...
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