A man who was attacked by a crab, receiving a rather painful nip on the foot, reacted spontaeously and taught the beast a lesson it will never forget, for as long as it lives, which wasn't long. The man was sitting quietly minding his own business...
Rabbits are lovely, although a bit dimwitted, creatures, and don't always make the best pets due to their lack of interaction with their owners, but one family is celebrating their good fortune this evening after being presented with one of the lovab...
A man who was walking along without a care in the world, minding his own business, has revealed how he caused the death of a frog by standing on it. The man, who wishes to remain anonymous because of his fear of reprisals from Animal Rights enthus...
Noting that the current American food system inherently relies on the torture and exploitation of living, sentient beings in order to supply Americans' meat-heavy diet, U.S. President Donald Trump acknowledged that veganism is a social justice issue,...
Welcome to the second - and quite possibly, the last, if current interest is anything to go by - episode in our series about uninteresting animals. This week, I'm going to tell you a little bit about the Duck-billed Platypus, but only a little, be...
After several parishioners approached him asking what he thought of adopting a vegan lifestyle out of compassion for animals, Pastor Raymond Roberts of Crossroads Christian Church in Nashville, Tennessee, assured them that people of faith need not co...
Scientists who re-discovered a giant bee on an Indonesian island, have been told their find is "breathtakingly pointless, stupid, and a complete waste of time. And money", by social commentator, Moys Kenwood. The bee, a Wallace's giant bee, (Megac...
Succumbing to pressure from a community which has grown tired of the exploitation and abuse of animals, the Russian River Rodeo Association has voted 315 to 3 to replace their traditional affair this year with a "Virtual Rodeo." Using mechanical...
Nabiscuit, owner of Humbug's Animal Crackers, under pressure from the People for the Extermination of Animals (PETA), has done “the unthinkable,” Greg Shee Ann, the Acting Director of the United States Fish and Wildlife Service, whined. The compan...
A man out for an early morning stroll in the remote area of Tapon near Battambang, today told of a sight that he will never be able to 'unsee' - a creature with two heads! The creature was spotted by animal expert, Moys Kenwood, who lives in the a...
UN, New York, NY - Samir Braseer Alahumpidad, chairman of UNFART (United Nations Flying Animal Relief Travelers), held a press conference behind the UN building today at noon, holding the leash of his companion support dog as it relieved itself on th...
The animal kingdom: wild and wonderful, isn't it? Except when you're faced with a hungry tiger after you've strayed off the beaten path a little bit. Not so wonderful then, is it? Let's see you call it 'wonderful' then! But let's just say that we're just talking around the table in your local, out-of-the-way public house on a Sunday afternoon - or an evening - and someone brings up the subject...
Animals enter life fully prepared, with all necessary characteristics and instincts. In other words, they work like a PCM, punched card machine. All expertly and reliably wired up. But, alas, Homo sapiens need to acquire their workable applications externally. Of course, man's mind is not that empty. It's got a hard disk containing many old files, archives, gradually saved throughout centuries, b...
Fido, a smart dog, recently barked to a Spoof writer who understands dog talk. Fido's chief gripe was about the stupid things humans say. A few of Fido's examples of stupid comments by humans are given below, followed by an observation from the dog: He's so stupid he couldn't be elected dog catcher. "Uh, hello. Successful dog catchers are VERY smart." Good doggie. "Soooooooooooo condescendi...
Toronto - A local animal trainer for the Toronto Zoo suffered severe injuries when his tiger, Meeka, turned on him during a training session and gnawed his arms off. According to fellow workmates, the trainer, Peter Dawson, 38, routinely whipped Meek...
French Lick, Indiana - Duane Fick, 27, can assure the presiding judge in his upcoming trial that his beloved cat, Fuggles, is pissed-seriously pissed. And from what this reporter can gather, that piece of evidence seems to hold true. "Fuggles has nev...
As someone interested in boosting his own health and the health of the planet, health-conscious environmentalist Luke Jameson decided to kill two birds with one stone by going vegan. Luke was first inspired to go vegan when he learned that animal...
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