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Funny satire stories about Kate Middleton

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Funny story: Wills and Kate 'cracking up' as French £30 million cocaine bust scuppers royal wedding paycheque

Wills and Kate 'cracking up' as French £30 million cocaine bust scuppers royal wedding paycheque

London - (Bogota Ass Mess): The seizure of 684 kilos of cocaine in a Highgrove House 'Man & Van' in the Pont d'Alma Mater underpass where Princess Diana died has totally scuppered Prince William and Kate Middleton's royal wedding ambitions. Th...

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Funny story: Kate Middleton loses drug secrets in a handbag

Kate Middleton loses drug secrets in a handbag

London - (Desperate Royal Wannabe Mess): A fifty billion dollar drugs sting was thrown into chaos this week after recent MI6 recruit Kate Middleton left top secret intelligence about an imminent crack bust on a bus bound for South America. The inc...

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Funny story: The truth behind the Middleton fortune

The truth behind the Middleton fortune

After days of extensive research, undercover reporting and hours of having my phone call held in a queue, I finally got some answers to the question on everyone's lips; How is Prince Williams girlfriend so rich? The answer is relatively simple. The Middleton parents found love whilst on board flight BA4678, with her father sporting a rather dashing pinnie serving orange juice and champagne to t...

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Funny story: Kate Middleton: My Natasha Richardson Copycat Skiing Tragedy Fears

Kate Middleton: My Natasha Richardson Copycat Skiing Tragedy Fears

The Alps - (Klosters/Sloshters Mess): Desperate wannabe royal drama queen Kate Middleton freaked out today over fears of a 'copycat tragedy incident' in the Swiss Alps this week where she and William are courting free media publicity. "Some people...

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Funny story: Pictured: the discreet Highland crack den where Kate Middleton is schmoozing William into red-blooded heterosexuality

Pictured: the discreet Highland crack den where Kate Middleton is schmoozing William into red-blooded heterosexuality

Ballybollox Castle, Scotland - (Festive Fisting Mess): The UK media is all agog at recently released pictures of a 'simple Highland crack dealing den' on the Old Queen Mum's former Birkhall estate. The hut is where Koo Stark's bastard spawn Kate M...

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Funny story: Koo Stark $5 million life story admits she and Prince Charles are Kate Middleton's real parents

Koo Stark $5 million life story admits she and Prince Charles are Kate Middleton's real parents

Sandringham, Norfolk - (House of Windsor Bollox Mess): A gut-wrenching dread is enveloping the Sandringham estate this weekend ahead of the Yuletide gathering of Puppet Monarchy impostors eagerly awaiting to get their hoary snouts into the annual squ...

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Funny story: Famous astrologer forsees Charles-Camilla scenario for Prince William-Kate Middleton. Secret Boleyn curse dooms their chances for wedded bliss!

Famous astrologer forsees Charles-Camilla scenario for Prince William-Kate Middleton. Secret Boleyn curse dooms their chances for wedded bliss!

With speculation rife that Prince William and Kate Middleton are about to split, Royal-watchers are in a downright tizzy. After six years of dating based on an "understanding", Kate was horrified to learn that Wills has decided to put his RAF career...

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Funny story: Kate Middleton ectopic phantom pregnancy fears

Kate Middleton ectopic phantom pregnancy fears

London - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): Pals of Kate Middleton say the desperate royal wannabe has an ectopic phantom pregnancy after a bit of ectoplasm emerged from her arse. "An ectopic pregnancy can be described as a constipation of the uterus," no...

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Funny story: Maggots flee Kate Middleton's snatch

Maggots flee Kate Middleton's snatch

London - (Festering Mess): Harley Street gynaecologists are baffled. An obscure, crawling species that wormed its way up Kate Middleton's fanny on holiday made a sudden hurried exit all over the Mahiki night club dance floor on Friday night. Horr...

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Funny story: Desperate royal wannabe Kate Middleton SO embarrasing says royal wedding bride

Desperate royal wannabe Kate Middleton SO embarrasing says royal wedding bride

London - (Ass Mess): As she swept up the aisle of the Queen's Chapel on the arm of her father the Duke of Gloucester today radiant-looking bride Lady Rose Windsor was heard stifling a cringeing gasp at the sight of desperate royal clinger-on Kate...

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Funny story: Being Vladimir Putin's assistant not a proper job Queen tells Kate Middleton

Being Vladimir Putin's assistant not a proper job Queen tells Kate Middleton

London - (Republican Mess): Kate Middleton has been told to stop her arms proliferation and drug running business on behalf of Vladimir Putin's 250+ London-based spooks and get a proper job to pay for any future wedding to William. That is the Pup...

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Funny story: The Kate Middleton skagheads' needle exchange garden takes gold

The Kate Middleton skagheads' needle exchange garden takes gold

Chelsea - (Rehab Mess): A post-urban smack addicts' needle exchange garden modelled on Kate Middleton's social life has taken gold at the Chelsea Flower Show.

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Funny story: Prince William helps to dry Kate Middleton's smalls

Prince William helps to dry Kate Middleton's smalls

As meteorological records show April 3rd 2008 was the least windy day since records began. A high barometric pressure front had settled over Berkshire and although there was great visibility, the sun was not up to full strength becau...

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Funny story: New William stunt as he lands chopper in Kate's back passage

New William stunt as he lands chopper in Kate's back passage

RAF Odiham - (Ass Mess): The tribute artiste known as Prince William faces courtmartial after veering off-piste to land an RAF Chinook in Kate Middleton's rural back passage.

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Funny story: Prince William & Kate Middleton To Perform Amazing Stunt in Hyde Park

Prince William & Kate Middleton To Perform Amazing Stunt in Hyde Park

So now that Prince William has now successfully gained his wings which qualifies him to pilot aircraft, both rotary and fixed-wing, what next?...

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Funny story: Kate Middleton's St Valentine's Day royal ultimatum

Kate Middleton's St Valentine's Day royal ultimatum

London - (Preposterous Mess): Kate Middleton has given Prince William a St Valentine's Day ultimatum: take the Harley Street gay cure, buy the ring, make the announcement "or the homoerotic video footage gets posted on the Royal AC/DC Chann...

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Funny story: Queen given £3m to make crumbling Kate Middleton safe

Queen given £3m to make crumbling Kate Middleton safe

London - Preposterous Mess): The UK's top royal benefit scounger has managed to blag a £3 million swagbag to shore up a disastrous PR campaign that promoted desperate wannabe somebody Kate Middleton as the next House of Windsor bride.

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