Right Honourable David Cameron MP (Conservative) Prime Minister, First Lord of the Treasury and Minister for the Civil Service. Most Suitable Gift: A Guy Fawkes C4 filled exploding Easter egg. Right Honourable Nick Clegg MP (Liberal Democrat) Deputy Prime Minister, Lord President of the Council. (With special responsibility for political and constitutional reform) Most Suitable Gift: A brow...
Venlo, Holland, Easter Monday: Thousands of Dutch kids were left crying and screaming during the Easter period; it seems that Dutch Easter bunnies had all lost their eggs? As the world knows every child in Europe (apart from the UK and the very po...
(Washington D.C.)- The White House announced that the new budget deal would furlough the Easter Bunny this Easter. "There's just not enough money to pay for all the eggs and jelly-beans." stated Speaker of the House, John Boehner. Easter generall...
A nation bows it's collective head today as grim news spread throughout the country. A local man, who asked to remain anonymous for fear of retaliation, was taken into custody early Friday morning as numerous reputable eye-witnesses claimed to wi...
With the success of Good Friday, when shops up and down the nation report trade is booming bigger than Christmas - mainly because they have to shut at Christmas - merchants of England are asking for more days like Good Friday. "Boxing day is quite...
Berks - Astrologers working on Prince William's wedding chart reckon he's ploughing his own succession furrow - as a classic swastika formation of Lyrid meteor shower straddlles Windsor skies this Easter weekend. The annual celestial lightshow occ...
Vatican officials today angrily refuted an internet rumour that a total of 820 meat feast pizzas, 200 porcetta sandwiches, and 400 portions of suckling pig have been ordered for a Good Friday meat-up in the Vatican Museums. "This is a nasty unfoun...
London - Bible cryptographers have found new evidence pointing to Queen Elizabeth eating her very last Beluga caviar canapé this Wednesday. A passage in the Gospel According to Fluke says she's likely to croak it on the night ahead of her 85th bir...
Residents of Newby, Isle of Wight, recently heard that Tesco's have already put out Easter Eggs on their shelves. This 'dastardly deed' was carried out on Boxing Day. Newby residents don't seem to think of this as strange at all as new Mayor of Newby, Arthur Askme, said, "We folk of Newby always like to get an' ed start on thee 'olidays. What's the point o' waiting 'till last minute? Ou...
IT'S not even New Year's Day - but Tesco is already filling its shelves with Easter eggs. Christmas trees are still 'up' in many homes, twinkling lights flash on and off. Wheelie bins full of Christmas Wrappers and turkey bones wait curbside and yet here come the chocolate bunnies. It appears the greedy companies can't wait, even beating the Valentines Day shoppers. Oh no! The Valentine's...
Oklahoma City -- Let's get right to it, shall we? I'm not gettin' it, folks: why in the world do we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus by instilling within our children the expectation of a rabbit coming by the house and dropping off a load of muti-colored chicken eggs once per year? As I've noted in other "Commentaries," I readily acknowledge that I'm not the brightest bulb in the socket. G...
An eight year old Gilbert, Arizona girl is being held in a juvenile detention center a state law that most people only thought was a tradition. Mona Jefferson is being held without bail as a flight risk (as she owns both rollerblades and a twelve sp...
The ex-student (known as Easter Bunny) of Huffington Public School in Ontario, Canada, and his younger brother, were in court today. 'Easter Bunny' ran amock in a small school in Ontario 2 days ago. He caused the school to 'lockdown' and rampage...
For the first time in history, Easter Mass was not about Jesus' resurrection but about the Pope being a great leader of the Catholic Church in spite of many claims of sexual abuse by priests all over the world and the Pope's inefficient handling of t...
If anybody ever offers to take you on a tour of Easterhouse in Glasgow, say no and make sure you don't change your mind. Easterhouse is one of the most poverty stricken deprived areas of Glasgow where if you see a cat with a tail its a tourist.
A large group of German, American and Irish former altar boys, who have become rich by settling their long-standing claims of sexual abuse by members of the Catholic Church clergy, have pooled their money and asked the World Bank to back them in a bi...
Easter eggs and other chocolate can now through a loop hole in an old law carry blades and other weapons, as long as they are not the locking type that have been banned since 1903 unless sold only in small amounts, latest research suggests. The st...
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