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Funny story: New Metropolitan Police Chief Arrives At Scotland Yard

New Metropolitan Police Chief Arrives At Scotland Yard

Chief Constable Stanley Unwin arrived at the Yard this morning eager to get into his new office and start policing London "His way". This reporter, armfeetandtoe, was granted an exclusive interview with Unwin. armfeetandtoe: What do you think you will bring to the job? Unwin: Excitmo, the thrum of policibol politicli never interweedlo with the fabricol of plodmost independ. armfeetandt...

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Funny story: Mass Murderer Digs Up Police

Mass Murderer Digs Up Police

Mass murderer Peter Tobin, has spent the night digging in his garden in an attempt to try and find police. Mr.Tobin explained. "The police came here some time ago to dig for my victims and now the police have gone missing. They are not pinning thi...

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Funny story: The Raoul Moat early release from jail scheme, may have to be "accepted" by the public

The Raoul Moat early release from jail scheme, may have to be "accepted" by the public

HM Probation Service, London: As part of attempts to keep down the cost of the criminal justice system, the probation watchdog has suggested that Murders and other serious crimes committed by prisoners such as Raoul Moat, released early from jail, m...

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Funny story: Police train for alternative employment

Police train for alternative employment

Police are preparing for inevitable cutbacks in the force by developing skills whilst still serving. The latest idea is to become skilled gardeners and they are digging gardens to practice for this valuable task. 'You never know, we might find...

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Funny story: BBC to honour Raoul Moat by building a moat around Broadcasting House

BBC to honour Raoul Moat by building a moat around Broadcasting House

The BBC has announced it is to construct a moat around its central London offices as a tribute to Raoul Moat. The moat is to be filled with the crocodile tears cried by BBC and Guardian journalists, members of the Northumberland Police service and...

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Funny story: Police Do Care

Police Do Care

The Joplin Police Department reported finding a man's body last Saturday in the Spring River near the Empire Electric Plant. The dead man's name was withheld and will not be released until his immediately family had been properly notified. The nam...

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson And Kristen Stewart Help The Police With Their Enquiries

Robert Pattinson And Kristen Stewart Help The Police With Their Enquiries

Twilight stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have been helping The Police with their enquiries recently, writes Lettie S Beavanu, Popular Vampire Films & Police Affairs Correspondent. It all came about as recently as recently while the...

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Funny story: Psychic Octopus In Hunt For Moat

Psychic Octopus In Hunt For Moat

In the last week, Northumbria police have called on criminal psychologists and survival experts to help them locate suspected killer Raoul Moat, without success. But then, octopus keeper Hans Acht, at the german Sea Life centre put an ordnance su...

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Funny story: Biffa Bacon's Fatha Arrested

Biffa Bacon's Fatha Arrested

The Police have arrested and then released hundreds of Geordie "hard men", including Biffa Bacon's Fatha, in the hunt for Ronald Stoat. Police looking for Stoat faced an almost impossible task because he looks exactly like hundreds of other Geordi...

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Funny story: Police Close Off Northern England "Mad Zone"

Police Close Off Northern England "Mad Zone"

Access to Northern England has been cut today while police wait for all the mad people to calm down Only last week, the Council for Northern England announced last week that Cumbria and Northumbria are Britain's favourite locations for going insa...

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Funny story: Police and Special Forces invade Katie Price's Wedding

Police and Special Forces invade Katie Price's Wedding

Armed police and special forces swooped on the wedding ceremony of Katie Price and Alex Reid yesterday, following speculation that Osama bin Laden had been invited to the event. The blessing between Price and cage-fighter, Reid, took place at St.

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Funny story: M62 Traffic Chaos is a false alARM

M62 Traffic Chaos is a false alARM

Traffic in the Northwest of England on the busy M62 motorway towards Liverpool was brought to a standstill yesterday when police closed the road to investigate a severed arm on the carriageway. The arm had been spotted by passing motorists in the...

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Funny story: Arizona's New Training Plan for Cops

Arizona's New Training Plan for Cops

Arizona released it's new training program which is designed to instruct cops on how to enforce the new anti-illegal immigration statutes without actually arresting illegal immigrants. A video and supporting course work has been sent to Arizona po...

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Funny story: Police dogs to replace Community Officers

Police dogs to replace Community Officers

An audit of West Mercia police has discovered that out of a workforce of over 4000 there may be as little as zero police on active duty at any one time. The national audit commission made a surprise visit to the Hindlip Hall HQ in Worcester last F...

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Funny story: UK Police Numbers Set To Plummet

UK Police Numbers Set To Plummet

Home Secretary, Theresa Might, has announced measures to drastically reduce Police numbers and red tape in the wake of the recent public sector cuts. Presenting at the Police annual conference in Manchester she told delegates "Unlike New Labour, w...

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Funny story: Google Voice Popular with Undercover Cops

Google Voice Popular with Undercover Cops

What better way to transcribe a conversation with a drug dealer, than to hook up your police duty cell phones to the new Google Voice service. Many undercover cops looking for ways to compile more evidence against the bad guys, are doing exactly tha...

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Funny story: New Police Vehicles to be tested in Nottingham

New Police Vehicles to be tested in Nottingham

Reporter Inchcock Chambers interviews the Chief Constable of Nottingham, Knitty Poo, who said "The cost of the vehicles will save a lot of money that can be used in other fields of out activities. We already have a crucially short supply of monopoly...

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