In a stunning announcement of something we already knew, the nation's hedge fund managers have finally admitted that insider trading is at the heart of their business model. Mel Leber, chief investment officer for the BUH Holdings Hedge Fund Gro...
Tokyo - Minister of Finance, Kurtaklinger San, has announced a new bank will be in control of all Japanese banks. This new bank will also be taking over the other nations banks in quick succession. According to Kurtaklinger San spokesperson, Ningaw...
Patrick O'Malley, founder, President, Teller, Receptionist and Cleaner of O'Malley's Bank in McGillmara, Ireland, has demanded a financial bailout from the European Union. Without an immediate injection of cash the bank will collapse and take the...
The public today reacted with astonishment after RBS boss Stephen Hester defensively declared "I don't set my pay" and went on to disclose that obscene bonuses awarded to bankers were due to a shadowy cartel known only as 'societal norms'. The app...
"The robber burst through the doors and ordered us all to lie on the floor or else he'd shoot us," said Skweezola Bank customer Altima deNissan, adding, "It was horrible." According to police, the robbery was actually staged by the bank manager...
Police say a lone suspect escaped with dozens of "Next Window Please" placards during a tense bank robbery yesterday. "He rushed in when the bank was filled with customers," said First Insolvent Bank manager Libra-Fawn DeMedved. "He grabbed a stapl...
The US senate have accused a British bank, better known as "Home Suiting Biggest Criminals", of allowing billions of drug money and huge sums from banned nations such as Iran and North korea to slip through their fingers. The washing machines at the...
Industry spectators are heralding the end of the current economic recession due to a startling discovery made in the vaults of the prestigious Union Bank in Switzerland; namely, bonds, stocks, gold bullion and cash currencies to the value of CHF 6 tr...
'Piggy Party' a small toy company based in George Osborne's own parliamentary constituency of Tatton, Cheshire, was hailed by the Chancellor yesterday as a "shining example for small businesses." "Rather than sitting around waiting for handouts...
Dear Constituents I have had a very busy week and should really take a break away from the pressure of constituency work. But duty calls and, anyway, my wife thinks we should visit her mother in Macclesfield. My impending visit to Greece in time for their next bailout or complete exit from the Euro sounds like my best chance for fun before Parliament re-opens. By the way, explaining whe...
Former Prime Minister Tony Blair is wrong when he says we should not hang bankers in anger over the current financial mess, says a leading academic. In an interview with the Daily Telegraph today, Mr Blair defends the free market and liberal econo...
Mitt Romney today demonstrated a profound sense of the moment and just how severely in touch he can be with his audience in a speech before the U.S. Dressage Federation summer convention being held in the Cayman Islands over the past two months. It w...
After only just recovering from the Barclays interest rigging affair and the RBS/ Nat West computer failure, the banking system was thrown into confusion again today, by what experts were calling a "One in a million" occurrence. A near meltdown of th...
In a bold move announced today, the Government is setting up a board of inquiry to look into the boards of inquiry that they have already set up. Headed by a group of very important people, some of whom have beards and wear suits, the Inquiry Inqu...
With the news that Car Salesmen and Estate Agents are now more trusted than Banks a new initiative is under way to capitalise on the public mood. Car Salesman Sam Slammer is setting up in Ashby de la Douche High Street with opening offers of a sec...
Moves to have an inquiry into the running of Banks have come up against a brick wall. When faced by an inquiry no one can remember and no one is to blame. Amnesia in the higher echlons of society is rampant and some believe it is a virus that can...
Culture Secretary, Jeremy Hunt has spoken up for the whole Government in expressing admiration for the Chairman of Barclays, Marcus Agonise, over his decision to resign over the fiddling of interest rates by the Bank. 'He was the one in charge' de...
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