COLUMBIA, South Carolina (ABSNN) - In a televised statement, the former governor of this state, and an also-ran, Republican Presidential candidate, and evangelical preacher, Mike Huckabee, told voters today that if they voted for Obama they would go...
In response to a tourism drive instigated by council big wigs in the glorious city of Kingston Upon Hull, a protest group has been set up to stop the renaming of the city. Council chiefs had wanted to rename the city "Hell" which in Back and to the L...
Council chiefs in Kingston-Upon-Hull have unveiled a proposal designed to boost the city's tourism industry. Their madcap idea is to rename the city 'Hell'. Council spokesman Claude Dogsbody explained the barmy plans earlier today. "Tourism fig...
Nazis are not Satan's children and certainly do not originate from the cauldrons of hell because after finding an original Nazi and examining it; there is proof that they come from outer-space and travelled on meteorites! Originally the Nazi Bu...
There are levels of Hell that even Dante did not know. Hells that are not bright and hot but with an icy cold that freezes thought itself. Hells of place, of emotion, of mind, of other people. And there are places on earth where these Hells break to the surface and there manifest. There are types of the undead that have never been written of We know of vampires and werewolves and polterge...
Osama bin Laden speaking to mediums on the eve of the first commemoration of his death, says that he sure is in Hell, but he would not want it any other way. "The guys in Heaven all want to come down here. There's no hot stuff up there - not even...
News filtered in last night that The Devil is set to be investigated by a team of professionals from Trading Standards after accusations that he has been offering poor deals to people wishing to sell their souls. In the past The Devil has been kno...
Cardinal Risk Sanatorium of Pennsylvania, leading contender for the POP Primary race, accuses President O'Bama of Apostasy, and is planning an auto-da-fé this coming November to force him to be shunned by the members of religious groups, and then sub...
It's not often when our editor comes out of his office, but he came out a few weeks ago and shouted, "James, I have a story for you!" He proceeded to tell me his brilliant idea for a Valentine's Day story, and he wanted me to chronicle my dating life for our readers. I reluctantly agreed only because I had become so tired of being angry and cynical due to the fact that my ex left me for his...
PORTLAND-Misery loves its company, it's the age-old cliché. It also happens to be the age-old lie, according to Misery. "What most people don't seem to realize," it said, "is that most of the time, I prefer to just ruin one person's life at a tim...
The poster advertisement at the bus terminal shows a picture of a guy who looks as though he accidentally walked in on his roommate's hot girlfriend taking a shower, and has sprawled out on a plush comfortable couch, hands laced behind his head, just reliving the moment. The caption reads "Get Ready For Comfort". Poster guy has a laptop, an I-Pod, a stack of books, and what appears to be a rather...
For over 2000 years it was the "go to" company in post-life housing and employment but today HELL filed for Chapter 11 and announced will soon be closing its doors. Shares of HELL (NASDAQ) plummeted during the day and closed at $1.20, down from $307...
Midnight in Worthing is unlike midnight in any other British town or city. There is much about Worthing that is dark, evil, twisted, and best left unsaid. It has become apparent that Worthing is rapidly overtaking the world's leaders in the sleaze...
Today Satan foreclosed on the entire world of Hell, also known as the underworld, claiming it's upkeep was too much. Satan blames the economy for the loss. This is a sad day for all Satanist's out there but a great victory for the Christians, who...
In response to a rash of suicides by bullied LGBT adolescents around the country, the American Family Association has launched a campaign to remind LGBT kids of the wages of sin, called It Doesn't Get Worse Than Hell. The viral effort, launched last...
They say that it is always nice to bring a gift to your host when someone invites you to their home. But for Dr. Jack Kevorkian -- referred to in the press as "Dr. Def" as much for his history with assisted suicide as for spittin' cool rhymes-- the g...
JAHANNUM, HELL - Bin-Laden, the world's most wanted man, was shot dead on Monday by United States elite forces. However, where is he now? Many of his cronies and followers would like him to be in heaven, lording it up with 40 virgins. No such...
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