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Funny satire stories about Derek Acorah

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Funny story: Derek Acorah finds Raoul Moat

Derek Acorah finds Raoul Moat

World famous, silver haired psychic, Derek Acorah was approached by Northumberland police to locate Britain's Most Wanted Man, Raoul Moat. Acorah, ever the showman, performed the psychic search on national television, in a show on Channel 5 entitl...

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Funny story: Derek Acorah accused of eating Paul the psychic octopus

Derek Acorah accused of eating Paul the psychic octopus

Sensational psychic, Derek Acorah, turned out to be quite a good chef when he appeared on Good Morning Liverpool this morning, serving up a dish of calamari with garlic and lemon on a best of schnitzel. It was while the hosts, Fill and Phern, wer...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Derek Acorah Visits

Isle of Wight News - Derek Acorah Visits

Delight and amazement were the emotions on the faces of the residents of Wooton when Psychic Superstar Derek Acorah, 60, turned up at the village hall. "He wasn't booked," said Kathy Dewsnap, 32 of nearby Wootton village. "Apparently, he'd meant to be going to Walton, but mistyped the address into his sat-nav. We don't mind though, because he was amazing." Acorah has never visited the Isle o...

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Funny story: Derek Acorah investigates Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson

Derek Acorah investigates Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson

The not at all fraudulent psychic, Derek Acorah has investigated Twilight Eclipse movie stars Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson, convinced in the reality of both Vampires and Werewolves. Already, Acorah has found the Yeti, Bigfoot and the Loch Nes...

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Funny story: Derek Acorah to appear on Celebrity Come Dine With Me

Derek Acorah to appear on Celebrity Come Dine With Me

World famous psychic medium and Cordon Bleu chef, Derek Acorah, is to appear on the next episode of Celebrity Come Dine With Me in the autumn. This being Derek Acorah though, you can expect the unexpected, with Acorah's fellow celebrities to be Al...

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Funny story: Derek Acorah showcases his new combi-printer

Derek Acorah showcases his new combi-printer

The incredibly talented and hunky psychic, Derek Acorah, unveiled his new printer to the world's press this morning. This printer also scans, photocopies and faxes, but does it all without wires. There are no wires at all, not even to plug it in.

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Funny story: Derek Acorah to replace Ledley King

Derek Acorah to replace Ledley King

With the injury news blow that Ledley King's groin strain will keep him out of action for three weeks, Fabio Capello has appealed to FIFA to bring in another defender. The international footballing body has sensationally agreed and Capello has put...

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Funny story: Derek Acorah buys his favourite restaurant

Derek Acorah buys his favourite restaurant

Derek Acorah is set to run his own restaurant in the Rojales district in Spain. Called Viloriens he has been visiting the restaurant for nearly two decades, and on hearing that it was too close, he stepped in and bought the concern outright. "M...

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Funny story: Derek Acorah's new golf clubs ruin his game

Derek Acorah's new golf clubs ruin his game

Internationally renowned psychic medium and all round good egg, Derek Acorah, was fitted for new Golf Clubs earlier in the week. Having befriended Jimmy Tarbuck, despite the ex-comic not being dead or a celebrity, Acorah got into celebrity golf, a...

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Funny story: Derek Acorah goes on strike - the dead rebel!

Derek Acorah goes on strike - the dead rebel!

Derek Acorah, the world's most good looking psychic medium, has announced that he is to go on strike, starting last week. His week-old self will psychically know that he has decided in the future to go on strike, and down tools. Already, the dead...

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Funny story: New Derek Acorah Applelet causes a sensation

New Derek Acorah Applelet causes a sensation

Derek Acorah, world famous psychic medium and carpet whisperer has teamed up with Apple to create the Derek Acorah iPhone Applelet. This applet has three functions. Firstly, it does away with the need to store telephone numbers of your contacts. U...

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Funny story: Element 117 named after Derek Acorah

Element 117 named after Derek Acorah

University physicists in Liverpool have synthesised a new superheavy element with the atomic number one hundred and seventeen, and named it after local celebrity hero and psychic Derek Acorah. Acorahium, as it will be known once ratified by the In...

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Funny story: Derek Acorah accidentally becomes god

Derek Acorah accidentally becomes god

The already legendary psychic, Derek Acorah, has moved one step up the paranormal ladder with his sudden, and unexpected deification. Acorah, who has really been speaking to dead people since the age of five, accidentally became a god yesterday, m...

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Funny story: Derek Acorah fronts new Yeast Based Product Campaign

Derek Acorah fronts new Yeast Based Product Campaign

The Yeast Based Product Smarmite, beloved or hated product that it is, has recently been using the General Election as part of its advertising. With the election finishing, Smarmite are looking for a new angle. "For years, we've used the Love it o...

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Funny story: Derek Acorah launches his own search engine

Derek Acorah launches his own search engine

Phenomenal psychic medium Derek Acorah is to launch his own internet search engine that he promises will rival Google and Bing. The Acorah search engine promises to do away with the tedious business of entering search terms and digging through pag...

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Funny story: Derek Acorah Calendar 2011

Derek Acorah Calendar 2011

Derek Acorah, the world famous physic medium is to take advantage of his phenomenal good looks, and produce a calendar for 2011, with him in various athletic and tasteful poses for each of the months. This particular calendar has a twist on ordina...

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Funny story: Derek Acorah finishes Mammoth Tour

Derek Acorah finishes Mammoth Tour

Psychic megastar and all round good egg, Derek Acorah has finished his latest tour to rave reviews, and has returned home to Southport to recuperate. Although the show was entitled "The Mammoth Tour", Acorah never actually managed to contact a mam...

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