Washington,D.C.-The Obama administration announced today that President Obama has signed an executive order delaying the start of Daylight Savings Time until after the elections in 2016. The move, which was widely anticipated, comes on the heels...
SILICONE VALLEY, CA - Google CEO Eric Schmidt says his company is making "progress" in its campaign to solve the unemployment crisis once and for all time by replacing human beings with robots. "By making people redundant," Schmidt said, "we no lo...
DETROIT - The consumer advocate group known as We Got Your Back has just issued a very important safety message. Consumer advocate Hannibal Linoleum wants all residents of the Great Lakes area to refrain from eating fish that was frozen in Lake Mi...
LOS ANGELES - American Spotlight Magazine has just broke the story about members of an infamous Los Angeles gang fighting in Afghanistan against the Taliban. Fitzwater Ribicoff, with ASM said that he was told by a member of the El Lay Toros Bravos...
As it looks like there may be a diplomatic solution to Russia's incursion into the Ukraine, Presidents Obama and Putin have had long telephone conversations trying to resolve the matter. Now, it turns out, that they have become great friends. Aid...
NEW YAWK, NEW YAWK -- Half-naked photographs of Vladimir ("The Impaler") Putin as he fishes in a river, rides horseback, swims, hunts tigers, and vetoes Federal Assembly legislation has caught the eye of the publisher of The Upholder, a gay male maga...
NEW YAWK, NEW YAWK -- In an effort to appear "tough," presidential candidate Hillary Clinton called Russian president Vladimir ("Vlad the Impaler") Putin "another Hitler." Except for Putin's mustache, she said, he looks just like the Nazi dictator...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Word coming out of the White House is that President Obama is quite excited about his upcoming trip to Copenhagen, Denmark. The president will be meeting with the Danish Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt who is one very attr...
CLEVELAND - The Battle of The Economic Sanctions between the USA and Russia has escalated yet another step. President Obama speaking in Cleveland in front of a convention for The Retired Tugboat Captains of Lake Erie was asked about the ongoing me...
LOS ANGELES - There are reports floating around LaLaLand that Justin Bieber is hoping that Selena Gomez will agree to get back together with him. A close friend of Bieber's stated that it is really all just a ploy by the Biebs in order to try and...
Pyongyang, North Korea Kim Jong Un announced today that he will embark on a world tour. He plans to start his tour in Washington, DC, where he has asked President Obama if he can stay at the White House and sleep in the Lincoln Bedroom. Presiden...
Senator John McCain demanded today that the Congress pass a Declaration of War against Canada and Mexico so that the U.S. could annex them. "The Obama Administration has been soft and cowardly on Putin's invasion of the Ukraine. It is his weaknes...
NEW YORK CITY - Piers Morgan recently told a news agency reporter that when he first was told that his show Piers Morgan Live had been cancelled he felt as if Kirstie Alley and Wynonna Judd had both sat on him at the exact same time. He said that...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama said that he has never enjoyed watching the Academy Award Show more than he did this one. The president watched the Tinsel Town show on The White House Big Screen TV Room along with the first lady (Michelle Obama...
WASHINGTON, DC - President Obama declared war on winter this morning after Washington DC was hit with another terrible snow storm, dropping nearly four inches of snow on the capital city. In the three previous snow storms, nearly ten inches of sn...
It was a momentous day in Washington as President Barack Obama put the finishing touches on a new bill that prevents Hollywood actors from playing more than one superhero on film. The President had been promising laws regulating actors and their por...
ATLANTA, GA - Stephen Colbert said he's "fine" with the National Security Agency (NSA) knowing about his "privates," i. e., private and personal information, such as whether he's lesbian (he's not), gay (who would care?), bisexual (he could be), tran...
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