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Funny story: Isle Of Wight Factoids - 10 Things You Didn't Know

Isle Of Wight Factoids - 10 Things You Didn't Know

1) The Isle of Wight contains less prisoners per head of the population than Alcatraz or San Quentin. 2) Despite over one hundred movies about daring escapes from The Isle of Wight, only one person, Harry Houdiney is known to have successfully escaped and lived to tell the tale in 1955. 3) How big was the average b and b room in 1943? Each single room was 5 feet by 9 feet. Double rooms ha...

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Funny story: Rolling Stone Magazine Poll: Top 5 Kazoo Players of All Time

Rolling Stone Magazine Poll: Top 5 Kazoo Players of All Time

Rolling Stone Magazine released its final poll of top musicians. This poll started with guitar players and went through 68 different instruments including top autoharp and top wax on tissue paper to reach the ultimate list. The list: 5. Yara DaSilva, kazoo at the end of Dionne Warwick's "This Girl's in Love With You. 4. Reece on Steal My Body Home by Beck. 3. Jake of the Nitty Gritty D...

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Funny story: Here are 25 things you never want to say on a first date

Here are 25 things you never want to say on a first date

Here's a list of things you shouldn't say on a first date, particularly if you want a second date. To be nonsexist, I've included some things for the ladies, too. Of course, if you're not interested in the person and want nothing to do with them after the first date, this could be a guide to "what to say on a first date": 1) I had venereal disease a few times, but not to worry, my doctor gave m...

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Funny story: Twenty Signs to tell you that you are Dead

Twenty Signs to tell you that you are Dead

1. You think 'your' thoughts are worse than anybody else's. You have not thought about where 'your' thoughts have come from. 2. You are scared the people you respect and who respect you may find out and abandon you. 3. Killing people is okay, you believe, and your favourite movies are all about heroes and the relentless murder they bring. 4. You think sex is love because that is what they...

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Funny story: Ten Signs to tell you may be "Over the Hill"

Ten Signs to tell you may be "Over the Hill"

(1) You pick up speed. You find yourself singing "Where have all the flowers gone?" at taxi ramps. Or, "When I was twenty-one it was a very good year...." . People hide their children and move away from you because they think you have Ebola. (2) Girls don't find you attractive any more. They call you "an interesting man" but only to strangers who wonder how you can walk unaided, the way an astr...

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Funny story: Ten signs to tell she is cheating on you

Ten signs to tell she is cheating on you

If you spot one of the following signs you need to have a long talk with your partner. If you spot more than two you should pack your things immediately and take a long holiday. If you spot all ten, and are still alive and living with your partner, you should seek urgent, psychiatric help. 1."Shouts of "Stop it! Stop it!" coming from your bedroom. And when you open the door you find her reading...

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Funny story: 10 Ways To Fool Your Neighbours

10 Ways To Fool Your Neighbours

1)Spray a place mat with matt black paint - abracadabra!! - its an expensive Ipad to walk out of your door with. 2)Make the people next door think you are having a glamorous "Hog Roast" garden party by getting a large road kill fox and roasting it over 4 portable barbecues. 3)Make people think you have a posh car by offering Porsche owners free parking in your drive while they go to work on...

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Funny story: Ten Differences Between Australian Life And British Life

Ten Differences Between Australian Life And British Life

New to Australia? Here's our survival guide for your "New life in the sun" : 1) Don't rush into the nearest bit of sea, a shark will kill you. 2) Don't valiantly remove a spider from your pretty neighbour's bath, it will sink its deadly fangs into you and you will have 20 minutes to get an antidote or or it will kill you. 3) Don't leave your baby in her pram while you sunbathe, Dingos (pois...

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Funny story: The Top-Ten Best Selling Singles of All Time

The Top-Ten Best Selling Singles of All Time

THE TOP TEN BEST SELLING SINGLES OF ALL TIME ARE AS FOLLOWS: 1. If you leave me, I will kill myself. 2. If you don't leave me, I will kill myself. 3. I can't live without you. Until I get over it. 4. I would want to kill you if you ever left me but, as I am such a nice guy, I must spare you. 5. The first time ever I saw your face, I thought the Sun rose in your eyes. Now that you've...

