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Funny satire stories about Diamond Jubilee

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Funny story: Gaping crevice appears in Royal Mausoleum car park toilet block

Gaping crevice appears in Royal Mausoleum car park toilet block

Windsor - It's been earwigged - er...earmarked! - for decades as the final resting place of Queen Elizabeth Windsor. This morning plans to demolish Frogmore's visitors toilet block took an unexpected turn as a huge fissure appeared, cracking open...

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Funny story: It's a Royal Family Jeremy Kyle Show

It's a Royal Family Jeremy Kyle Show

Do you remember that as part of the Silver Jubilee the Royals took part in what was then the top TV program It's a Knockout it was called It's a Royal Knockout? Well I can exclusively reveal that a similar TV program to be adopted by the Royals fo...

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Funny story: Queen's Diamond Jubilee 'as big a hoax as the Hitler Diaries'

Queen's Diamond Jubilee 'as big a hoax as the Hitler Diaries'

London - It's a script crafted by descendants of Oswald Mosley's Blackshirt Fascists who doshed up plonkers in the Coalition Cabinet. Today a former Hellfire Club treasurer described the Jubilee plot as daft and corrupt as the faux memoirs of Quee...

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Funny story: Queen Blamed For Glorious Weather Outbreak

Queen Blamed For Glorious Weather Outbreak

As Britain swelters under cloudless skies and glorious sunshine, Her Majesty the Queen is at the centre of a row over the timing of the heatwave. Retail managers maybe rubbing their hands in delight as supermarkets and garage forecourts throng wit...

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Funny story: OMG! Giant 100-metre pic of Jubilee royals unveiled on Thames opposite God's Banker RIP site

OMG! Giant 100-metre pic of Jubilee royals unveiled on Thames opposite God's Banker RIP site

London - The 100-metre wide black and white poster is hanging at Blackfriars Bridge just yards from Roberto 'God's Banker' Calvi's 1982 death site. Taken from the Queen's first hoax Jubilee - the Silver, in 1977 - the picture shows 'the usual susp...

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Funny story: Pyongyang Philharmonic to serenade Queen's Jubilee flotilla

Pyongyang Philharmonic to serenade Queen's Jubilee flotilla

London - They've hired the souped up remains of the dredger Bowbelle that did for the tragic Marchioness in August 1989. A lick of paint and some shiny new trimmings completes the makeover much like the Spirit of Chartwell that's been hired by Tor...

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Funny story: Arab despots paying £1 million-a-plate for Jubilee dinner

Arab despots paying £1 million-a-plate for Jubilee dinner

London - Proceeds from the gold-embossed 'Donations Welcome' invites were filling up Palace coffers today. Billed as the ultimate despots' photo-op the feast's bound to sanitise some very dodgy despotic profiles. And raise oodles of cash for th...

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Funny story: World's top bastards gather for Diamond Jubilee bash

World's top bastards gather for Diamond Jubilee bash

Windsor - Some of the world's most repugnant Global Piss Process luminaries are heading to Windsor Castle for the Diamond Jubilee freakshow. Top of the list is Elizabeth Windsor, ultimate royal hoaxer and wife of the current Pope. Her star-stud...

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Funny story: Welsh Nationalists Up In Arms Over Corgi Pup-ularity Thanks To Queen's Jubilee

Welsh Nationalists Up In Arms Over Corgi Pup-ularity Thanks To Queen's Jubilee

The Queen's favourite breed of dog has gained in popularity during her Diamond Jubliee year. According to Kennel Club figures, after a period of decline, people are showing more interest in Pembroke Welsh Corgis. Inquiries for puppies have incr...

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Funny story: Thousands of Diamond Jubilee medals dumped on eBay

Thousands of Diamond Jubilee medals dumped on eBay

London - Protesting soldiers, police officers and assorted public officials have flooded an internet auction site with the Queen's Diamond Jubilee medal. The gong commemorating '60 continuous years' of Queen Elizabeth has been branded an absurd to...

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Funny story: Beeb staff strike in protest at rogue Diamond Jubilee

Beeb staff strike in protest at rogue Diamond Jubilee

London - 'A Stalinist fantasy spawned in the Vatican' is how one Beeb father-of-chapel put it today as union members vowed to strike during the Jubilee extended weekend of 1st-5th June in protest at the long-running Palace hoax. Producers, technic...

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Funny story: Queen to celebrate Diamond Jubilee by getting smashed

Queen to celebrate Diamond Jubilee by getting smashed

Queen Elizabeth II is to celebrate her 60 years on the throne by going on the mother of all benders with other members of the Royal family. She is hoping to start the day by getting twatted on champagne in the Bonapartes pub on Buckingham Palace R...

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Funny story: National Anthem to replace all run out tunes

National Anthem to replace all run out tunes

With 2012 being the year of the Olympics and the Queen's Diamond Jubilee, it has been decided by the FA that every single football club in the country will ditch their current, and in some cases, iconic, run out tunes and replace it with the National...

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Funny story: Diamond Jubilee Street Party to take place on M25

Diamond Jubilee Street Party to take place on M25

Surviving inhabitants of a Hertfordshire village bulldozed to make way for London's orbital motorway in 1973 have been given the green light to hold a reunion Diamond Jubilee street party - on the M25. The tiny hamlet of Botting was demolished and...

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Funny story: Prince Harry is an effin disgrace and everybody knows it

Prince Harry is an effin disgrace and everybody knows it

London - A moneylaundering cabal of bent lawyers, accountants, royal arse wipers and members of Mrs Thatcher's organised crime syndicates has been bankrolling this fetid interloper according to weekend broadsheet reports. Daft Mr Gingernuts as he...

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Funny story: Queen Plans Tour of Iran for Diamond Jubilee

Queen Plans Tour of Iran for Diamond Jubilee

Due to an administrative error the Queen has been booked for a tour of Iran to celebrate her sixty years sitting on her throne. The mistake was caused by a clerical officer misreading her direction to book the Queen for a journey on a train. His eyes...

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Funny story: Heston Blooming-Tal Makes A Meal Of It

Heston Blooming-Tal Makes A Meal Of It

This year, 2012, is the Queen's Diamond Jubilee year. We asked famous bonkers celebrity chef Heston Blooming-Tal to come up with a recipe to celebrate her Queening anniversary, just like whoever it was who came up with Coronation Chicken in 1952. First Heston considered swan, but the legal department made it clear that there would be complications. Then he thought about lion, and again had to b...

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