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Funny satire stories about Candy

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Funny story: Hershey scans hidden Milky Way

Hershey scans hidden Milky Way

A remarkable view of a competing candy bar has been obtained by Europe's billion-euro Hershey Candy Observatory, as my host and source for this story informed me as he leads me on a tour of the telescope. The telescope was put in a special bar sca...

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Funny story: Starburst & Snickers are rubbish names proven by scientists

Starburst & Snickers are rubbish names proven by scientists

Scientists today announced that Starburst and Snickers were worse than the original British names for these products. Both had different names on British shores and there was a massive out cry when they were changed. Now it seems we should change bac...

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Funny story: Scientists Discover Glacier Mints Getting Smaller

Scientists Discover Glacier Mints Getting Smaller

Scientists have discovered glacier mints are getting smaller. The enjoyable mints, wrapped with a drawing of polar bear standing on an iceberg, or was it a fox, are likely to disappear altogether within 50 years unless drastic action is taken, acc...

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Funny story: Anger as red car beats blue car in new Milky Way advert!

Anger as red car beats blue car in new Milky Way advert!

Parents and Children alike have been outraged by the new advert released recently by Mars. In a shocking turn of events the Red Car beats the Blue Car. Charlotte Bonks from charity 'Fat Kids Won't Live Long' said "this is disgusting, everyone know...

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Funny story: Kit Kat to branch out on its own

Kit Kat to branch out on its own

Lucerne, Switzerland - Kit Kat have made a startling announcement in the Confectionary Times that they are to break away from the brand that made them famous and start their own business. Identical twin chocolate fingers Kit and Kat, both 43, of B...

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Funny story: Jade Goody Estate Sues Candy Manufacturers

Jade Goody Estate Sues Candy Manufacturers

Lawyers for the estate of the late Jade Goody have sued a large multi-national candy making company for trademark infringement in International Courts (through the United Nations). Attorney Mark Schaeffer said that "we have determined that the com...

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Funny story: Bnai B'rith Protests Anti Semitic Jew Jew Beads

Bnai B'rith Protests Anti Semitic Jew Jew Beads

Candymaker, Florida Olde Farts has made a killing for decades with their Jujube beads. The hard as rock near tasteless candy for some unknown reason is a movie theater treat that can't be beat. Film buffs have been gnawing, chewing and jawing on thes...

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Funny story: Sweet maker adapts to changes

Sweet maker adapts to changes

The makers of small rubbery indigestible sweets for 4-year-olds, have been hit hard by a shortage of raw materials in the credit crunch. Latex from Malaysia and Thailand has become 300% dearer in the last year, so the manufacturers are looking at...

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Funny story: Confectioner Releases new candy "Semen Squares"

Confectioner Releases new candy "Semen Squares"

Tasty Treats Inc. held a Press release stating that they will be intrducing a new candy called "Semen Squares" Made from the semen of healthy and fit 18-23 year old boys mixed with sugar and marshmellow. In the brief press statement Tasty Treats I...

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Funny story: Brown: Toxic assets taste 'great'

Brown: Toxic assets taste 'great'

The government is set to buy up toxic assets from UK banks and sell them to the public as confectionery. Treasury sources close to the deal explained uncertainty in the markets had created unease over any mortgage-backed assets - but most were pro...

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Funny story: Local Man Sues Over "Fun Size" Candy Bar Claim

Local Man Sues Over "Fun Size" Candy Bar Claim

An area man filed a suit today claiming false advertising on miniature "Fun Size" candy bars. Thomas Livingston, a 34 year-old self-proclaimed "Stars Wars Dragon Master", claims the title is misleading. "Who do they think they're fooling? Ther...

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Funny story: Cane You Hear Me Running?

Cane You Hear Me Running?

A California man used a candy cane lawn ornament last week to fend off a knife-wielding neighbor who had been attacking holiday guests at a Sacramento home. Police spokesman Sgt. Bill Heong said the man used the two-foot-tall plastic ornament to...

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Funny story: AIG Seen Leaving Supermarket with "Pockets Stuffed with Licorice"

AIG Seen Leaving Supermarket with "Pockets Stuffed with Licorice"

President Bush was reportedly furious at investment giant AIG when he got a report that it was seen leaving a local supermarket with a pocket full of candy and a brand new video game. "We don't provide bailout money for companies to waste it.

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Funny story: Blue MM's Better than Green for Sex Drive?

Blue MM's Better than Green for Sex Drive?

In an unscientific but documented study of colored MM candies on human sex drive, British Pharmacist Dr. Benjamin Licken discovered what was described as a definite connection between the ingestion of blue MM's and positive effects on the male libido...

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Funny story: New Munchon Particle Discovered

New Munchon Particle Discovered

The large hadron collider was restarted today in a bold attempt to find the missing chocolate particle predicted by scientists since the famous J.S.Fry experiments of the last century. Research then suggested that along with the 5 chocons (despera...

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Funny story: China Dumps Tons Of Poisoned Halloween Candy On USA

China Dumps Tons Of Poisoned Halloween Candy On USA

Washington DC-- China today was charged with sending tons of poisoned candy to the USA, just before Halloween. The Chinese are furious with the credit crunch and the trade imbalance. They want revenge and they want America to pay. The candy is lace...

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Funny story: Chinese Candy Recalled After Reports of some Bursting into Flame

Chinese Candy Recalled After Reports of some Bursting into Flame

A beloved Chinese candy is being pulled from world markets because some of it has caught fire when exposed to sunlight or air. The "Chairman Mao Happy Bunny Fun Drops" which also go by the name "People's Republic Productivity Reward Sweet Treats...

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