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Funny story: Top Ten Weird Laws in Tennessee

Top Ten Weird Laws in Tennessee

Following are some weird laws from earlier Tennessee and have not been written off the list, so beware if you're visiting Dollywood or the Smoky Mountains. 1. No going bare in Bear Territory. We have lost too many of our citizens to still sleepy bears in the Spring. 2. A lightning storm while on the mountain is pretty but you should get down as soon as possible as there is no way of not stan...

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Funny story: Top Ten New Radio Formats

Top Ten New Radio Formats

If you are sick and tired of "Brandy, You're A Fine Girl or "You're 16, You're Beautiful and You're Mine", you might want to try these new Radio Formats coming in the next month or so: 1. Bagpipes For Making Out 2. Amish Silence With Frog Calls and Crickets 3. The All-Night Static Station for those Who are Nostalgic 4. From Yoda To Yoko 5. Twilight Time for Transvestites 6.

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Funny story: TWERK: Top Ten Things To Consider Before You Twerk!

TWERK: Top Ten Things To Consider Before You Twerk!

10 Riding on a horse has similar moves but the horse may not know what you're doing up there. 9. If you have a big butt, be careful you don't clear the floor! 8 Do not attempt if you have artificial hip or knee. 7. Check for "Wet Floor" signs. 6. Look around and be sure Kim Kardashian is not dancing there. 5. If you're a guy and it makes you feel gay, just do something else.

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Funny story: Five Important Things I Have Learned In Life' (So You Don't Make Same Mistakes)

Five Important Things I Have Learned In Life' (So You Don't Make Same Mistakes)

During our dinner date, I took what I thought was my heart medication. Within 30 minutes I realized I had committed a colossal boner. I think the saddest thing about a guy falling asleep at the wheel and dying is that in all likelihood, the last thing on earth he heard was Yanni on the radio. I'd never make it on one of those Survivor shows. Every time I think about eating somethi...

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Funny story: Ten Simple Ways To Lose Weight Guaranteed!

Ten Simple Ways To Lose Weight Guaranteed!

These Top Ten Ways to lose weight are easy as falling off a log. (Guess I better take that one off). 1. Always sleep on a vibrating bed. 2. Go Over A Fence that has a warning sign, "Dozen Bulls Horny Here!" 3. Crap on your food. 4. Easiest Push-Ups! (Pushing Up Daisies) 5. Snack on salted packing peanuts! 6. When introducing yourself at 'Get Acquainted Singles Meet', "Hello, my n...

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Funny story: Foods Our Mom Made Us Eat That We Tried to Feed to the Dog

Foods Our Mom Made Us Eat That We Tried to Feed to the Dog

1. beef liver 2. brussel sprouts 3. canned spinach 4. Hamburger Helper 5. boiled canned peas 6. okra 7. pickled beets 8. gizzards 9. liverwurst 10. lima beans 11. pickled pig's feet 12. prunes 13. pickled herring 14. turnips 15. beef brains 16. greasy cheesy hamburgers 17. sardines 18. octopus 19. venison 20. limburger ch...

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Funny story: 10 Things Men Can Do Better Than Women

10 Things Men Can Do Better Than Women

1. grow beards and mustaches, chest and back hair 2. snore so loudly it can be heard two doors down 3. hunt and fish in the summer, winter, spring, and fall 4. play 18 holes of golf at the same golf course for 30+ years 5. break wind so loud it can be heard two doors down 6. change flat tires, oil, spark plugs, fuel filter, transmission fluid... 7. belch so loud it can be...

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Funny story: 10 Things Women Can Do Better Than Men

10 Things Women Can Do Better Than Men

1. polish their toe nails while talking on the phone, eating a cheeseburger, and yelling at the kids 2. exercise at the gym without breaking a sweat 3. wear pointy, painful high heels all day 4. shop in all 500 stores at the Mall of America during one visit 5. pick out birthday, anniversary, Christmas, Valentine's, and Mother's Day gifts for themselves and everyone else 6. tr...

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