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Funny satire stories about Heathrow

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Funny story: The Rolling Stones Detained At Heathrow Airport

The Rolling Stones Detained At Heathrow Airport

LONDON - Mick Jagger, 65, Keith Richards, 65, Ron Wood, 61, Bill Wyman, 72, and Charlie Watts, 67, whose combined ages is 330! were all detained for questioning at London's Heathrow Airport. It seems that the lads had stashed over 24,000 counterfe...

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Funny story: Man with World's Largest Scrotum Fined for Overweight Bags At Heathrow!

Man with World's Largest Scrotum Fined for Overweight Bags At Heathrow!

London, UK / Air Travel News - A disgruntled passenger caused a long flight delay today at Heathrow International Airport when he strongly contested being surcharged for having an overweight scrotum, which airport security classified as "carry on ba...

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Funny story: Plans revealed for new runway and terminal at Heathrow

Plans revealed for new runway and terminal at Heathrow

The detailed plans for a new runway and terminal at Heathrow were announced today, having recently been approved by the UK Government. "It has to be realised that the skies are crowded, and the days of checking in and getting onto your flight, and...

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Funny story: Heathrow to get new marina

Heathrow to get new marina

With the green light given to the building of a third runway and another high-tech, baggage-losing terminal full of over-priced tat shops (however Woolworths, Zavi, Land of Leather, Findus, Barclays, Miller Brothers, Adams, Wedgewood, Officers Club,...

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Funny story: Heathrow Chaos As Plane Lands On Third Runway, Before It's Even Been Built

Heathrow Chaos As Plane Lands On Third Runway, Before It's Even Been Built

There was absolute mayhem in Middlesex this morning, when a passenger flight attempted to land at Heathrow Airport's third runway, approximately two years before it has been built. The plane, a British Airways 747 on a flight from Tokyo, taxied ar...

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Funny story: Witch Crash Lands at Heathrow

Witch Crash Lands at Heathrow

A 98 year-old hag from Manchester has crashed her beloved broom at London's busy Heathrow airport today. She lost control of her 1892 'Besom' Mk 4 after being involved with a near miss with an Air Emirates, Boeing 747 inbound from Dubai. Zelda H...

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Funny story: New high-speed rail link for Heathrow

New high-speed rail link for Heathrow

A new high-speed rail link is being installed in Heathrow to help take the pressure off intercity flights and add a more 'green' aspect to air travel. The "Heathrow high-speed rail link" as it will be called, will operate between Terminal 1 and Te...

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Funny story: Polish And Foreign Workers At Heathrow Now Account For Majority Of Staff

Polish And Foreign Workers At Heathrow Now Account For Majority Of Staff

Polish and other foreign workers at Britain's busiest airport, Heathrow, now account for more than 84% of the total workforce, it has been claimed, by an irate traveller. Donald Dixon, a staunch BNP member, was coming back from New York with his f...

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Funny story: Total chaos at Heathrow Terminal 5

Total chaos at Heathrow Terminal 5

Heathrow terminal 5 was completely closed today when an entire plane load of passengers were able to correctly collect all of their luggage. A team of 15 baggage handlers were immediately suspended for a severe breach of usual working practices.

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Funny story: Director of BAA admits it was all a mistake

Director of BAA admits it was all a mistake

The Director of BAA, the British Airports Authority, Mr Peter Flypast, has admitted that his company's ownership of several British airports including Heathrow, Gatwick and Edinburgh was all a big mistake. He said: "My wife, Mrs Flypast and I, wer...

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Funny story: Heathrow protesters take their case to Hermann Goring

Heathrow protesters take their case to Hermann Goring

Protesters against the building of Heathrow's third runway have taken their case to German air chief Hermann Goring. The demonstrators, sporting t-shirts with the slogan 'We can really change things, honest', visited Herr Goring's house in Munich...

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Funny story: British Airways long haul at Terminal 5

British Airways long haul at Terminal 5

British Airways is putting the final touches to long haul for passengers at its recently opened fiasco, Terminal 5. Destinations to be included are New York, New York (so good they named it twice), Beijing where you have to be careful a tank doesn...

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Funny story: County Councils work with BAA to reduce landfill

County Councils work with BAA to reduce landfill

As a result of the spectacular successes surrounding trials for BAA on the opening of Heathrow's Terminal 5, several of the country's Council Council authorities have now signed up for a trial period of new refuse disposal services being offe...

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Funny story: Heathrow Terror Plot Foiled By BA Cock-up

Heathrow Terror Plot Foiled By BA Cock-up

A major terrorist threat was averted earlier this morning when a number of suitcases containing high explosive failed to arrive at BA's flagship new Terminal 5 at London's Heathrow airport.

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Funny story: This week's anti-news

This week's anti-news

They may run shed 5 at Heathrow a little terminally, but nevertheless, British Airways are poised to unleash the mobi-morons on the weary sky traveller this summer. Now, nowhere will be safe from chattering classes glued to their handsets - those who won't be able to survive even the most normal, off-limit phone kiosk in the sky to loudly announce to their significant other "Hi Honey.....

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Funny story: British Airways Advice For Travellers Handbook Available From Today

British Airways Advice For Travellers Handbook Available From Today

British Airways has reacted to its seemingly unending problems at its new £4.3billion facility Terminal 5, by publishing an advisory booklet for passengers who may have tried to travel from T5, entitled What...

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Funny story: British Airways Loses an Entire Aircraft

British Airways Loses an Entire Aircraft

Just last week British Airways launched its new web site eBA to sell all of the misplaced bags and their contents rather than find their rightful owners. Now BA has...

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