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Funny satire stories about Flooding

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Funny story: Umbrella sales increased on Canal Street

Umbrella sales increased on Canal Street

Canal Street, the area of Manchester frequented by the LGBT community, has only one corner shop, Azeef's; umbrella sales at this shop have increased four hundred fold since UKIP's announcement that gay marriage causes floods. "I'm thinking of sell...

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Funny story: Gay Marriage bill caused British floods

Gay Marriage bill caused British floods

David Silvester, became the second UKIP councillor to be suspended after saying something daft when he announced to the world that David Cameron's Gay Marriage Bill angered God so much that he flooded the south of England. In a rare interview, God...

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Funny story: "That's Magic" Paul Daniels' house not flooded

"That's Magic" Paul Daniels' house not flooded

The Thames Riviera home of top Magic Circle magician and Illusionist Paul Daniels has not flooded like almost every other nearby property. Paul and Debbie told our reporter. "The bureaucratic idiots will not give permission for me to pay for what...

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Funny story: Venice tests huge mobile flood barrier

Venice tests huge mobile flood barrier

Italy - "Eez meant to keep out all those boat people," Venice Lagoon harbormaster Gian-Carlo sambucca said today as a massive erection of steel gates bolted to the sea floor was being installed ahead of high tide. The 23,000 tonne, 78-section barr...

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Funny story: The Epic of Gilgamesh

The Epic of Gilgamesh

The Epic of Gilgamesh is a long, boring, heroic poem by Gil Gamesh, a Babylonian who plagiarized the story from ancient Sumerian sources and claimed that the events of the poem, outlandish though they are, actually happened to him. One of the poem's key episodes in the flood, which, when it is written about in the Bible, is known as the Biblical flood, but, in Gilgamesh, is referred to as The Delu...

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Funny story: LeBron "The Weatherman" James Proves He's A Jack-of-All-Trades

LeBron "The Weatherman" James Proves He's A Jack-of-All-Trades

MIAMI - LeBron "The Weatherman" James has just shown that not only is he a fantastic basketball player, but he is also one top rate weatherman. LeBron posted an Instagram of flooded streets in Miami and it was picked up by The National Weather Ser...

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Funny story: Families expect verse to come

Families expect verse to come

Three-quarters of Britain's families are bracing themselves for a rush of New Year greeting cards with loads of pathetically up-lifting poems and massively predictable rhymes. In Scotland there will be more verse - and sometimes the verse is w...

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Funny story: Google add flooding to their navigation maps

Google add flooding to their navigation maps

Google Maps were already brilliant, with satellite, topography, live traffic updates, street view and navigation. In wet, wet Britain, Google have unveiled another useful addition, flooding. "We've all seen the news," said Jeeves Bing, head of res...

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Funny story: Sheffield declared an island after UK submerged

Sheffield declared an island after UK submerged

Sheffield remains the only city in the UK not to be submerged under at least an inch of water, leading major map manufacturers to redraw the island of the UK as just a small blob near the Isle of Man with a few scattered islands around it. "The wh...

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Funny story: Flaming June - Met Office Bust Popular Myth

Flaming June - Met Office Bust Popular Myth

Torrential downpours across the country saw two months' rain fall in 24 hours yesterday. And weather forecasters are warning that heavy showers will return by the end of the week. The rain has caused chaos, with floods hitting various parts of...

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Funny story: Welsh flood woes intensify amid reports of crack in local reservoir

Welsh flood woes intensify amid reports of crack in local reservoir

Wales - West Wales Drugs Squad has been alerted to a new horror menacing the flood-stricken people of Gwynedd. This morning's reports said crack had been found in a reservoir at Pennal, close to Machynlleth, contaminating drinking supplies and fri...

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Funny story: Gemini solar eclipse heralds disaster for Chelsea

Gemini solar eclipse heralds disaster for Chelsea

London - "It's bound to rattle the NewsCorpse Fragrant Redhead Garden," a whorticultural society groundsman said this morning as news of the weekend forecast broke. "There's only so much washed out mugwort, poison ivy and wormwood the Show can ta...

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Funny story: Britain on tsunami alert ahead of Sunday's full moon

Britain on tsunami alert ahead of Sunday's full moon

London - Just one small fracking-related tremor could push the UK's volatile flood waters into tsunami mode No 10 Drowning Street warned today. Sunday's powerful Scorpio fool moon reacting badly with underground methane deposits is all it would ta...

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Funny story: Scientists discover global warming in Emmaus

Scientists discover global warming in Emmaus

EMMAUS PA - News from the Broad Street Saloon in Emmaus, PA is backing up global warming, despite the cooked results previously reported. Scientists there noticed that while drinking scotch on the rocks, that the rocks melted. As this melt transpir...

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Funny story: Costner rushes production team to flooded-out Vermont to film prequel to Waterworld

Costner rushes production team to flooded-out Vermont to film prequel to Waterworld

HARFOLD, Vermont--Rumors at Harold Fish & Chips have been confirmed--residents have, indeed, spied actor and producer Kevin Costner snooping around areas in and around Harfold where the worst of Irene's flooding can be found. A spokesperson fo...

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Funny story: Druids' casino under London Zoo rumbled as heavy rains flood Regent's Park

Druids' casino under London Zoo rumbled as heavy rains flood Regent's Park

London - Locals had long suspected its existence, of course, following decades of spurious equinoctial and solstice Druid activity next door at Primrose Hill. This morning's discovery of a huge subterranean gambling complex came as more than a mon...

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Funny story: It's to late now for you to be sorry. Brits who decided to 'holiday at home' now wondering if they made the right decision

It's to late now for you to be sorry. Brits who decided to 'holiday at home' now wondering if they made the right decision

Nora and John Cushion are now wondering if they made the right decision to 'holiday at home' this year with five other couples in Stockton, England. Recent weather forecasts tell of record-breaking rainfall and winds up to 30 miles/hour in their '...

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