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Funny satire stories about DNA

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Funny story: DNA "Conclusive!" Thomas Jefferson was Obama's Father

DNA "Conclusive!" Thomas Jefferson was Obama's Father

COLLEGE PARK, MARYLAND (ABSNN) DNA has proven "conclusively" that Thomas Jefferson, the third US President, is the true father of Barack Obama who now sits in power in the White House. Scientists at the University of Maryland claim "the findings put...

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Funny story: Jurassic Palace Park

Jurassic Palace Park

It had not been a good decade or so, for the Royal Family since Princess Diana had been murdered. Their popularity wasn't what it was and the Queen was concerned about their steady decline and the loss of public funding. After all she had three lazy and useless sons to care for. She had been thinking it over and over for a solution to this problem for months, without any success. Then one eve...

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Funny story: Scientists extract DNA from last year's X-Factor and implant it into Amelia Lily to ensure 2011 win

Scientists extract DNA from last year's X-Factor and implant it into Amelia Lily to ensure 2011 win

UK technical boffins have admitted to extracting the DNA from the last series of X-Factor in a laboratory in London, and then implanting it into embryonic pop star Amelia Lily, one of this year's finalists. In a procedure reminiscent of Jurassic Par...

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Funny story: Ex-PM John Major squirms over latest paternity claims

Ex-PM John Major squirms over latest paternity claims

London - Daft-as-brush ex-UK Prime Monster John Major is embroiled in a sordid DNA check on some 'bastards' who've tested positive to be his brats. At a Chatham House stink tank talk last night the hasbeen waxed lyrical about the US-UK 'special re...

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Funny story: Evolution Reversed! Well done you clever scientists!

Evolution Reversed! Well done you clever scientists!

Believers in the fantasy myth of evolution are today awestruck as it is claimed that the evolution process has been reversed and a chicken has been genetically modified to develop a maniraptora snout. What the imbeciles fail to understand is that...

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Funny story: Kate and Wills to visit long-lost reptilian relatives

Kate and Wills to visit long-lost reptilian relatives

Alberta - Genetic efforts to find the missing link between the royals and their four-legged cold-blooded relations are set for a big boost. The couple will visit The Alberta Reptile and Amphibian Society on Thursday in an unscheduled trip to conne...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight News, Andy Murray may be related to a resident living on the Isle

Isle of Wight News, Andy Murray may be related to a resident living on the Isle

The Isle of Wight News has reported that little Billy Murray of Newby village claims to be related to top tennis player, Andy Murray. Apparently when little Billy 'Googled' Andy he found they had a lot in common. They are both male and have t...

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Funny story: Brit 'birthers' to out Maya Angelou as Barack Obama DNA mom

Brit 'birthers' to out Maya Angelou as Barack Obama DNA mom

London - In a direct tit-for-tat for 'Obama's Irish ancestry' spin a group of Brits plans to publish documents showing the 44th US President is the son of 'Global Renaissance Woman' Maya Angelou. A London state presidential visit from Tuesday will...

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Funny story: Fathers' Day Specials Being Offered at Morrison's. Story from Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones, both of Cargo Fleet, Middlesbrough.

Fathers' Day Specials Being Offered at Morrison's. Story from Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones, both of Cargo Fleet, Middlesbrough.

Following the interview which our intrepid female reporter carried out with Takwana and Anitakapita regarding their views on Armageddon, we would just like to bring interested readers up to date with what is going on in Berwick Hills. After the i...

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Funny story: Evolutionists and the Junk DNA row!

Evolutionists and the Junk DNA row!

Idiot evolutionists are again clambering through the remains of yet another crumbling mountain of evidence! The row seems to be over what is popularly known as 'junk DNA'. Evolutionists want to imagine that as much as 98.5% of the human genome is in fact left over garbage from our ancestors. Unfortunately, those pesky scientists have spoilt the party and are increasingly finding out that in fac...

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Funny story: Recover Bin Ladens body? What's the rush?

Recover Bin Ladens body? What's the rush?

Bonkers evolutionists are claiming that there is no rush if anyone needs to reclaim the remains of international terrorist Osama Bin Laden, who was supposedly buried at sea today. According to the phoney baloney theory, it takes millions of years...

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Funny story: Maury: DNA Confirms Osama bin Laden Killed. Also, He IS The Father...

Maury: DNA Confirms Osama bin Laden Killed. Also, He IS The Father...

In light of the government's need to save money wherever possible -- bullet-proof military vests made of Pepsi cans, Mexican day-laborers as legislative aids, etc.-- President Obama asked Mary Povich, host of the Maury Show, to check the DNA of the m...

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Funny story: Man still not from monkeys exclusive!

Man still not from monkeys exclusive!

British tabloid 'The Guardiano' is again promoting evolution by another nut, 'Tom Redford'. In an attempt to flog his latest book, the newspaper is giving him column inches to promote the propaganda of evolution, in a surprisingly frank admission of lack of evdience. The following paragraph is copied verbatim under the fair usage policy for 'educational' and critical purposes. I STRESS that thi...

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Funny story: Scientists Point to Royal Wedding Guest List as Reason "Cloning" is 'Affront to God!'

Scientists Point to Royal Wedding Guest List as Reason "Cloning" is 'Affront to God!'

The Royal Institute of General Medical Science, noted for their study of Genes and DNA, said the upcoming wedding of Prince William will provide the setting for the largest gathering in history of mutant strains of human DNA. The Prince will marry...

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Funny story: Gagged: Red Tops mobile hacking spree sought Jeffrey Epstein/Princess Eugenie paternity test results

Gagged: Red Tops mobile hacking spree sought Jeffrey Epstein/Princess Eugenie paternity test results

London - A super-injunction obtained by the Queen forbids any mention of it. Nor any reference to forensick (sic) analysis of the Princess' Royal Truss Fund credits. But moves under Parliamentary Privilege next week will seek to establish if fa...

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Funny story: Spoof writer 'Lady Godiva' is about to reveal that one of the male Spoofers is her half brother

Spoof writer 'Lady Godiva' is about to reveal that one of the male Spoofers is her half brother

Lady Godiva confided in another Spoof Writer that she recently discovered a fellow spoof writer is indeed her half brother. She is wondering whether or not, at this time, to conduct a POLL on The Spoof site and let the writers have a bit o' fun wi...

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Funny story: Gene Kits being misused

Gene Kits being misused

A new kit has been released that will tell the user what colour hair a person has from a sample of their DNA. This joins the ranks of other kits that determine paternity, eye colour and racial origins. Initially developed for use by law enforcemen...

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