GHOST TOWN, N.J. - "Mayor, Fat Cat Fringo wants to know if you've had the city water crew run the city water lines to his underground casino on the north side yet." I walked into the mayor's office and he was finagling around with one of those Rub...
Recently fired FBI Director James Comey's affairs have gone from bad to worse, and he is now on the road somewhere between Washington and the Canadian border. Mr. Trump has said he feels obligated to release the contents of private talks with Mr.
Upon much hesitancy and bewilderment, I joined my friend and neighbor Jacko, who visited a few local graveyards yesterday for a new job he just started. Jacko landed a job in the messy, stinking "Trump Dumpster" as an interviewer, investigator, a...
Montgomery Ala.: Creation scientist have issued a dire warning against eating pizza. Ford Cellars, of the Bible Center for Spiritual Research said they have evidence that consumption of the cuisine may lead to pedophila. "We've kept a close e...
Donald Trump said today that his Presidency was being modeled on that of President Warren G. Harding. Trump stated that his cabinet was being filled with "Really greedy, successful millionaires and billionaires that I greatly admire. President Hard...
Marksy - along with all the other horses - had no idea what "subsistence" meant, but they were told by Murdoch that they could look it up if they needed to. They didn't know how or where to look things up, so Murdoch told them the "truth," as he put it, telling the horses it meant "just enough to survive" for right now. The Boar also told the horses that it was just temporary, and that once the...
England football manager Sam Allardyce today stepped down from the post, and immediately became the first England team manager in history to leave the job with a 100% record. Allardyce, who took over from previous boss, Roy Hodgson, in July, guide...
A few months ago, Donald Trump tapped Kellyanne Conway to be his campaign manager. As an attractive, well-spoken, expert pollster she was supposed to put a good face on a campaign associated with vulgarity, unrestrained hatred, vicious attacks Musli...
Nigeria's blessing in disguise, the discovery of black gold on their shores, was meant to propell the whole nation into realms of wealth, jobs, homes, affluence, good health care, and basic prosperity for every Nigerian. This Utopian dream has now tu...
NB:The following was written one day before Tony Blackburn got it in the neck from the Beeb. The Chief CEO at Chapbrooks betting firm is a retired army major. Our sports reporter at "U-R-FKD" magazine called around to see him to explain Chapbrooks...
Labour leadership frontrunner Jeremy Corbyn has called for all Dolphins in British water parks to be expelled from the country, after a Palestinian group accused Israel of using trained Dolphins to spy on them. Mr Corbyn said in a speech to suppo...
With the re-election of Sepp Blatter as head of the mafia Back and to the Left news travelled to Switzerland to visit the man himself. After passing more security than a secret research facility we were taken to a giant pool room. Half naked beauties bathed in a pool of champagne and frolicked under waterfalls of gold flecked water. We would have given them a wave but that would be a breach of...
The Dalai who is quickly approaching his eightieth birthday has said recently "This will be the year!" referring the end of Tibetan struggle with China being aligned with his eightieth birthday. A well-established fact amongst most of the Dalai Lama'...
Washington AC/DC - Creepy Brit royal Charles Windsore was snapped in DC last month wining and dining a grinning Senator Bob Menendez (D-NJ) - the DC high flier who was charged with 14 c*unts of corruption last knight. The indictment includes consp...
Brooklyn, NY - A shady stone-age Neanderthal has been identified as the brains behind a Brooklyn PR outfit paid $6.4m to pimp out corrupt-as-hell Ecuador. Dr Einstein Flintstone is CEO of Brooklyn-based EmCee Squared Corp, described as a thriving...
UN HQ, New York - The Middle East Quartet wants its money back and is suing Tony Blair for $50m. It means his role of Piss Process special envoy is finally hystery after upsetting a lot of indigenous Kurdish Zoroastrians known as Yazidis. This...
Rome - Snubbed by The Holy Father, New York Mayor Bill de Blasio had a private audience with The Godfather on the first day of his Italian vacation. The meeting paid off immediately, with the mob boss agreeing to take over the operation of the New Yo...
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