Cardinal Risk Sanatorium of Pennsylvania, leading contender for the POP Primary race, accuses President O'Bama of Apostasy, and is planning an auto-da-fé this coming November to force him to be shunned by the members of religious groups, and then sub...
It's not often when our editor comes out of his office, but he came out a few weeks ago and shouted, "James, I have a story for you!" He proceeded to tell me his brilliant idea for a Valentine's Day story, and he wanted me to chronicle my dating life for our readers. I reluctantly agreed only because I had become so tired of being angry and cynical due to the fact that my ex left me for his...
PORTLAND-Misery loves its company, it's the age-old cliché. It also happens to be the age-old lie, according to Misery. "What most people don't seem to realize," it said, "is that most of the time, I prefer to just ruin one person's life at a tim...
The poster advertisement at the bus terminal shows a picture of a guy who looks as though he accidentally walked in on his roommate's hot girlfriend taking a shower, and has sprawled out on a plush comfortable couch, hands laced behind his head, just reliving the moment. The caption reads "Get Ready For Comfort". Poster guy has a laptop, an I-Pod, a stack of books, and what appears to be a rather...
For over 2000 years it was the "go to" company in post-life housing and employment but today HELL filed for Chapter 11 and announced will soon be closing its doors. Shares of HELL (NASDAQ) plummeted during the day and closed at $1.20, down from $307...
Midnight in Worthing is unlike midnight in any other British town or city. There is much about Worthing that is dark, evil, twisted, and best left unsaid. It has become apparent that Worthing is rapidly overtaking the world's leaders in the sleaze...
Today Satan foreclosed on the entire world of Hell, also known as the underworld, claiming it's upkeep was too much. Satan blames the economy for the loss. This is a sad day for all Satanist's out there but a great victory for the Christians, who...
In response to a rash of suicides by bullied LGBT adolescents around the country, the American Family Association has launched a campaign to remind LGBT kids of the wages of sin, called It Doesn't Get Worse Than Hell. The viral effort, launched last...
They say that it is always nice to bring a gift to your host when someone invites you to their home. But for Dr. Jack Kevorkian -- referred to in the press as "Dr. Def" as much for his history with assisted suicide as for spittin' cool rhymes-- the g...
JAHANNUM, HELL - Bin-Laden, the world's most wanted man, was shot dead on Monday by United States elite forces. However, where is he now? Many of his cronies and followers would like him to be in heaven, lording it up with 40 virgins. No such...
The television coverage of the Royal Wedding began five hours prior to the wedding, and continued for the rest of the day across just about every channel. Such was the scrabbling for angles that hadn't already been covered that the channels were s...
UHF-station TV "Judge" Judy Sheindlin was hospitalized after eating "10 or 15 babies souls" during a party introducing her as Lucifer's heir-apparent to Hell. "She was to replace me," said Satan, the Dictator for Life of the inferno. "Until she ma...
Church experts reckon a legal ruling has paved the way for vicars and ministers to sue their boss. Methodist minister Haley Moore, of Redruth, Cornwall, challenged a 27-year-old Court of Appeal ruling that prevented church members from making a ca...
While India may be a popular location for call centers, hell is gaining strength as the next big location for both inbound and outbound call center construction. Recently Lucifer, the keeper of the land of eternal damnation, was quoted as sayi...
In an effort to prepare his people for the up coming 2012 end of the world, God is sending out cards letting people know where they are going after the event. The "save the date "cards where sent out yesterday to maximize planning time. "There...
Fred Phelps, Pastor of Kansas' Wesboro Baptist Church in Washington, DC for the Supreme Court trial of the case to decide his right of free speech to picket a fallen soldier's funeral, was selling homemade CD's featuring all the songs his congregants...
A car club in Hell, Michigan known as 'Just Hearse'N Around' failed to get enough hearses together to beat the world record for world's longest funeral procession. It was determined that around 50 hearses were needed to break the record, but due to c...
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