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Funny satire stories about Earthquake

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Funny story: 2.8 Earthquake in Illinois Was Kim Kardashian Twerking

2.8 Earthquake in Illinois Was Kim Kardashian Twerking

The reported earthquake in Illinois Sunday has been traced back to the rear end of Kim Kardashian who was practicing her twerking while on a visit with a friend in Metropolis. "Once she got that thing shaking, it was like it had a life of it's own...

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Funny story: Soon Drones Will Be First Responders in Many Emergencies

Soon Drones Will Be First Responders in Many Emergencies

The first thing that will happen after a terrorist bombing, tornado, earthquake, bank hold-up will soon be a drone. Plans now being drawn up by emergency responders like police, firemen, even soldiers will be a drone or team of drones to check out...

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Funny story: Welsh earthquake rocks Charles succession scam

Welsh earthquake rocks Charles succession scam

Wales - In a new twist on that old chestnut of 'Did The Earth Move For You, Darlin'?' an ominous 3.8 magnitude tremor in North Wales' Llyin' Penisula has rocked the Pretender's gargantuan aspirations to the throne. "Something - or someone - has f+...

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Funny story: Earthquakes Have Joined Hurricane Status

Earthquakes Have Joined Hurricane Status

BOSTON - The United States Meteorological Society has just made an announcement that many felt would be coming sooner or later. USMS Spokesperson Yardley "Twister" Twistafelli stated to the news media that effective immediately earthquakes like hu...

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Funny story: Carbon Beach billionaires braced for Wednesday's seismic Full Moon

Carbon Beach billionaires braced for Wednesday's seismic Full Moon

Malibu, Ca - Multi-million dollar seafront mansions owned by Larry Ellison, David Geffen, Paul Allen and assorted small-time Russian money launderers on Malibu's famous Carbon Beach are on full seismic alert ahead of Wednesday's Libra Full Moon. A...

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Funny story: Illuminati sends 4.0 quake to Maine warning US not to vote for Obama

Illuminati sends 4.0 quake to Maine warning US not to vote for Obama

PORTLAND, Maine (ABSNN) - An earthquake that registered 4.0 struck just west of Portland just before 8 p.m. this evening. The Illuminati has taken responsibility for the temblor and "vows to cause an even greater quake should Mitt Romney fail to be...

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Funny story: Massive Full Moon tremor scuppers Kate and Wiliam Far East freebie

Massive Full Moon tremor scuppers Kate and Wiliam Far East freebie

Philippines - The 7.9-magnitude quake off Samar Island struck early this morning just as the Pisces Full Moon was waxing into maximum display. Its aftershocks have rattled Kate and William's Far East holiday plans for yet another taxpayer-funded f...

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Funny story: Leprechauns' gas fracking blamed for Irish quake

Leprechauns' gas fracking blamed for Irish quake

Co Mayo, Eire - Irish Seismological Survey sources said today they've received reports blaming the Wee People's fracking activities for yesterday's 4-magnitude rattler. The tremor struck some 23km south-south-east off the Corrib Gas Field operated...

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Funny story: Solar eclipse triggers Italy earthquake

Solar eclipse triggers Italy earthquake

Bologna - The first of the eclipsed Gemini new moon tremors has flattened much of a Northern Italian town 35km north of Bologna. The 6-magnitude quake struck this morning in the Emilia Romagna district notorious for attracting spent lunar forces.

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Funny story: Aceh quakes trigger massive gas bubble in Chevron's Barrow Island Gorgon project

Aceh quakes trigger massive gas bubble in Chevron's Barrow Island Gorgon project

Indonesia - Two huge shocks that rattled the quake-torn province of Aceh, Indonesia this morning may have dislodged vast sub-oceanic reserves of trapped natural gas off the coast of Western Australia according to reports. The Carnarvon Basin gas f...

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Funny story: Good Friday's full moon and the seismology of karma

Good Friday's full moon and the seismology of karma

London - It's 14 years since the dodgiest of dodgy Piss Process treaties was signed under a waxing fool moon by Hellfire fantasist Tony B Liar. Today Government confidence in the 1998 Good Friday Agreement small print suffered a setback as mobile...

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Funny story: Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez To Star In The Movie Musical "The Etch A Sketch Chronicles"

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez To Star In The Movie Musical "The Etch A Sketch Chronicles"

LOS ANGELES - It has just been announced to the Hollywood entertainment media that Sky Castle Pictures in association with Lions Face Films will soon begin production on the Durango Grundyweather musical The Etch A Sketch Chronicles. Mr. Grundywea...

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Funny story: Queen fears Friday the 13th has started early amid post-Full Moon Sumatra quake

Queen fears Friday the 13th has started early amid post-Full Moon Sumatra quake

Indonesia - She was informed early as the 7.3 magnitude tremor struck 423km (262 miles) south-west of Banda Aceh at an estimated depth of 29.1 km (18.1 miles) triggering an official tsunami warning along the Pacific Ring of Fire. Courtiers said to...

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Funny story: David Icke predicted Cornwall earthquake 'would be first of many' ahead of Saturday's lunar eclipse

David Icke predicted Cornwall earthquake 'would be first of many' ahead of Saturday's lunar eclipse

Bodmin - The 2.2 magnitude tremor hit the Lizard Peninsula shortly before 3am in what Icke once prophesied would be the first portent of the Reptilian New Dawn. Some of his New Age conspiracist pals also reckon the quake is a grim precursor to a g...

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Funny story: Rosat satellite falls on Turkey causing 7.3 earthquake - reports

Rosat satellite falls on Turkey causing 7.3 earthquake - reports

Germany's out-of-control Roentgen Satellite (Rosat) - seen re-entering the Earth's atmosphere around 02.00GMT - is suspected of causing the 7.3 tremor which struck Eastern Turkey's city of Van today. Some 20 tonnes of space junk are thought to hav...

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Funny story: Scotland finally splits from England

Scotland finally splits from England

An earthquake measuring three point seven on the Richter scale has finally achieved what several decades of political wrangling between Scottish and English politicians has been unable to do: split Scotland from England. "The earthquake was only s...

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Funny story: Arizona's Governor Jan Brewer Blames The Hurricanes, The Earthquakes, The Wildfires, The Floods, and The Heat Wave On "El Nino"

Arizona's Governor Jan Brewer Blames The Hurricanes, The Earthquakes, The Wildfires, The Floods, and The Heat Wave On "El Nino"

YUMA, Arizona - Governor Jan Brewer recently spoke before a gathering of The Retired Saguaro Cactus Breeders Coalition at a local Sand & More Sand Motel convention room where she thanked them for the patience they exhibited in a field that has be...

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