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Funny satire stories about Football (American)

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Funny story: 2010 Philadelphia Eagles: "Hi, I'm new here. And you are...?"

2010 Philadelphia Eagles: "Hi, I'm new here. And you are...?"

Philadelphia Eagles' head coach Andy Reid has been jumping around like a rhino in a tutu all spring, telling anyone who'll listen that the team feels invigorated by the influx of new faces. 39 of them, in fact, with 13 being draft picks. And on an 80...

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Funny story: Eagles' Lurie on Kolb vs. Vick: "Why Use a Hammer When You Own a Nail-Gun?"

Eagles' Lurie on Kolb vs. Vick: "Why Use a Hammer When You Own a Nail-Gun?"

Philadelphia Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie finally called head coach Andy Reid to task for selecting QB Kevin Kolb to start over ASPCA F--khead Of The Decade Michael Vick, characterizing it as an issue of "Using a hammer when you own a nail-gun." "Wi...

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Funny story: The Super Bowl Champion New Orleans Saints To Change Their Name To The New Orleans Tar Saints

The Super Bowl Champion New Orleans Saints To Change Their Name To The New Orleans Tar Saints

NEW ORLEANS - Tom Benson, owner of The Super Bowl winners the New Orleans Saints has just announced that he has decided to change the name of his NFL football team Benson, who owns several Chevrolet dealerships in San Antonio, along with 782 Taco...

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Funny story: American Super-football roundup

American Super-football roundup

Today, the Atlanta Badgers face the Denver Leopards in a nail-biting crunch-down for the Super-bowl title. In other news, the Los Angeles Pigeons and the New York Hamsters will face-off in a nail-biting slam-up for the Super-bowl title. And if you...

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Funny story: Touchdown Jesus protests World Cup

Touchdown Jesus protests World Cup

A "warning from the Lord" was revealed this week in Monroe, Ohio, says a minister in nearby Ohnoes. Touchdown Jesus, a 60-foot plastic foam and fiberglass statue with arms raised high like a football referee, went up in smoke on June 14 when lightni...

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Funny story: Chad Ochocinco Scores With Dancing With The Stars' Cheryl Burke

Chad Ochocinco Scores With Dancing With The Stars' Cheryl Burke

CINCINNATI - The star receiver for the Cincinnati Bengals Chad Ochocinco was in Cincy and his Dancing With The Stars partner was in Vegas but "85" says that the two will be together soon. While on DWTS Chad showered Cheryl with very, nice, expensi...

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Funny story: New Jersey to Host 2014 Super Bowl, Soprano Stars Rejoice

New Jersey to Host 2014 Super Bowl, Soprano Stars Rejoice

"I made them an offer they couldn't refuse," boasted Tony Soprano, when it was announced by the National Football League on Tuesday that the 2014 Super Bowl would indeed be held at the New Meadowlands Stadium in NJ. Fortunately, folks who will...

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Funny story: The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders 2010 Calendar Hits The Stores

The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders 2010 Calendar Hits The Stores

DALLAS - A spokesperson for the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders has just informed the sports media that the brand new 2010 Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Calendar has hit the new stands and book stores. The 12 monthly photos were taken by noted naked cal...

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Funny story: Ben Roethlisberger Opens Charm School

Ben Roethlisberger Opens Charm School

Two time Super Bowl winning quarterback Ben Roethlisberger of the Pittsburgh Steelers has recently opened a charm school for athletes. Located in downtown Pittsburgh near several bars and adult cabarets, the sign outside the door simply reads, "Ben R...

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Funny story: Ravens' Loss Results in Lack of Ice Cream

Ravens' Loss Results in Lack of Ice Cream

The Baltimore Ravens lost a detrimental game Sunday against the Pittsburgh Steelers, and the loss was primarily due to mental errors and costly 4th quarter penalties. It went without saying that head coach John Harbaugh's promise to take the team out...

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Funny story: Charges Against Cheerleader Implicated in "TattooGate" Turn Out To Be Unfounded

Charges Against Cheerleader Implicated in "TattooGate" Turn Out To Be Unfounded

DALLAS - A prominent football organization has issued a statement to the national media stating that the rumor about one of their cheerleaders being involved with Jesse James "TattooGate" scandal is totally without basis. Agnes Lulu Webbsnicker sp...

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Funny story: Down the Rabbit Hole, Part One (How the World Would Be Different if the Thirteen Colonies Had Lost Their War for Independence)

Down the Rabbit Hole, Part One (How the World Would Be Different if the Thirteen Colonies Had Lost Their War for Independence)

What if the Thirteen Colonies had been unsuccessful in their attempts (almost 250 years ago) to gain their independence from Mother England? How different would our world be today? Down the Rabbit Hole, Part One Sports "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. This is Howard Cosell coming to you live from Redcoat Soldier Field in Chicago, New Liverpool. I'm joined by my good friend, Dandy Don...

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Funny story: Ben Roethlisberger and the Letter 'R'

Ben Roethlisberger and the Letter 'R'

Despite what is nearly overwhelming evidence, it has now been decided that Pittsburgh Steelers QB, Ben Roethlisberger, will not be forced to face down the dreaded 'R' word. What's more, while he may well be guilty of 'R', his punishment will likely b...

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Funny story: Glazer Plans to Unite Teams

Glazer Plans to Unite Teams

Owner of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Manchester United sports teams, Malcolm Glazer, today announced formal plans to merge the franchises into a single entity. The scheme includes splicing in players from both Soccer and American Football to create...

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Funny story: Red Devil Malcolm Glazer to pick Susan Boyle in Upcoming NFL Draft

Red Devil Malcolm Glazer to pick Susan Boyle in Upcoming NFL Draft

The world's best known slumlord and most hated pro sports owner, Malcolm Glazer, hinted that the Tampa Bay Buccaneers will select Susan Boyle with their first pick in this Aprils NFL draft. Denying that the move was cost related the 21st century's ve...

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Funny story: The NFL's Chad Ochocinco Scores Three Touchdowns With Dancing With The Stars Cheryl Burke

The NFL's Chad Ochocinco Scores Three Touchdowns With Dancing With The Stars Cheryl Burke

HOLLYWOOD - NFL reporters, writers, and critics alike are all in agreement that the Cincinnati Bengals' Chad Ochocinco scored a touchdown, or actually three TDs on Dancing With The Stars. "El 85" danced with the sexy-looking two-time DWTS champion...

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Funny story: Soccer is not football! says N.F.L.

Soccer is not football! says N.F.L.

"Unless they want to find themselves the subject of a huge lawsuit, they better knock off using the word 'football' for their wussy game and this includes 'futbol', as well." This statement was attributed to Knute Redknuckle, the football commission...

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