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Funny satire stories about Brain

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Funny story: Acton Cannibal ate neighbour's brain

Acton Cannibal ate neighbour's brain

Acton man Terry Scrote has turned himself in to the police and confessed to eating his neighbour's brain. "I was Hank Marvin after getting legless in the Bush with Stan Snide so i necked the contents of Arthur Saveloy's skull" claimed the part ti...

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Funny story: Astronomers find supermassive black holes in Sarah Palin's head

Astronomers find supermassive black holes in Sarah Palin's head

NASA - Astronomers have discovered a pair of supermassive black holes in the twisty, spiral brain of former Alaskan governor Sarah Palin, NASA said Wednesday. Approximately 160 million light years from Earth, Ms. Palin is the nearest known such ph...

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Funny story: McCain to produce 'brain' chips

McCain to produce 'brain' chips

Food manufacturer McCain have confirmed their intention to begin mass producing chips made of brain matter, which they say will replicate all the qualities consumers have become accustomed to in the potato versions, other than being slightly more tem...

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Funny story: Who Would Have Suspected That Men Have a Second Brain In Their.... Um.... 'Naughty Bits'?

Who Would Have Suspected That Men Have a Second Brain In Their.... Um.... 'Naughty Bits'?

Physiological scientists have made an amazing discovery in that man (and we mean specifically 'man' here, not 'wo-man') much like the dinosaurs of ancient times possess a second brain located at an extremity of the body. Both man and dinosaurs have t...

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Funny story: "Out-Of-Body" Experience Caused By "Brain Instability"

"Out-Of-Body" Experience Caused By "Brain Instability"

'Out-of-body' experiences are caused by instabilities in the brain which distort a person's perception, a study has found. Boffins at Birmingham University have found that the experience is caused by neural instabilities which cause vivid hallucin...

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Funny story: The secret life of cryptic puzzles

The secret life of cryptic puzzles

Almost every newspaper has a section devoted to some type of quiz. Quizzes are good; they give readers an opportunity to exercise their brains. It also makes them come back for the answers if they fail in their efforts. There are many types of quizzes available. Questions that rely on general knowledge are fun but they are also far too easy to cheat. Asking a question like, What is the world's...

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Funny story: Halp! Mi Branes Got Suked out!

Halp! Mi Branes Got Suked out!

This is a dasparate kry fer help! Pleeze reed this and havve mercy on mee! The other dai I wuz vacuming my room. I puled the atachment off and held it up to my eer to sea if something kloged it. Sudenly it vacumed my brane out! Don't lagh, damit! This is reely seerious!!!! The bastard thing suked the nurons right out of my scull. They say without immediate sergery I kud be left with a l...

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Funny story: Wayne Rooney Has Brain Transplant

Wayne Rooney Has Brain Transplant

Wayne Rooney has confirmed that he is recovering from having had a brain transplant. The Man Utd and England striker announced through his agent that he had had a 3 day operation in an exclusive Harley Street clinic after being given an ultimatum...

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Funny story: Scientists Able to Monitor Insects Dying Thoughts

Scientists Able to Monitor Insects Dying Thoughts

Neurologists at Northern Michigan University have released a study that confirms the ability to capture the final brain activity of most insects at the moments just before death. Working predominantly with Black Flies, a species that can outnumbe...

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Funny story: Scientists are closer to inventing a "mind reading machine" after decoding the brain signals that make mental images in Glasgow

Scientists are closer to inventing a "mind reading machine" after decoding the brain signals that make mental images in Glasgow

Scientists are celebrating their new invention, but only in Glasgow. So far they have only been able to decode brain signals of people who 'think' in a Glasgow accent. Often there were NO brain signals to work with but scientists do believe they...

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Funny story: Scientists closer to inventing mind-reading machine after brain wave breakthrough in Glasgow

Scientists closer to inventing mind-reading machine after brain wave breakthrough in Glasgow

Scientists in Scotland have announced they are close to unveiling their mind-reading machine in Glasgow. Apparently, at present the mind-reading machine is only able to read minds of people who 'think' and speak with a Glasgow accent. Unfortunate...

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Funny story: New Study Shows Left Brained People Just aren't Right

New Study Shows Left Brained People Just aren't Right

A new study published this month in the New England Journal of New England Medical Journals suggest that people who are predominately left brained are almost always first class ass holes. And to make matters worst the study shows they don't know they're ass holes either. So how can you, a person of impeccable standards, determine if you're left brained and consequently an ass hole? The first q...

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Funny story: Patient Cries: "I Was Forced To Do My Own Brain Surgery!"

Patient Cries: "I Was Forced To Do My Own Brain Surgery!"

Parched, Nevada - With a clumsily taped up and still oozing head wound, George Hardup of Las Vegas has pointed an accusatory finger at neurologist and all around generalized head and brain surgeon, Mr. Dr. Ronnie Elmstein, M.D. Ph.D, saying Dr. E...

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Funny story: Go Green Activists Have Actual Green Brains

Go Green Activists Have Actual Green Brains

New York - Researchers have discovered that environmentalists and other people who like to "Go Green" actually have a green brain. It has been speculated for the past several years that these types of people might have a green brain. Now, it's...

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Funny story: Scientists claim autistic brains function different?

Scientists claim autistic brains function different?

A study by a bunch of "nutty" Canadian scientists has proven that the autistic brain functions different, WOW! The world is so grateful that after all of these years of autistic studies, Dustin Hoffman and others who have similar health disparitie...

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Funny story: NanoChip Brain Implant Allows Users to Instantly Speak Foreign Language

NanoChip Brain Implant Allows Users to Instantly Speak Foreign Language

The first-ever nano-chip language translators are rolling off the assembly line and into cosmetic surgeons' offices quicker than you can say "Se Habla Espanol?" No longer will it be necessary for those wishing to learn a second or even third language...

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Funny story: The new 'touchy-feely' NFL

The new 'touchy-feely' NFL

NEW YORK - Now that the 2010 season is over, several new controversial changes are coming to a head for 2011, and fans aren't going to like them. In fact, some are saying this may be the end of American football as we know it. On March 4th, the c...

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