WINSTON-SALEM, North Carolina - Herman Cain brought his campaign bus tour deep into "Tobacco Territory." And GOPicky Magazine's Amos Soursuckle said that it was a brilliant move by the Republican presidential front runner or as Michele Bachmann re...
Following the disappointing Misjudgment Day and associated backlash by followers who had offered their life savings to the cause, Reverend Camping, leader of the May 21st prediction fiasco, now says that the Iceland volcano eruption is proof that God...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - White House Press Secretary Cal Colfax has told the White House Press Corps that President Obama, after months and months of trying has finally kicked the cigarette habit. The members of the media erupted in a thunderous applaus...
Washington AC/DC - (Smoke N Mirrors): It's been almost a year, Mrs Obama told reporters, since her husband's last affair with the dreaded weed. "Of course, I haven't really poked and prodded him on this," the First Lady admitted in reply to questi...
An Arkansas man is in stable condition at Our Lady of Perpetual Mercy Hospital after suffering a near drowning incident at his home in Hog Jaw. Slim Pickums, Vice Commander of the Hog Jaw Knights of Columbus was rushed to OLPM late Wednesday night af...
Smoking Police Officers experiencing breathlessness in wintry conditions through excessive exhaling due to their inability to distinguish between the smoke they are blowing out and natural water vapour created by the cold, have asked for smoke to be...
NEW YORK - The UN today formally endorsed a plan by the US Congress to incorporate disgusting imagery on cigarette packages. The plan, which is backed by the organization, Mothers Against Damned Near Everything Society Savors (MADNESS) but vehemently...
Old Trafford, Manchester: £200 per Ciggy Pack Wazza who has not been loyal to his wife, understandably is not loyal to his football club and now wants a move from Manchester United and Chewing Gum Fergie. In what has been classic Chewing Gum Ferg...
At the recent Conservative party conference it was announced by Prime Minister, David Cameron, that it would be a "jolly wheeze" to make cigarettes available on prescription. Many of his fellow party members asked him to "packet in". In what is sa...
Fags and booze were best of mates, back in the good old days. When pubs were thick with thick blokes and a thicker smoky haze. Smoking indoors and having a drink is what it was all about. Have a smoke, have a pint, by the way, I think it's now your shout. But fags have now been relegated, just like a losing football team, they stand outside, looking through the glass while booze st...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Astronomer Joe Camelopardalis says he'd travel a light year for a Cancer stick, and one of these days, it will probably be cheaper to do exactly that. Nicotine junkies across the nation are hoping the Obama administration aband...
General Tsao, China. Scientists from Philo Doris Tobacco in Shanghai have announced there is a good reason to keep smoking in China. Cigarette butts are toxic enough to kill invasive species fish (darn rainbows), while the local fish (majestic carp...
Flights across much of the UK have been grounded for a second day as Gitane cigarette ash and second-hand smoke drifts across Europe, posing a potential threat to aircraft and more importantly, British tourism. Air traffic control body GNats said...
Cigarette wimp Millip Phorris unveiled it's latest product today, a new type of cigarette called Vitasmoke. Vitasmokes are an entirely new concept in smoking, not only do they offer full flavour, less tar and nicotine, but they actually provide 7 ess...
Washington, DC - With recent tobacco legislation banning the sale of flavored cigarettes and labels advertising cigarettes as 'light,' many are asking why menthol cigarettes were excluded from these new restrictions. Leading a protest outside the Was...
Another nail in the coughing has been hammered into a major cigarette company by a man who attempted to commit suicide by smoking himself to death. Mr. Havalight, 59, is to sue Balsam and Bushes for one million pounds for wrongful advertising and...
Durham, NC - Relief is coming for those who have always wanted to drink from an ashtray. Researchers at the Institute for Tobacco Studies announced the creation of a cigarette flavoring that can be added to coffee drinks. John Bloom of the ITS sa...
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