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Funny satire stories about Crime

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Funny story: Man Had His Back Doors Kicked In

Man Had His Back Doors Kicked In

For the second time in just over a month, a man in San Francisco has suffered possibly the worst indignity one person could inflict upon another, especially if 'another' is a private business owner with a lack of good security at his premises. Rog...

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Funny story: Cat Attack Caught On Video

Cat Attack Caught On Video

A series of incidents in Denver involving a seemingly deranged cat is a step nearer to being solved tonight, after yet another unprovoked attack on a young child was caught on video. The cat, a black one, apparently lays in wait in bushes or long...

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Funny story: Fox News Apologizes to Viewers After Accidentally Reporting a Crime Committed by U.S. Citizen

Fox News Apologizes to Viewers After Accidentally Reporting a Crime Committed by U.S. Citizen

Washington - Fox News commentator, Tucker Carlson, admitted on-air to outraged viewers, that one of the violent crimes reported by the network involved a suspect actually born in the United States. “We have worked diligently to keep our viewers in...

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Funny story: Trump Plans To Release American Criminals Along Length Of US/Mexico Border

Trump Plans To Release American Criminals Along Length Of US/Mexico Border

Hamstrung by the Democrat Party's stubborn refusal to agree to the public funding of his Mexican Wall project, President Donald Trump has hatched a new idea to protect the country's precious southern border - he will release thousands of America's ow...

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Funny story: Polyana Viana Teaches Man A Painful Lesson

Polyana Viana Teaches Man A Painful Lesson

A man who tried to rob the MMA fighter, Polyana Viana, outside her apartment in Brazil, received his comeuppance in no uncertain terms, when the UFC competitor kicked the living shit out of him. Viana was outside her Rio de Janeiro home when the m...

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Funny story: Serial Killer Solves Cold Case

Serial Killer Solves Cold Case

Chester, PA. (WTFM) -- Early this morning, while digging a shallow grave intended to be the final resting place for his latest victim, serial killer Derek Flatt uncovered a shallow grave containing a victim of serial killer, Justin Crabwell. Crabwe...

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Funny story: Police Arrest Gatwick Drone Operator

Police Arrest Gatwick Drone Operator

Police at Gatwick Airport have made an arrest in connection with the drone that have grounded 765 flights and caused a shutdown of the facility over the last three days. Timmy Smith, aged 9, was taken to a police station early this morning after...

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Funny story: Police Apologise for "Upsetting" Description of Man's Genitals

Police Apologise for "Upsetting" Description of Man's Genitals

North Yorkshire Police have apologised for providing "too much detail" in a description of a man who performed a sex act in front of a woman in York. The force had said it was looking for a "fat, naked man" and described his sexual organs explicitly...

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Funny story: Old-Testament God Creates 11th Commandment: “Thou Shalt Not Engage in Victim Blaming, You Sadistic Morons”

Old-Testament God Creates 11th Commandment: “Thou Shalt Not Engage in Victim Blaming, You Sadistic Morons”

WASHINGTON D.C. - Emerging from the heavens amidst a flurry of lightning and ferocious winds, the Old-Testament God, commonly known as Yahweh, descended upon the United States Congress. “I am the Lord thy God,” Yahweh bellowed, shaking the ground...

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Funny story: "999 What's Your Emer...Ah Fuck It"

"999 What's Your Emer...Ah Fuck It"

A shocking new report has found that over one million crimes a year aren’t even investigated by the police. To people who enjoy stealing cheap bottles of cider, this is great news! But, for those of us who expect our law enforcement to do a semi comp...

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Funny story: Gruesome Murder Reconstruction Ends In Gruesome Murder

Gruesome Murder Reconstruction Ends In Gruesome Murder

Police supervising a TV documentary murder reconstruction of an unsolved slaying that happened 20 years ago, have egg on their faces this evening, after a second murder took place in exactly the same manner as the first one. In Epsom, back in 199...

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Funny story: Parents In Call For Naughtiness To Be Criminalized

Parents In Call For Naughtiness To Be Criminalized

Parents have reacted angrily to calls for a ban on smacking children in the home, by demanding that children be banned from acting naughtily, it has been reported. The Association of Educational Psychologists (AEP) has called for physical punishme...

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Funny story: Mind Reader Told Crowd What They Were Thinking

Mind Reader Told Crowd What They Were Thinking

In a case that is sure to have the science world unravelling, a man who claimed that he could 'read people's minds', and tell them exactly what they were thinking about, did just that. The man made the astonishing claim in front of a large crowd o...

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Funny story: Shoplifting Now UK's Fastest-growing Industry

Shoplifting Now UK's Fastest-growing Industry

There was brighter news for industry today, when it was announced that, despite poor performances in nearly all the UK's industry sectors, there was one major area of growth - shoplifting. Whilst energy, manufacturing, the services sector, financi...

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Funny story: Local Pie Thief located, killed in violent shootout

Local Pie Thief located, killed in violent shootout

After weeks of investigation local man Lawerance Oddert, father of three, was killed in a violent shootout with police after stealing a pie that was cooling on old Miss Tennanbaums window sill. The police first started suspecting Oddert when he refus...

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Funny story: Manchester Woman Reporting Murder Was Given 'Police Crime Number'

Manchester Woman Reporting Murder Was Given 'Police Crime Number'

A woman who reported what turned out to be a violent murder to police, was told by a switchboard operator that there were no officers available to attend to her 'situation', whereupon she was given a 'crime number'. The woman, who wishes to remain...

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Funny story: Police Crackdown on Scooter Crime Angers Mums

Police Crackdown on Scooter Crime Angers Mums

"Leave him alone, he's just a kid" screamed Clarissa de Pfeiffel-Johnson as her ten year old son Boris (no relation) was led into a police van in handcuffs. His crime was to be caught using a stolen scooter to carry out muggings on unsuspecting Londo...

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