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Funny story: Jesus Not to Return

Jesus Not to Return

NEW YORK -- In a move that is confounding both believers and unbelievers alike, Jesus announced today that he is canceling his previously scheduled return to earth. In a surprisingly candid and informal interview with the world press at the United N...

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Funny story: Jesus in Latest Gallup Poll

Jesus in Latest Gallup Poll

Pollster: Excuse me, sir. Jesus: I forgive you.

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Funny story: Blair installs 'ATMs for Jesus'-style cash machines for wannabee peers

Blair installs 'ATMs for Jesus'-style cash machines for wannabee peers

London, UK - (Associated Mess): Impressed by the success of the novel way in which traditional Sunday collection plates at US churches and places of worship have been replaced by the Jesus ATMs, UK Prime Monster Tony Blair has decided to by-pass th...

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Funny story: Vatican Displays Bones of Jesus Christ While 'Da Vinci Code' Rakes in $224 Million

Vatican Displays Bones of Jesus Christ While 'Da Vinci Code' Rakes in $224 Million

THE VATICAN (UPI)--Reacting angrily to the $224 million gross worldwide opening of the "The Da Vinci Code" movie, Pope Benedict XVI dismissed its plot of a Catholic cover-up by publicly displaying the bones of Jesus Christ, which he said had been sto...

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Funny story: Gospel of Judas: Selections

Gospel of Judas: Selections

Fresno, CA: Following fast on the heels of the commercial success of the Da Vinci Code and forty three books about Mary Magdalene, news of the finished translation of a gospel attributed to Judas Iscariot, known to history as the betrayer of Jesus,...

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Funny story: Christ Dominates Disciples' Bracket Pool

Christ Dominates Disciples' Bracket Pool

JERUSALEM - Jesus Christ, the son of God and knower of all things, is dominating this year's disciples' NCAA bracket pool, reports disciple Simon, who is called Peter.

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Funny story: Jesus breaks silence on Kanye West

Jesus breaks silence on Kanye West

After months of simple "No comments," Jesus has officially commented on the Rolling Stone magazine cover upon which writer/producer/rapper Kanye West is portrayed as Him. "There's so much more going on in the world worth my attention - hurricanes, tsunamis, earthquakes, nukes in North Korea and Iran, the Iraq War, bird flu, and Brad/Angelina - but all anyone ever wants to...

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Funny story: Jesus' Great Escape

Jesus' Great Escape

An ancient parchment, recently discovered near Nazareth has been condemned by church leaders as a hoax. Carbon dating proves the document to be approximately 2000 years old. If proved beyond a doubt to be genuine, the whole Christian religion faces ruin. The document takes the form of a letter and although the signature (which has yet to be verified by experts) reads "Big J", som...

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Funny story: HHH vs Jesus: Who is the real "king of kings"

HHH vs Jesus: Who is the real "king of kings"

Stanford,Conn-Wrestlemania is the WWE's version of the superbowl. It the event where the biggest matches are shown on the grandest stage. And no match is bigger than the one announced at WWE headquarters this week. HHH is one of the WWE's top...

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Funny story: Pope Benedict XVI To Change Name To Pope Jesus

Pope Benedict XVI To Change Name To Pope Jesus

The Pope has announced he will change his name after admitting that his current title "Benedict XVI" just isn't "catchy enough to make an impression on the world stage". He now wishes to be addressed instead as "His Holin...

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Funny story: Jesus Saves at Wal-Mart!

Jesus Saves at Wal-Mart!

Laurel, Md. - Someone special has been shopping at the Wal-Mart at 3549 Russett Green in Laurel. This past Thursday, none other than Jesus Christ, the Son of God, was again seen pushing His cart through the store's broad aisles. This has become a r...

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Funny story: George Bush Claims He is Descended from Jesus Christ and Akhnaten and is Not "Human Trash"

George Bush Claims He is Descended from Jesus Christ and Akhnaten and is Not "Human Trash"

WASHINGTON (AP)-President George Bush returned from the fourth Summit of the Americas held in Mar del Plata, Argentina on Monday with his tail between his legs, stung at being called "human trash" by Argentine soccer legend Diego Maradona, and called...

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Funny story: Mel Gibson Time Travel Goes Awry

Mel Gibson Time Travel Goes Awry

In yet another case of mankind developing technology that exceeds its collective wisdom to manage, Lethal Weapon star and emerging director Mel Gibson was today, accidentally, transported to 4 B.C. Gibson's "encounter" with Jesus (la...

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Funny story: Bush Renounces God

Bush Renounces God

Senior White House staff members were left in a state of stunned silence Saturday when President Bush, in a rare display of lucidity and erudition, told a gathering of evangelical Christian leaders that Jesus and God were "illusions" and wo...

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Funny story: The Madonna Miffed With Popeparazzi

The Madonna Miffed With Popeparazzi

"What am I, a saint?" moans Mary, mother of Jesus of Nazareth. "Why do these sketch artists and sculptors keep stalking me, trying to reproduce my image on canvas and stone? Their flashing torches are half-blinding me!"...

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Funny story: The Best Little Missionary Discussion in Texas

The Best Little Missionary Discussion in Texas

The following is not a joke. This really happened to me when I was a Missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (the Mormon Church) over twenty years ago. The experience occurred right after I was transferred into a small town in Texas as a missionary in the early 1980’s. I have changed the names of the city, my companion, and the member of the Bishopric to save some people...

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Funny story: Jesus Lives...!!!

Jesus Lives...!!!

Baton Rouge, Louisiana, 31st August 2005.

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