BOISE, Idaho - President Barack Obama was in Boise to attend the dedication of the town's 80-foot tall Mr. Potato Head statue. After the festive festivities he was asked what he plans on doing about these nasty Al Qaeda and Taliban operatives who...
Clearly with a massive amount of evidence to support a claim of innocence for the serious charges against him, Nigerian passenger, Abdulmutallab plead 'Not Guity" to all charges in federal court this afternoon. Advised by his assigned pool lawyer...
Recognizing shifting U.S. demographics a top US retailer's 2010 product line will include useful accessories specifically designed to appeal to the terrorist segment. "This is an important customer group for us," said spokesperson Shabaella Fou.
An angry senior citizen upset over her pharmacies refusal to accept Medicare-B Rx plan for her medications, tried to blow herself up in front of the pharmacy counter at her local Walgroin's store. "I would have been successful too if I hadn't wet...
President Hussein Obama, Jr., reacted strongly against calls to prosecute the 'Nigerian Bomber' until he 'got his Johnson Back', according to Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, himself no stranger to being called a 'dick less C**** by critics. Umar Far...
The worlds largest import of motorbikes are interested in contacting the "crotch bomber" to try to incorporate his "underwear" bomb into their new motorcycle aptly dubbed "crotch rocket". The new bike just being mass produced in China is at prese...
The court-appointed attorney for crotch bomber Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab announced today that his legal defense at the upcoming criminal trial will be based on the "Nuh-uh!" theory. "What else can I do?," said Illinois Public Defender John Maynard...
In another example of just how secure US Security Agencies can make a secure White House function, it was revealed today that a third uninvited intruder managed to make his way past security and into the Double Secret Security Clearance Only, WH dinn...
The al-Qeada operative who tried to blow up an airliner over Detroit "may lose his sexual appendage," according to a reliable medical source treating Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab. The source says what is left of the 23-year-old Nigerian's penis wil...
There was widespread panic today in the city of Denver, Colorado, after a bomb nearly went off on a jet plane, but didn't. Thousands of its citizens were in a state of shock, many requiring medical treatment for what officials termed 'the worst case...
LONDON: It has been established that the Nigerian national who attempted to blow-up a Detroit-bound aircraft with his explosives-laden underwear was actually a 'sexually frustrated loner', unable to play out his normal sexual urges and who converted...
A 23-year-old Nigerian has been taken into custody after having an explosion take place in his pants as the plane he was on was approaching Detroit and being subdued by passengers and crew. Apparently this was the first time the passenger had bee...
Ahead of the New Year celebrations several countries have decided to ban fireworks and firework displays because they feel they are much too dangerous! In Baghdad there was a fireworks display planned but it has been banned because several childre...
Sources deep inside Muslim headquarters report that 72 virgins are 'very disappointed' in the performance of Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, who is alleged to have tried to blow up a Northwest Airlines flight from Amsterdam to Detroit on Christmas Day.
One thing all newspeople from print to CNN are agreed upon is that the names of terrorists are getting ridiculous and they have demanded shorter names or nicknames from the CIA and FBI. Yesterday it was reported on several Tv stations with a diffe...
Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, who is alleged to have tried to blow up a Northwest Airlines flight from Amsterdam to Detroit on Christmas Day, has been abducted from a Las Vegas casino. 'We thought that a Las Vegas casino was the most secure location...
Reports leaking out of the UK's leading scientific laboratory seem to confirm what everyone in the free world with a shred of common sense has known for years: the confiscated explosive suppository extracted from a burqa clad passenger contained po...
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