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Funny satire stories about Earth

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Funny story: Asteroid set for fly-past of Earth particularly scary for those with depth perception issues

Asteroid set for fly-past of Earth particularly scary for those with depth perception issues

HARFOLD, Vt.--This week, an asteroid 1,300 feet in diameter will pass between Earth and the moon. Traveling at about 30,000 miles per hour and 200,000 above Earth, the normal, everyday person will be none the wiser. For those, however, with depth...

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Funny story: Asteroid to Knock the Moon into the Earth on Tuesday

Asteroid to Knock the Moon into the Earth on Tuesday

NASA waited until today to tell us that on Tuesday evening a gigantic asteroid is going to crash into the moon and send the moon crashing full speed into Earth. Today a senior US military official said that Iran is "the biggest threat to the United S...

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Funny story: Population reaches 7 billion

Population reaches 7 billion

The Global Institute for the Management of Population (GIMP) have announced that the world's population has now reached 7 billion vermin (also known as humans). GIMP held a press conference today, wearing masks, and announced various ideas for reduci...

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Funny story: The Beginner's Guide Part 4: Ten Things To Know About Travel

The Beginner's Guide Part 4: Ten Things To Know About Travel

Hello and welcome to the fourth in our Beginner's Guide series. In this edition we are talking about travel. Since man could first walk, he has wandered freely, seeking out adventure and experience to broaden the mind. From the classic family holiday to the trans-Atlantic business trip, travel has become a much needed part of the day to day dealings of the human race. Whether you are p...

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Funny story: Fat Bottomed Girls, You Really Do Make The World Go Round, Fact

Fat Bottomed Girls, You Really Do Make The World Go Round, Fact

A study by leading scientists has confirmed that fat bottomed girls really do make the world go round. The lyrics to the popular Queen hit were always taken with a pinch of salt, rather like the fries that the name checked stars of the rock classi...

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Funny story: German satellite offers much better odds of us not being obliterated, but they don't teach odds in school

German satellite offers much better odds of us not being obliterated, but they don't teach odds in school

BERLIN, Germany--Time to restock your fallout shelters. The German "Röntgensatellit" or ROSAT will most likely slam into Earth's atmosphere in late October or early November. However, whereas the UARS carried a 1 in 3,200 chance of hitting us, the...

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Funny story: Scientists Confirm Paris Hilton's Theory, The Earth is HOT

Scientists Confirm Paris Hilton's Theory, The Earth is HOT

With reports of Albert Einstein physically turning over in his grave, scientists have recently confirmed that the popular theory made famous by media favorite, Paris Hilton, that the Earth is indeed "HOT". Measuring the radioactive decay of our pl...

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Funny story: NOAA whistleblower exposes global axis tilt

NOAA whistleblower exposes global axis tilt

(Seattle) A former employee of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) announced today that the reason Seattle's weather is getting hotter and wetter is due to an increase in the tilt of the Earth's axis. "This is not just limit...

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Funny story: The world is not as old as we thought

The world is not as old as we thought

This is the shock new revelation coming from the American Creationist's Movement (ACM). According to the ACM the world is only 6000 years old. This is in stark contrast to scientists claims that the world is in fact closer to being between four and five billion years old. Scientists, (whom the ACM believe only exist as tools of Satan to disprove the existence God), have based their evidence on...

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Funny story: Future News: World Ends on Saturday

Future News: World Ends on Saturday

(Published in five hours) EARTH/EMPTY SPACE - The 6.9bn humans on the planet saw their entire planet end today. Earth, which has had a long history of several million years, ended after a giant instability in the Earth's core did some 'weird shit...

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Funny story: Space Capsule Lands on White House Lawn

Space Capsule Lands on White House Lawn

Washington DC: President Obama was informed today that there was a crashed space capsule on the lawn of the White House. Federal officials cannot explain how this object went completely undetected by NORAD until landing and being found by the first d...

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Funny story: Human Race Applauded for Somehow Getting Through One Day

Human Race Applauded for Somehow Getting Through One Day

EARTH - The 6.9bn human beings on the planet today managed, against all the odds, to survive. Humans, who are remarkable at not somehow screwing themselves over, messing shit up, will live to suck another day. Today, the human race managed not...

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Funny story: Japanese Quake Causes Spike In Work "Sickies"

Japanese Quake Causes Spike In Work "Sickies"

Employers around the world have been reporting increases in staff absences due to illness this week - and the Japanese earthquake is to blame, say experts. Boffins reckon that the huge quake last Friday shifted the Earth on its axis by 6.5 inches.

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Funny story: BBC to go Off-Air for at Least Two Months due to Magnetic Shift

BBC to go Off-Air for at Least Two Months due to Magnetic Shift

The government have announced they have been informed by the BBC that they will have to go off-air for an anticipated period of at least two months beginning from early March this year following confirmation from NASA that the earth's magnetic poles...

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Funny story: Misplaced Magnetic North Murdered Migrating Masses

Misplaced Magnetic North Murdered Migrating Masses

Meteorologists and Air Traffic Controllers (ATC) in Tampa, Miami, USA believe that they may have solved the mystery of the untimely demise of flocks of birds. Flight crew on board several aircraft preparing to land on runway 36 at Tampa Airport ha...

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Funny story: Earth Caretakers Lose Funding

Earth Caretakers Lose Funding

The duo of Earl and Dale, aliens that are responsible for keeping Earth from destruction ala Horton Hears a Who, have reportedly lost funding from their government. Troubled economic times have spilled over to the universe leading several economis...

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Funny story: God Remembers 'Earth'

God Remembers 'Earth'

HEAVEN, GOD'S PARADISE - God, also known as Yahweh and Allah, was wondering whatever happened to that planet of humans. "Earf..." he tried to recall. "Earg...something like that." He remembered creating this Earth as a test planet back in the E...

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