Last evenings Beeb's (BBC2) feeble attempt to portray two daft, moronic, drunken, criminal bitches, marauding and terrorising the streets and courts of Doncaster and York failed, utterly miserably! After 30 minutes of listening to: "F**k this, f**...
In response to a TV programme 'Holidays from Heaven', budget airline, Cheezy Jet have offered Chavs free holidays - yes FREE holidays! Many destinations are in Spain, Lanzarote or Majorca and include a full week stay in a 3 star hotel complete with s...
A 16-year-old Camberwell chavette has been ordered to perform 200 hours of community service work for the crew of HMS Belfast after being found guilty of drowning a cat which lived on the battleship. The teenager, Chantelle McSlagrat, who can't b...
An innocent teenager was stabbed to death today in London who had absolutely no connection to anything whatsoever - especially not all those gangs he used to hang around with. Amacoontoo Mugsgranies from Crapsville, London was walking along the ro...
News from the American colony seems to indicate that one of the candidates has chosen his pit bull terrier as a running mate in the up coming territory elections. Official reaction has been reserved but it is felt that this may be a step too far.
Violent disturbances today followed a rally by single mothers on state benefits in central London following a government pledge to crack down on fat-arsed slappers milking the treasury dry. Police confronted several hundred single mothers in Trafa...
From: Minister For Culture, UK, Tajib Nwora Where have all the cockneys gone? Why is it that when I walk the streets of my beloved London the only English accents that I ever hear are so unEnglish that it makes my toes curl? We English are not American, we are not Jamaican, we are cockneys. We should all be talking like Dick van Dyke in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, or Barbara Windsor in Ea...
A new device has been recently tested that scientists believe will make Britian's streets a safer place. The invention in question is already a hit with OAPs who have had the use of it for two months. "Absolutely brilliant, the yobs flee like c...
In a bid to crack down on the wearing of Hoodies, Government officials are to make teenagers learn the bagpipes. It is believed that the wearing of Hoodies would stop if this was the case. Hoodie's who liked the sound of Bagpipes would find a natu...
People should stop using the phrase 'Think Tank', according to Chavs.
As the number of knife attacks increase in the UK, celebrity chef Gordon F Ramsey has come to the defence of youths involved.
The older generation, victimised for years, have taken matters concerning youth crime into their own hands by doling out their own brand of punishment. In several cases, youths have been clubbed with walking sticks and beaten with zimmerframes.
A boy from Coventry has become the youngest-ever reported case of an affliction that is sweeping Britain, when he was diagnosed by his mum as suffering from Juvenile Dementia. Sharon Chavez, of the Burberry Estate in the city, said her 5-year-old...
Books and TV shows which portray gang activity in a positive light are set to be banned from schools in England and Wales.
As a result of the ever increasing popularity of 'Chav Culture' sweeping the UK, Digital TV is to launch The Chav Channel from November this year.
A leading psychologist-type, doctor-type has recommended that the abortion age limit for Chavs should be raised to 18. That is, they can now be aborted up to 18 years of age if they show no signs of normality. Speaking at the Annual Conference for...
Kentucky Fried Chicken has started catering their 'finger licking' food to the Chav market for wedding receptions.
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