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Funny story: UK Independence Party Holds Secret Meeting of Executive Committee

UK Independence Party Holds Secret Meeting of Executive Committee

UKIP has convened a secret meeting of the party's executive committee in a beach hut in Morecambe. UKIP National Secretary Britony Albion agreed to talk to this reporter on the seafront. "We wanted to hold the meeting as far away from Europe as p...

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Funny story: UK Budget details

UK Budget details

The Chancer of the Exchequer, Alice Thedarling, announced his budget today. Being slightly hard of hearing, he made the announcement from Fred's Pet Shop, originally thinking the Prime Minister asked him to announce his new budgie. Opening his tat...

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Funny story: So that those bastard politicians can drag it all out again whilst smarming about

So that those bastard politicians can drag it all out again whilst smarming about

I hope that it is acceptable to the Editor to quote a line written by Chris James as my headline. I applaud his excellent article on our brave soldiers. Our brave young men are fighting a war thousands of mile away from home. Some will lose their lives and many will be physicaly injured. Others will suffer from mental health problems. The young soldier who could not forget killing one other man...

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Funny story: UK House of Commons in uproar over heelgate scandal

UK House of Commons in uproar over heelgate scandal

As election fever sweeps the House of Commons and Hairbrush Dave plots with Tebbit the rottweiler a heelish scandal was exposed by Labour MP, Dennis Skinner reports our fashion editor Heidi "cheil" Heald. Rocking on his heels, a sure sign that soo...

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Funny story: UK election on a knife edge - polls say a hung parliament.

UK election on a knife edge - polls say a hung parliament.

Hairbrush Dave, leader of the Conservative Party in the UK is a worried man. Gordon Brown is closing the gap in the polls by the day. "We must think of new strategies to fool the dummy electors" he told Lord Tebbit, henchman and bloodhound of Magg...

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Funny story: Daughter of British Indian man missing

Daughter of British Indian man missing

In a completely coincidental, unfortunate turn of events, a missing British Indian boy has been found safe and well in India at an uncle's house (named locally as Jeera) watching slumdog millionaire and eating chicken tikka masala and a peshwari naan...

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Funny story: Gordon Brown and David Cameron discuss Merge

Gordon Brown and David Cameron discuss Merge

Shock was the prevailing air around Westminster today as Gordon Brown and David Cameron further participated in talks to become the same person. Labour and the Conservatives, much criticised for their respective moves toward the centre ground of...

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Funny story: New government campaign targets spontaneous human combustion

New government campaign targets spontaneous human combustion

Costing 3 billion pounds, the new hard-hitting government safety campaign, aimed at cutting fatalities from spontaneous human combustion, will show a man whistling nonchalantly like some kind of idiot while smoke rises all around him. Featuring th...

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Funny story: Brown: Third Way will Last 1,000 Years

Brown: Third Way will Last 1,000 Years

In a long awaited press conference Gordon Brown, our beloved leader and saviour of mankind today announced New Labour's Plans for a fourth glorious term in office. In his speech he harked back to Labour's initial victory in 1997 by quoting from th...

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Funny story: Vision Impaired Politicians PM Brown and NY Gov. Paterson Snared in Continuing Allegations of Bullying!

Vision Impaired Politicians PM Brown and NY Gov. Paterson Snared in Continuing Allegations of Bullying!

Psychologists studying the idiot behaviour of both PM Gordon Brown, and New York Governor David Paterson have concluded that besides both being visually impaired, they seem to have much deeper rooted handicaps lodged into their psyche and more com...

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Funny story: Jeremy Kyle Hosts TV First

Jeremy Kyle Hosts TV First

In a press conference earlier today it was revealed that voters will be given a chance to see the three main political party leaders debate live on TV next month, ahead of the long overdue General Election. The recently appointed Popularity Tsar,...

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Funny story: No culture of bullying says New Labour

No culture of bullying says New Labour

Following from allegations over the weekend that calls were made to an anti-bullying help-line from workers at Number 10, the Labour government has been quick to quash rumours that there is a culture of bullying at Downing Street. In a press confe...

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Funny story: Wrong Sort of Chaps Running The Place These Days

Wrong Sort of Chaps Running The Place These Days

In a candid interview with The Telegraph today, outgoing Tory MP, Sir Rhodes D'Oblivion, condemned the lack of decent sorts in top positions these days. "There's just not enough decent chaps in parliament," he told the reporter from the comfort of...

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Funny story: Which politicians are going to cry most before the election and who are going to cry most after the election?

Which politicians are going to cry most before the election and who are going to cry most after the election?

It would turn your stomach the depths these unscrupulous bastards will go to to get sympathy votes from the electorate. As the General Election draws nearer more and more of them are in the news crying out for your votes it started with Alastair C...

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Funny story: For Fox Sake Don't Let Cameron Take Number 10

For Fox Sake Don't Let Cameron Take Number 10

With suggestions that secret plans are afoot to bring back fox hunting if the Tories get back into power it is imperative that we don't allow Cameron to win his race to the top seat at number 10. Some political activists within Cameron's constitu...

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Funny story: Government Fear Mongering Costs British Economy £30bn A Year

Government Fear Mongering Costs British Economy £30bn A Year

Government Fear Mongering costs the UK £30bn every year - more than twice as much as previously thought. Propaganda evasion has risen to £15.2bn a year with waking up to reality costing £1.1bn annually. In fact the public sector is the worst hi...

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Funny story: Class War Inevitable

Class War Inevitable

The government has today announced war on the upper and middle classes. In an attempt to win over its traditional voters Gordon Brown has ordered the army to surround all the royal residences and to shoot anyone carrying a sceptre Furthermore typical...

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