The annual run of Kokanee salmon up Lake Tahoe's Taylor Creel to the spawning beds may not occur this October. Reports from fishermen indicate Tahoe's Kokanee salmon can be found only in small numbers at the south end of the lake. Where have all the...
Alabama law proclaims that anyone who catches an "Ugly Fish" or a garfish is supposed to become the fish's executioner. The law states that the fisherman can execute the fish in one of 3 ways: 1. He can put the garfish to death by guillotine as...
Following the first film screening at the Trump White House, the President has ordered the FBI to find Dory. Mr Trump watched the first five minutes of the Pixar film and said, "I don't need to see any more. I'm ordering the FBI to find Dory. She'...
MONSANTO- responsible for Agent Orange, a deadly range of organ-damaging pesticides and genetically modified crops resulting in thousands of people crippled or killed by their products and the suicides of thousands of farmers worldwide (most in the p...
The traditional free bar snack, the rollmop herring has been placed on red "extinction danger" alert this morning. The government is appealing to heavy drinkers to help save the nasty British tradition of eating raw fish in vinegar. For a small regul...
Orlando, Florida - It's goodbye to SeaWorld Orlando's giant predators and hello to the oceanariums's new show stoppers a pod of killer anchovies. Up to ten million of the little nippers are taking over from orcas Katina, Tilikum, Kayla, Trua, Nala...
SACRAMENTO - There is talk coming out of the state's capital that there is a strong possibility that the California Senate may move to place a ban on tuna fish. A spokesperson for the state commented that recent reports put out by The Amalgamated...
DETROIT - The consumer advocate group known as We Got Your Back has just issued a very important safety message. Consumer advocate Hannibal Linoleum wants all residents of the Great Lakes area to refrain from eating fish that was frozen in Lake Mi...
While chickens have no nuggets the whole process of fixing the favorite McDonalds bestseller can be sickening. The mechanically separated chicken are turned into this pink goop so we can create delicious chicken nuggets and even juicy chicken patt...
ORLANDO, Florida - Red Lobster Spokeswoman Bree Hugginharpee has just informed the news media of a change that the seafood franchise Red Lobster has decided to make. The company's board of directors decided that the company would keep the name Red...
LOUISVILLE, Kentucky - The Long John Silver's Corporation is getting ready to introduce what is perhaps its most interesting menu item in its 45 year history. Elmendorf Butterbox, a representative for the fish restaurant chain stated that the Pira...
The Vatican - Faced with rising legal costs and shrinking contributions, the Catholic Church is jumping into the lucrative reality TV segment with an unscripted show that features the Son of God. "Our initial offering will be a how-to reality-ba...
Miley Cyrus needed a break so her dad, Billy Ray decided to go home to northern Kentucky and go on a three-day fishing and camping trip. Of course, they did allow me, a reporter for $tat$, to go with them and use the photographs for a Family Type article. After the first day, they didn't catch a thing and, although Billy took it in stride, Miley seemed upset. "Look at that guy, Pops. Hey,...
With the recent success in shutting down the government, the "gang of thirty" tea party members who are currently steering the GOP decided to celebrate. They dispersed to the home of one of their benefactors with its three swimming pools and sund...
Apalachicola, Florida - A team of research scientists from Chicago has just spent five weeks doing research down on the Florida Gulf Coast. The team's director Dr. Randy Sangrantino, 54, stated that after spending thousands of hours studying guppi...
The results are in. According to an article on the BBC website, the blobfish has earned the unofficial title of "world's ugliest animal." Read the article and see a photo (but not on a full stomach) here. Others have chosen to interview Miss Ame...
JACKSON, Mississippi - The Mississippi senate has just passed a bill that makes it illegal for anyone to shoot catfish with a shotgun. State Senator Roy LeRoy Witchboro, 64, [R-Pascagoula] informed the news media that the bill passed by a vote of...
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