Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, who is alleged to have tried to blow up a Northwest Airlines flight from Amsterdam to Detroit on Christmas Day, says it's all a bad mistake. 'It was a mix-up in the laundry', Abdulmutallab said during a press briefing.
Washington AC/DC - (Les Jeux Sont Faits): Special Branch top brass shrugged off today the Yuletide 'Nigerian syringe bomber' story as yet another Tory Party masterpiece. Umar Farouk Abdelmutallab has taken the rap for the latest Bullingdon Club ou...
A Nigerian radical Muslim, attempting to blow up a US plane in Detriot, has caused a major breach in security. The US were even warned by the Loonies father about his desire to enter the US and do some damage, but as usual, it was ignored. Umar...
Washington, D.C. - History has repeated itself as the failed terror attack in Detroit has shown eerie similarities to the security failures leading up to 9/11. Like the Phoenix e-mail memo warning of the 9/11 terrorists flight training was ignored,...
In the headlines today is Umy Faloukin Tummysbad, the son of the most honest banker in Nigeria, who was reported as setting off an incendiary device on an airliner when he went to the toilet with a joint. The airlines and press had been instructed...
Detroit - (Big Bang Theories): A crude Yemeni explosive device strapped onto a Nigerian student's leg failed to down a Northwest Airlines flight with 278 passengers and 11 crew on board. Umar Farouk Abdul Mutallab, a 23 year-old student of pyrotec...
Potential suicide bomber Ali Von Bastard was stopped dead in his tracks today by his mom as he set out to wreak havoc on the world. "And where do you think you're going dressed like that?" Mrs Von Bastard called from the kitchen as she prepared du...
In a surprise announcement today Bumbling Airlines has announced that it will use scab cabincrew supplied by Al-Qaeda to guarantee its scheduled flights over the Christmas period. A spokesman for the union stated: "We understand the twelve day str...
"In the Night Garden": A relaxing jaunt to a fantasy world for babies and young children, with loveable, quirky characters and high quality music and effects, broadcast at bedtime on the BBC. Or is it a shocking documentary compiled from actual footage taken by agents of the British Goverment showing the results of nazi-style experiments on innocent victims of the war on terror? Iggle Piggl...
London, UK - Conspiracy theorists and anti-terror diehards have called on the Parliament to reinstate the UFO hotline or else risk sending the wrong message to terrorists and extraterrestrials. "Terrorists will read this and see that the UK is no...
Deep in the Mountains of Pakistan: Osama Bin Laden gave a rare press interview today to members of the international media. Commenting on the Obama Administration's decision to try the mastermind of the 9-11 Attacks, Khalid Sheik Mohammed, in civili...
President Barrack Obama is trying to calm Americans fears that home grown terrorists now threaten Americans at home. He has assured the public that the suspect in the shooting was not a "terrorist", but a hunter that became confused and thought the...
Notorious, cave-dwelling villain Osama Bin Laden has broken a long silence to express his fury over "Jedward" beating his personal favourite, Lucie Jones, to stay in X-factor. "This is what happens when you give everybody the right to vote. Jedwar...
In an ever more desperate attempt to ease post-colonial guilt and show the magnanimous virtues of free society, a vote will come before the Commons today on whether honour killings should be legalized. Nick Griffin, happy to speak on the behalf o...
A woman who planned on detonating stink bombs on the London Underground system told jurors at the Old Bailey today that she called off the attack at the last minute because she wasn't altogether sure that she'd closed the kitchen window, or left wate...
PORTLAND, Maine - Authorities in Portland have arrested Mustifini Allahfut, a known Iraqi terrorist. Allahfut, who is 42, and speaks broken English as well as broken Iraqi was charged with planning to blow up the Atlantic Ocean. Detective Murra...
Sudbury, Massachusetts - (Rotters): Entering a Not Guilty plea today Mehanna claimed the only support material he had ever had his hands on was some imported lilac Spandex used in the manufacture of maternity brassieres. However FBI sources claim...
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