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Funny satire stories about Death

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Funny story: Fat Bastards told to diet or die

Fat Bastards told to diet or die

A group of fat bastards have been told by their doctors that they must stat losing weight immediately or risk ending up dying of fatness. A spokesperson of the 'Friends of Fat Folk" organization which represents a lot of fat fucks said that they w...

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Funny story: Bodies of dead Daily Mail readers are not being buried because of credit crunch

Bodies of dead Daily Mail readers are not being buried because of credit crunch

United Kingdom - (Putrid Ass Mess): A lead article in this weekend's Daily Mail has revealed how decomposing bodies of thousands of its readers are lying around rotting because of the credit crunch fiasco. The tabloid's innovative reader burial sc...

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Funny story: Lots of Pretty Flowers at Ernest Keats Funeral

Lots of Pretty Flowers at Ernest Keats Funeral

The Paducah Sun - Although Ernest Keats was a reasonably beloved member of at least half of his family, the floral arrangements at his Friday funeral service dominated conversation during the post-funeral all-you-can-eat buffet luncheon at the home...

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Funny story: Man Dies After Wank in Bath

Man Dies After Wank in Bath

A 42 year old man from Dudley in the West Midlands died earlier today after having a wank whilst in the bath. After his bath he popped down to his local newsagents and was instantly killed as he stepped out in the path of a lorry whilst attempting...

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Funny story: Man With World's Longest Finger Dead in Bizarre Fairground Accident

Man With World's Longest Finger Dead in Bizarre Fairground Accident

The man with the longest finger in the world, Mr Brian Spindle, is reported to have been killed in a bizarre fairground accident earlier today. Mr Spindle, from Leek in Staffordshire, was reported to have suffered a fatal injury whilst riding the...

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Funny story: Ten Things To Do Before You Die

Ten Things To Do Before You Die

Get through a single day without being nagged by women. Go to work in a state of euphoria. Walk past a bar and not wish you were in there. Devise a foolproof way of denying your wife access to e-bay. See a jet plane cruising by high in the sky and be grateful you're not on it. Get somebody else to feed the cat/dog/iguana/whatever. Find out that heaven is a female free zone. Ho...

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Funny story: Global Warming Linked To Dead, Missing Children

Global Warming Linked To Dead, Missing Children

Scientists at the Mulberry Institute of Practical Sciences believe they have uncovered a new and even more destructive contributer to the world global warming crisis. According to their findings the surge of dead and missing children across the World...

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Funny story: Dead man confirmed dead

Dead man confirmed dead

In a shock twist, a man who was pronounced dead has been confirmed to be dead. The dead man's family had hoped the man would come back to life, perhaps witnessing him on TV after 8 years, or suddenly find him to have lost his memory and appear at a p...

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Funny story: David Blaine Sued Over Cunning Stunt

David Blaine Sued Over Cunning Stunt

Stupid magician David Blaine was today being sued under the trades description act after his "Dive of Death" didn't cause his untimely death. Literally dozens of fans waited until the end of his stunt to see him "dive to his death." When this didn...

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Funny story: Man dies of Procrastination

Man dies of Procrastination

Roger Wellington, 46, from Tanworth has been the first man in history to die from Procrastination. 'He was just doing nothing, like he always did' said his wife, Loretta Boot, 64. 'He said he would do it later, but most days when he got home from...

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Funny story: U.K Tabloid "Hero" Journalist Dies in Commode Horror

U.K Tabloid "Hero" Journalist Dies in Commode Horror

"Hero" tabloid journalist was being mourned world-wide after dying suddenly on his commode. Stewart "Danny Boy" Maclaine, 33 3/4 years old finally succumbed to a chronic illness and passed away while defecating on his commode; which is an old fashion...

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Funny story: Police to charge dead bodies over environment pollution

Police to charge dead bodies over environment pollution

In what many are seeing as an example of Political correctness gone mad, Metropolitan police have introduced charging the dead. A widow to Robert Jenkins who died last Wednesday and was formally charged by the police the next day, spoke for many w...

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Funny story: Pavarotti Ate My Picnic

Pavarotti Ate My Picnic

Modena - Over the weekend, while the world of music marked the first anniversary of the death of one its greatest performers, Luciano Pavarotti, one resident of Modena, Pavarotti's birthplace, showed no sign of reverence towards the deceased tenor.

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Funny story: British Swimmer Claims Silver After Near-Death Experience

British Swimmer Claims Silver After Near-Death Experience

British 10km Open Water swimmer David Davies swam the race of his life to win a silver medal in Beijing today, but revealed afterwards that it nearly didn't happen. Davies told officials at the finish line that he believed he had "died", and come...

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Funny story: Housewife Barbequed Alive in Faulty Sunbed

Housewife Barbequed Alive in Faulty Sunbed

A tanning parlour owner was sentenced to six week's community service today after a woman was cooked alive while using a defective sunbed. Kostas Gormlessky, an Albanian asylum-seeker, currently residing in Stoke-on-Trent, was convicted at Staffor...

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Funny story: A Terrible Murder; High Street Found Dead

A Terrible Murder; High Street Found Dead

Upper Lower Higgensfield- Shocking news has just come filtering into the office today that an entire high street has been found dead. The high street of Upper Lower Higgensfield was described by the investigating officer DI Chaplin as a 'happy go...

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Funny story: Water balloon fight - 4 dead

Water balloon fight - 4 dead

France is in mourning today after an emergency response team shot dead four teenagers they mistook to be terrorists.

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