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Funny satire stories about Herman Cain

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Funny story: Comedienne Chelsea Handler Says She Does Not Remember Ever Groping Herman Cain

Comedienne Chelsea Handler Says She Does Not Remember Ever Groping Herman Cain

WEST HOLLYWOOD - It appears that Chelsea Handler has entered into her denial mode as she told reporters that the stories about her groping Herman Cain are sheer fabrications fabricated by a lonely individual. Handler said that she cannot even reme...

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Funny story: Now Romney Declares His Sexual Harassment By Cain

Now Romney Declares His Sexual Harassment By Cain

In another shocking turn of events promising to further mess up the primary field, former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney has come forward with allegations that Republican frontrunner and former Godfather's Pizza czar, Herman Cain, sexually harass...

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Funny story: Herman Cain - "I Have No Memory of Ever Being the Head of the National Restaurant Association"

Herman Cain - "I Have No Memory of Ever Being the Head of the National Restaurant Association"

Washington - In response to new allegations of sexual misconduct while the head of the National Restaurant Association, GOP presidential hopeful Herman Cain said today he has no recollection of ever being the head of the National Restaurant Associati...

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Funny story: Herman Cain Says If These White Women Keep Accusing Him of Stuff He's Gonna Quit The GOP Presidential Race

Herman Cain Says If These White Women Keep Accusing Him of Stuff He's Gonna Quit The GOP Presidential Race

CHATTANOOGA - Herman Cain brought his Republican presidential campaign into Chattanooga, Tennessee, the town where Cousin Connie's Confederate-Style Cornbread was first baked back in 1864. He spoke before a half-cheering crowd of 22 in the parking...

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Funny story: Gloria Allred Says Herman Cain "A Discredit To His Race"

Gloria Allred Says Herman Cain "A Discredit To His Race"

SCOTTSDALE - Herman Cain reached out to the Nation this afternoon in an effort to put behind him allegations that he put his hand up Sharon Bialek's skirt while attempting to go where no man had ever gone before. Saying unequivocably that Ms. Bial...

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Funny story: Did Herman Hide the Sausage? Sausage Appearance to Cains' Maid Sheds New Light on the Case

Did Herman Hide the Sausage? Sausage Appearance to Cains' Maid Sheds New Light on the Case

FBI sources have confirmed that Republican Candidate Herman Cain is being questioned about the 2005 disappearance of the Sausage, the tube-shaped deity that won the world over with its selfless good deeds, its legendary size, and its ability to fill...

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Funny story: Sharon Bialek has such troubled past that the chances of her having been groped are 0%, Cain's people

Sharon Bialek has such troubled past that the chances of her having been groped are 0%, Cain's people

WASHINGTON, D.C.--At a press conference on Monday, Sharon Bialek relayed a detailed account of how Herman Cain made sexual advances toward her in a hotel in 1997. The Cain Campaign has, however, unearthed in its mind such a troubling past for Bialek...

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Funny story: Herman Cain's "PizzaGate" Gal #4 Says He Offered Her A Deluxe Pizza With Extra Sausage

Herman Cain's "PizzaGate" Gal #4 Says He Offered Her A Deluxe Pizza With Extra Sausage

CHICAGO - Noted defense attorney Gloria Allred who specializes in cases involving various degrees of sexual harassment, product placement in movies, and statutory frolicking at the beach, has just been hired by a Chicago woman who has stepped forward...

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Funny story: Herman Cain Tells Politico Reporter To "Occupy This"

Herman Cain Tells Politico Reporter To "Occupy This"

WASHINGTON - The usually good natured and smiling Herman Cain, obviously tired of answering questions concerning his alleged sexual harassment of two or three nymphet sparrows who claim that Mr. Cain was trying to hit on them while he was President o...

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Funny story: Cain: "For every NO, I got seven YESSES!"

Cain: "For every NO, I got seven YESSES!"

Herman Cain took the podium triumphantly at an announced press conference this morning. The room was filled with his Tea Party supporters. Cain stated: "For every NO, there were seven YESSES!" The crowd roared its approval. Cain: "Would you want...

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Funny story: Herman Cain not interested in 'small insignificant states' unless they're bombing us

Herman Cain not interested in 'small insignificant states' unless they're bombing us

WASHINGTON, D.C.--Herman Cain has taken a slight lead in the Republican nomination contest, but is currently the leader by a large margin in the Gaffe Factor. When asked who the president of Uzbekistan was, Cain replied, "When they ask me who is t...

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Funny story: Sarah Palin Tells Herman Cain To Hang In There Cause It'll Get Lots Worse

Sarah Palin Tells Herman Cain To Hang In There Cause It'll Get Lots Worse

WASILLA, Alaska - Sarah Palin recently confided some personal observations to one of her neighbors, but not the one next door, Jebediah McGillicuddy, who wrote the exposé book on her that sunk the hell out of her political fishing boat. According...

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Funny story: Rev Jesse Jackson Calls Cain "Poozle Chasing Uncle Tom Honky Loving Republican"

Rev Jesse Jackson Calls Cain "Poozle Chasing Uncle Tom Honky Loving Republican"

CHICAGO - Jumping into the raging controversy regarding Herman Cain's alleged sexual harassment of two or more female workers, the Reverend Jesse Jackson today dumped more coals on the fire by calling Cain a "Poozle chasing Uncle Tom honky loving Rep...

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Funny story: "Mr. Bankruptcy" calls Jon Stewart a racist

"Mr. Bankruptcy" calls Jon Stewart a racist

New York, NY--Donald Trump is calling Jon Stewart a racist for pointing out that Herman Cain sexually harassed two women. "How dare Jon Stewart make jokes about Herman Cain harassing two women. It is totally racist to pick on a man because of his...

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Funny story: Cain accuser: "It was no big thing!"

Cain accuser: "It was no big thing!"

The young blonde, blue eyed woman took the podium yesterday in a press conference to explain the circumstances surrounding the accusations of Herman Cain's sexual harassment charges. It didn't last long as she made her opening statement. She began: "...

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Funny story: Third Herman Cain Accuser Willing To Talk For Girl Scout Cookies

Third Herman Cain Accuser Willing To Talk For Girl Scout Cookies

VIRGINIA - At a campaign stop at Alexandria, Virginia, where people are simply happy to eat their Thomas Jefferson Liberty popsicles and be on their merry way, reporters swarmed Herman Cain and pelted him with questions about accuser number three's a...

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Funny story: Herman Cain Caught Trying To Get A Piece

Herman Cain Caught Trying To Get A Piece

Republican presidential primary candidate Herman Cain has been broadsided with accusations of, and covering up, sexual harassment. The former pizza magnate has now had a fifth accuser come forward with allegations that she was sexually harassed on...

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