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Funny story: Rafa Benitez guarantees Chelsea top four finish

Rafa Benitez guarantees Chelsea top four finish

Rafa Benitez was appointed interim Chelsea manager today following the dramatic sacking of Roberto De Matteo, who in six months as manager had won the FA Cup and Champions League double, but was replaced after a poor run which saw defeats to Manchest...

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Funny story: Man United to drop Mark Clattenburg for Chelsea rematch

Man United to drop Mark Clattenburg for Chelsea rematch

Sir Alex Ferguson is planning to rotate his squad around as Manchester United visit Stamford Bridge for the second time in four days for a Capital One League Cup match. Sparks flied as the two teams met on Sunday in the Premier League. Chelsea we...

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Funny story: Jason Roberts "Would Shake John Terry's Hand, Definitely"

Jason Roberts "Would Shake John Terry's Hand, Definitely"

The Reading striker Jason Robots has said that he would shake John Terry's hand but he has refused to say whether or not he believes the Chelsea captain is a racist. My guess is that he does, indeed, think Terry is a racist, but that he is just to...

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Funny story: John Terry Subject Of New Anti-Racism Campaign

John Terry Subject Of New Anti-Racism Campaign

John Terry the former England international and current Chelsea captain, who has been at the epicentre of recent racial abuse allegations, has been the inspiration of a new initiative by anti-racism campaigners which has become known as the Kick Him...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 17th August 2012

Football Gossip & comments 17th August 2012

Joey Barton is the subject of an approach from French side Marseille after losing his QPR squad number to new signing Ryan Nelsen. (BBC Sport) I know we love to hate the French, but do they really deserve Joey Barton? The Olympic spirit may have had an effect on Chelsea left-back Ashley Cole, as he gave a young Manchester City fan his Community Shield medal (Metro) EBAY! Frank Lampard, 3...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 14th August 2012

Football Gossip & comments 14th August 2012

Manchester City win the Community Shield with goals from a 3-2 win over Chelsea at Villa Park. Fans who missed the game while watching the more entertaining ego-free Olympic coverage, could be excused thinking it was a another PR stunt by Max Clifford when the names of 2011/12 missing strikers Fernando Torres and Carlos Tevez both appeared on the scoresheet. Eyewitness video footage shows th...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 6th August 2012

Football Gossip & comments 6th August 2012

Blackburn's game against NEC Nijmegen off after 'riots' (BBC Sport) I'd heard watching Blackburn had become tedious last season, but I didn't know it had got this bad. Chelsea defender Ashley Cole, 31, has ruled out a move to big-spending French giants PSG after insisting contract talks over a new deal at Stamford Bridge have not stalled. (Daily Mail) Stand by for an new chapter in Cole's a...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 4th August 2012

Football Gossip & comments 4th August 2012

New Liverpool boss Brendan Rodgers says Luis Suarez must forget the racism controversy of last season. (BBC Sport) Rodgers was spotted leaving HMV earlier with the DVD 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind' plus a book called 'Dummies Guide to Hypnotising Stupid Footballers' Celtic begin their defence of the Scottish Premier League with a narrow 1-0 win over Aberdeen at Celtic Park on the fi...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 25th July 2012

Football Gossip & comments 25th July 2012

Transfer Window Gossip Ferguson confirms Man United talks with wonderkid Moura. Oscar reportedly on his way to Chelsea for £25m. (AOL) There's only a small window (about four days every July normally) that English clubs can sign players from Brazil. If they saw how much it rains on a wet and windy Tuesday in Wigan, they wouldn't join the Premier League for all the tea in China (or roubles in R...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 22nd July 2012

Football Gossip & comments 22nd July 2012

Olympic Warm Up Match - Team GB 0 Brazil 2 Team GB were outclassed by Brazil at The Riverside with first half goals from Sandro and Neymar. Just as well we didn't play them on the beach. Is it too late to instate David Beckham in the squad? Glad All Over Crystal Palace have announced the appointment of comedian and life long fan Eddie Izzard as Director. Their fans could do with a laugh.

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 18th July 2012

Football Gossip & comments 18th July 2012

(Various) Dundee are chosen, ahead of Dunfermline Athletic, to replace the old Rangers in the Scottish Premier League. I think Dumfermline think they've been dun! (Daily Mail) Midfielder Oscar, 20, has arrived in London with the Brazil Olympic squad and will have a medical ahead of his £25m move from Internacional to Chelsea. All they need now is Luca Toni and Golden Globe for a team w...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 16th July 2012

Football Gossip & comments 16th July 2012

Liverpool have turned down an approach from Newcastle to get Andy Carroll on a season long loan. They refused the deal after Chelsea turned down an approach from Liverpool to take Fernando Torres on a season long loan. Chelsea turned down the offer after Shanghai Shenhua turned down an approach from Chelsea to take Didier Drogba on a season long loan. Shanghai Shenhua turned down the app...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 13th July 2012

Football Gossip & comments 13th July 2012

Porto striker Hulk has denied he is close to signing a deal to join Chelsea. The 25-year-old, who is part of the Brazil squad for this summer's Olympics, is happy to remain in Portugal. He's waiting for Chelsea to play in a green kit before he signs an incredible deal. David Beckham will not stay in London for the whole Olympics after he was left out of the Team GB squad. He will instead retu...

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Funny story: Karen Brady sells grandmother to Chelsea

Karen Brady sells grandmother to Chelsea

Following the news that Karen Brady's nephew has been signed by Chelsea, the club swooped today for a family double when they signed her grandmother as well, to work in the club canteen. Brady began her football career at Birmingham City, working...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 8th July 2012

Football Gossip & comments 8th July 2012

Manchester Evening News Manchester City defender Pablo Zabaleta says controversial team-mate Mario Balotelli can become one of the best players in the world if he starts using his brain more. What brain - The one in his penis? Liverpool Echo New Liverpool boss Brendan Rodgers has no intention of selling Welsh forward Craig Bellamy. Instead, he's going to swap him for half a dozen tracksui...

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Funny story: Euro 2012: Roy Hodgson applies for Chelsea job

Euro 2012: Roy Hodgson applies for Chelsea job

Roy Hodgson has secretly sent his CV to Chelsea owner Roman Abramovitch after the 1-1 draw between England and France at Euro 2012 after a comment from Patrice Evra in a post-match interview. When asked his opinion on England's defensive style of...

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Funny story: Abramovich to Manage Chelsea

Abramovich to Manage Chelsea

Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich today admitted defeat in his search for a decent manager for his ailing club. The normally reticent Mr. Abramovich made a preliminary statement that he was able to speak today as had recently undergone a week's crash...

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