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Funny satire stories about Bears

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Funny story: Jarhead, the Florida bear is to become the first bear Astronaut to walk on the moon!

Jarhead, the Florida bear is to become the first bear Astronaut to walk on the moon!

After getting his head stuck in a jar, a black bear residing in Florida has been chosen to fly into space! A NASA scientist observing the bear in its stressful situation immediately contracted it to fly on Apollo 113 (who?) for a trip to the moon...

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Funny story: Mama Bear Euthanized (Killed)

Mama Bear Euthanized (Killed)

Real sad news for bear lovers this morning, as news emerges that the Mama bear whose cub got caught up in a camper's fishing net (as seen on worldwide TV) has been euthanized. Killed. Put down. Poor ole Momma Bear, who went on the offensive...

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Funny story: Bear attacks prove to be wild poodles

Bear attacks prove to be wild poodles

Montana wild life officials now claim that the animal attacks once thought to be bear attacks were really wild poodles. These attacks that killed one and injured two were first reported as being grizzly bears. One of the park rangers, an avid p...

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Funny story: Downeaster News: Hot Breaking Snippets from Coastal Maine #2

Downeaster News: Hot Breaking Snippets from Coastal Maine #2

Raging Bear Attacks House of Noted Outdoorsman and Lives! Tunk Lake Road, Somewhere in Downeast Maine. There was a near tragedy to the professional painting community early this morning which was narrowly avoided when a crazed 450 pound brown bear attacked the home of Willard Hardy and was driven off with out suffering a scratch. Willard also survived the confrontation, but said he was lef...

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Funny story: Seven car pile up on the A30 near Okehampton caused by bear (?) 12 Girl Guides injured

Seven car pile up on the A30 near Okehampton caused by bear (?) 12 Girl Guides injured

OKEHAMPTON, Devon - Twelve tourists, all Girl Guides from Prestwick, were injured, three seriously enough to require hospitalization, in a seven car pile up on the Westbound A30, late Sunday afternoon. Nine others were treated, and released, at the...

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Funny story: Al Gore Attacked by Sexually Confused Bear

Al Gore Attacked by Sexually Confused Bear

Girdwood, Alaska - Al Gore, on a expedition to Alaska to study the effect of global warming on wildlife, was mauled by a temperamental bi-sexual bear. The incident happened while Mr. Gore was touring a wildlife sanctuary outside this small northern A...

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Funny story: Sarah Palin & Nigella Launch Alaskan Fur Fashion Line

Sarah Palin & Nigella Launch Alaskan Fur Fashion Line

Bear Trap, Alaska - America and Britain's two most powerful female media figures have teamed up to launch an exclusive range of luxury furs. Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin often touted her hunting abilities during her campaign for the American Vice-...

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Funny story: Bear Advice For Camping

Bear Advice For Camping

For those of you planning to go camping in the near future, here are some tips on what to do should a bear approach you and your family at your campsite: Prepare ahead of time. Take a neighbor's kid-they always want to go- and put some bacon grease on his pants cuffs and let him sleep closest to the tent flap. If you wake up and it's YOU a bear is sniffing, immediately shat your pants. Altho...

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Funny story: Paddington's Got a Brand New Bear

Paddington's Got a Brand New Bear

In celebration of the 50th birthday of Paddington Bear, the Cleavland Zoo announced today that they would be re-naming one of their bears, Paddington. His name up until now was Neil. Cleavland Zoo representative Barry Brown said that they had want...

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Funny story: Russian Dancing Bears Qualify for World Cup

Russian Dancing Bears Qualify for World Cup

The Organizing Committee for the FIFA U-20 World Cup met in Zurich yesterday under the leadership of FIFA vice-president and chairman Jack A. Warner who expressed his delight with the advanced status of the competition's organizational preparatio...

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Funny story: Big Brother 9 house to feature grizzly bears

Big Brother 9 house to feature grizzly bears

In an almost futile attempt to inject some life back into the tired Big Brother franchise Channel 4 have announced that BB9 contestants will face the additional challenge of fighting off hungry grizzly bears in the Diary Room.

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Funny story: Bear kills Hollywood handler

Bear kills Hollywood handler

Hollywood, Ca - (Bear-Faced Cheek Mess): In a clear case of mistaken identity a grizzly bear has killed his handler after mistaking him for Semi-Pro co-star Will Ferrell.

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Funny story: WWF Slams Stupid Baby Bears Names as "Irresponsible"

WWF Slams Stupid Baby Bears Names as "Irresponsible"

The World Wildlife Fund has slammed "irresponsible" zoos for naming their cutest additions with distasteful and degrading names. "This has got to stop." said WWF Spokesperson Lucy Lastic," These bears are becoming a laughing...

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Funny story: Animal Rights Activists Call for Killing of Bear

Animal Rights Activists Call for Killing of Bear

BERLIN -- Animal rights activists are demanding that a polar bear born last December at the Berlin Zoo, rejected by its mother and depending on humans to be raised, be killed. They claim Knut's cuteness is against his own animal rights and that...

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Funny story: Discovery of Caves on Mars Leads Scientists to Obvious Conclusion... Martian Bears.

Discovery of Caves on Mars Leads Scientists to Obvious Conclusion... Martian Bears.

Seven 'cave entrances' have been discovered on the surface of Mars by NASA's Odyssey space craft. The caves have excited the Scientific Community, who are very easily excited.

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Funny story: Feral bear attacks in New York hit epidemic proportions.

Feral bear attacks in New York hit epidemic proportions.

This young bear looks as though butter wouldn't melt in it's mouth but don't be decieved by the angeletic face and cuddly exterior, for this bear is a KILLER!!!...

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Funny story: Janet Jackson's Love Child: The First Picture

Janet Jackson's Love Child: The First Picture

Depsite denying allegations from and ex-brother in law that she has a child, pictures surfaced today of the now 18 year old "figment of someone's imagination" Jackson offspring The young adult bears a striking resemblance to Janet'...

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