"We knew coming into Haiti that providing aid would definitely be a delicate balance and we seem to have overshot our mark." "The sudden explosion in aid has been overwhelming and for that generosity we thank everybody, especially George Clooney, Chris Martin and Coldplay." "When we first came to Haiti it was one of the most horrific disasters we have ever encountered however thanks to the m...
An expert in such things has concluded that the Haitian earthquake which devastated the Caribbean country was as a result of Mother Nature not taking too kindly to the inhabitants dislike of her favourite drink. "If they had have named the country...
The new television series of Freaky Eaters is to feature a 24 year old man from Haiti who was found alive in the rubble of the Napoli Inn Hotel eleven days after the Haiti earthquake. Wismond Exantus smiling and in very good condition was brought...
(Port-au-Prince-Haiti) Former Presidential candidate and husband of the year John Edwards went to the earthquake shattered country of Haiti with a group of 25 people, including doctors, to "help in whatever we can", which was the statement released b...
PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti - Senator John Edwards, hot off of his admittance that he is in fact little Quinn's biological father, has arrived in Haiti's capital city to help in fund-raising proceedings. Raul P. Escritor, a representative for the Haitia...
In a dramatic announcement from the BNP (the British Nutty People and nothing to do with any political party that may have the same acronym), spokesman Nicholas Griffin (no relation to any political party leader), revealed that Desmond Hitler, son an...
Jesus Christ rose after being buried for three days but his record has been well beat when Monley Elize a 5 year old boy from Haiti was rescued from the rubble after being buried for seven days beating Jesus by four. In Port-Au-Prince in Haiti a w...
In an action that is almost beyond belief as a blatant bit of Americans trying to take over a country that doesn't want to be taken over, the USA sent thousands of soldiers into the Caribbean nation of Haiti to 'help' the people there. 'It's beyon...
US Troops have dropped into Port-au-Prince via parachutes and are now attacking the destroyed palace of voodoo high priest and Haitian President, René Preval. Shocked earthquake victims observing the parachute attack started cheering the Yanks as...
Vice President Joe Biden, dispatched to Haiti by Nobel Peace Prize winner Mr. Opportunity, Barry Obama, was forced to set down in Detroit today due to an unruly press aide who claimed his shorts were on fire. A nonplussed Biden, who didn't realize...
Shocking news is seeping out of Haiti that the earthquake was actually no earthquake at all! Aid workers in Haiti saw 2 slightly fried, marine, Al Qaeda turbans drifting towards the beach with "The Great one" written on the front and "Bin Laden so...
As the aid for the injured, homeless and starving people floods into the airport at Haiti's capital, there have been wide reports of grid lock for the aid getting out to the people of Haiti. Some of the supplies have even been sent back as part...
U.S. President Barack Obama admitted today that he responded swiftly and competently to the disaster in Haiti solely for the purpose of annoying his critics. "My first impulse was to go have birthday cake with John McCain," Obama told reporters, "...
Port-au-Prince - Devastation from the recent earthquake in Haiti is still being assessed. Due to the high degree of illiteracy and overall poor math skills in the country the death count may be in the hundreds or as much as half a million, no one is...
Pat Clobbertson, Head Honcho of the "666 Club" stated today that the devastating earthquake that killed tens of thousands was "just part of the deal" Haitians made with the Devil to assist in disposing of their French Masters in 1804. "Only throu...
This is not satire. If you want to help Haiti, go to: The American Red Cross. If you believe that we Americans are "suffering" during the current recession, tune into CNN for awhile. PORT-AU-PRINCE - Troops and planeloads of food and medicine tric...
Donations have been pouring into relief shelters all over the world to be shipped to the victims of the earthquake in Haiti. That catastophe, which may claim as many as 100,000 lives, is bringing out the charitable giver in people all over the globe...
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